Re: Took Keys Away From Dad

HiLo · ‎03-10-2010

@Winifred wrote:
I was one of those super nervous as my Dad was developing Dementia - I did NOT want to be the one who pulled his chain and I wasn't. He himself decided to give it up - always said I had one smart Dad. I was sure sweating it however. He fought in three wars, WWII, Korea and Nam - and he was smartest man I ever knew. This only proved it even more. He was buried on his 90th BD.

Sorry he is gone now Winifred. I know how proud you must be of your dear Dad, a real hero of the "greatest generation". Just wish I could thank him in person and give him a big hug! What great people our vets were and are; often giving their all so we are free to even post on this blog!

momtochloe · ‎11-03-2013

I took care of my mom for a long time. I always took her wherever she needed to go and there was never any confusion as to whether this was going to happen and thank heaven's my mom never had cognitive issues.

One day at work I was delayed by 5-10 minutes to take my mom to one of her doctor's appointments. When I got home, I was stunned to find her car gone, she had taken it upon herself to drive herself there (even though we had more than enough time if she had waited for me).

Long story short the doctor'f office got backed up and by the time we were ready to leave I didn't want her driving as I knew she couldnt see well enough as it had gotten dark. She insisted she would follow me which lasted until she missed the last turn off to our house . . . I finally found her and got her home and hid the keys from that point forward.

I was stunned she did that as normally my mom knew I would be there in plenty of time to get her to her appointments . . . sometimes those senior moments pop up when you least expect them.

Say Nay · ‎03-12-2010

@momtochloe wrote:
I took care of my mom for a long time. I always took her wherever she needed to go and there was never any confusion as to whether this was going to happen and thank heaven's my mom never had cognitive issues.

One day at work I was delayed by 5-10 minutes to take my mom to one of her doctor's appointments. When I got home, I was stunned to find her car gone, she had taken it upon herself to drive herself there (even though we had more than enough time if she had waited for me).

Long story short the doctor'f office got backed up and by the time we were ready to leave I didn't want her driving as I knew she couldnt see well enough as it had gotten dark. She insisted she would follow me which lasted until she missed the last turn off to our house . . . I finally found her and got her home and hid the keys from that point forward.

I was stunned she did that as normally my mom knew I would be there in plenty of time to get her to her appointments . . . sometimes those senior moments pop up when you least expect them.

You must have been in a panic. How scary.

_____ ,,,^ ._. ^,,,_____

momtochloe · ‎11-03-2013

@The Monkey on My Back wrote:
@momtochloe wrote:
I took care of my mom for a long time. I always took her wherever she needed to go and there was never any confusion as to whether this was going to happen and thank heaven's my mom never had cognitive issues.

One day at work I was delayed by 5-10 minutes to take my mom to one of her doctor's appointments. When I got home, I was stunned to find her car gone, she had taken it upon herself to drive herself there (even though we had more than enough time if she had waited for me).

Long story short the doctor'f office got backed up and by the time we were ready to leave I didn't want her driving as I knew she couldnt see well enough as it had gotten dark. She insisted she would follow me which lasted until she missed the last turn off to our house . . . I finally found her and got her home and hid the keys from that point forward.

I was stunned she did that as normally my mom knew I would be there in plenty of time to get her to her appointments . . . sometimes those senior moments pop up when you least expect them.
You must have been in a panic. How scary.

Thank you so much for your very kind words. I can still remember the panic I felt when I opened the garage door and her car was gone and when I ran into the house so we she . . . when I sailed into the doctor's office I couldn't believe her sitting there like nothing had happened.

It just goes to show you even if your parents don't exhibit signs of cognitive issues they can still act out when you least expect it. My mom was quite pleased with herself until she realized the damage she could have created as she pulled out in front of a car to make a right hand turn and lucky for us that was the end of it.

It's not easy and I wish each and every one of you the best of luck and please don't be too hard on yourselves or your loved ones. It's a journey that can be very trying but you will get through it successfully.

janeec · ‎02-17-2013

It is never easy to tell anyone, especially a parent, that they can no longer drive. My father still has his license, and a car. He drives only during the day, when there is little traffic, on days with good weather, not too sunny, not wet, not too dark. That means, he hardly drives.

I have made myself available to my parents to drive them when and where they want. I have told them I want them to remain independent, so let me drive if there is any question that they could have an accident as their licenses would be yanked because of their age (87).

They have the feeling of independence, but realize I am correct and they drive no more than 3 miles at any one time. For us, it's a win-win. I am driving more and more, and they call me even for a trip that is less than 2 miles. My husband supports all of this as well.

Best of luck.

aprilskies · ‎03-09-2010

This is definitely a tough issue. One my family and I didnt know how to go about. My dad is stubborn as can be. However, when he turned, I dont know, 84 I think, he had a couple of mishaps, nothing big but little fender benders but I think he was starting to feel them. Then one day, his car got totalled in an accident, he was not the driver but we never got him a new car and it wasnt something he could do himself. However, he never once put a fuss. I think he knew and was relieved. We were all super shocked and grateful that it wasnt a huge battle. Now, I have to take my parents anywhere they need to go and it can get overwhelming at times, but I have no problem with it. Better they are safe and so is every one else. My dad was getting a bit too aggressive on the road.

I feel for anyone going through this, it is not easy.

onewhiteSparrow · ‎08-05-2011

Everyone I know has a second pair of car or truck keys.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@onewhiteSparrow wrote:
Everyone I know has a second pair of car or truck keys.

My dad has NO keys, I made sure of that.

By the way, how is that "move" to Communist China, going?

onewhiteSparrow · ‎08-05-2011

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@onewhiteSparrow wrote:
Everyone I know has a second pair of car or truck keys.

My dad has NO keys, I made sure of that.

By the way, how is that "move" to Communist China, going?