Community Chat

[Thrive]

Just about each time I go to the beauty salon the stylist brings up a subject of personal loss that is still hard for me to cope with. She even goes to great lengths to say it loudly enough for others to hear the conversation. It opens fresh wounds for me. I really have no idea why she finds the need to do this. Each time I go I hope she doesn't bring it up. She is typically the only stylist there. Therefore, I can't choose another one and I don't know whether it would make a difference anyway. I don't want to say that I don't want to talk about it because it gives too much of my business away in terms of how I feel. I need a way of conveying my feelings without being personal. What can I do?

[terrier3]

I would FIRMLY say "We have talked about this before, and I don't want to talk about it again. I'm moving forward...won't you too?"

Then YOU change the subject....be prepared with something to discuss - like Kim K's new blonde hairstyle...something totally off the subject.

[Suziepeach]

Politely let her know you don't want her to mention it again. You're the customer and she should respect your personal business. It should only take once of your telling her, if not, I'd find another stylist. Or just flat out say, "I don't want to talk about it!"

[circles]

That you let her continue to make you uncomfortable for so long amazes me....I would have nipped that in the bud right away...and if that didn't work...I would find another salon to go to.....learn to speak up for yourself....

[hennypenny]

It may be totally innocent on her part. She may want to be friendly and chat with you and this may be the only thing she knows about you. Give her a few other topics or tidbits so she can associate another subject with you next time. A gentle steering may be all she needs.-------If she is just a nosey gossip there is no cure.

[Thrive]

Wow, all of you gave me such great tips. I will certainly put them to use. The point of speaking up for myself is well taken. Thanks again ladies!

[TaxyLady]

I would say ""Could we change the subject. I don't want to dwell on the negative today""

[croemer]

I would be furious and find another salon but if that is not an option for some reason:

I would in no uncertain terms tell her it has been discussed and I will not discuss it again. I would also tell her if she mentions it again...ever...we are done.

Is there a reason you are tolerating her?

[croemer]

On 3/8/2015 hennypenny said:

It may be totally innocent on her part. She may want to be friendly and chat with you and this may be the only thing she knows about you. Give her a few other topics or tidbits so she can associate another subject with you next time. A gentle steering may be all she needs.-------If she is just a nosey gossip there is no cure.

Well said. I too wonder if she not trying to have a subject to discuss but how clueless she must be to not realize how hurtful the subject is?

[TaxyLady]

You don't have to be nasty to her like some may have. We are supposed to love each other regardless of our faults. When you say something in love it will come out ok and not offend her.