Community Chat

[YaleLaw2011a]

I have been in a serious relationship for almost 16 years with a wonderful man. Two years ago, I moved into his home with him (my son was starting law school and my Mom was alive and in a nursing home at that time). We are for all intents and purposes, husband and wife and plan on marrying and he has given me a beautiful ring. My BF has 2 grown sons from his previous marriage and 2 stepsons. The Ex-Wife has always been a thorn in my side. She is the one who filed for divorce, was extremely nasty, etc., yet for the sake of his sons, he has made sure she is taken care of. She doesn't work -- she is on SS disability. She lives in a 2nd home owned by him, pays no expenses. Her SS money is for her food, phone, groceries, etc. She had nothing but bad things to say about me initially because she decided she wanted my BF back but he is in love with me.

I am kind of torn by what is now going on. She has been in and out of the hospitals every other week for the past few months. Last Monday, she went in and they thought it was her heart. By Sunday, she seemed "normal", was talking etc. This past Monday morning, she coded 3 times. They shocked her heart back. She is now unconscious. They think she may have brain damage. Kidneys have gone into failure, etc. Her son flew in on Monday evening from out of state, two of her sons are here locally and another up North that hasn't come. My BF spent the night on Monday at the hospital and came home at 5:30 a.m. He has been in the hospital with his sons pretty much round the clock. I feel horrible for this woman and the sons for what they are going through. Yet, I am having a hard time with the reaction of my BF. I know they have a lot of history -- they were married for approx. 27 years -- have 2 children between them, etc. He has been crying, etc. I feel somewhat resentful and I know this is horrible. Are my feelings normal?