Took Keys Away From Dad

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

I knew that this day was coming, and I was not looking forward to it, because I know just how stubborn, and in denial my dad can be.

As you know, he's 88, going to be 89 in February. He had cataract surgery this past Wednesday, TWO days ago!

The doctor said that it would be at least three weeks before he could drive.

He has cataract surgery on the other eye on January 6.

Today he told me that he wants to drive to church tomorrow.

I said, "No. The doctor said no driving for three weeks."

"I can see fine!"

I gave him a choice, either give me the keys, or I'm going to disable the truck.

He continued to argue.

I again gave him his choices.

More arguing.

I was adamant. He was NOT going to drive!

He wasn't giving me his keys, so I marched out to his truck, (I have keys to it), popped the hood, and started to look at what I could pull.

Dad came out, asked what I was going to do to disable it.

I said, "I'll pull the spark plugs out of it.", and I had my hand on the wires, ready to do so.

He then threw his keys on the ground, and stomped off.

I tok his keys.off of his key ring, and locked them inside my car, and no, he does not have keys to my car.

He sulked for awhile, but, once he calmed down, I reminded him, that when Mom had her cataract surgery, she didn't go driving a few days later.

I also told him that he schlepped me around plenty when I was a kid, now it's my turn to schlep him around.

That got him to chuckle.

I also told him that he would survive not driving.

But I was 100% dead serious about him not driving. I could not, in good conscience, put his safety, and the safety of others, at risk.

Yes, he can be stubborn, but I can be just as stubborn, if not more so.

I know that driving is his independence, I get that.

But sometimes safety is more important than independence.

This is that time.

*Sigh*

Pinkroses · ‎03-10-2010

I feel for you I remember when we took the keys from my Father. It was so sad but safety came first.

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

It's really hard when parents age and decisions need to be made. Congratulations on taking the first step.

Cats3000 · ‎10-07-2013

It's hard when parents age, period. We are in our mid 70's. I dread the day when I can't drive or when we have to sell our home and move into some sort of facility. You have absolutely no idea of how hard it is to know that you're losing the independence you've had all of your life. It is a frightening thought.

JustJazzmom · ‎03-09-2010

My Dad made the decision to stop driving when he turned about 85. I think that when he got a red light camera ticket was what prompted the decision.
When he told me he had gotten a camera ticket, I asked him, 'didn't you see the flash go off?' Even in the daylight, that flash looks like lightning!

I'm glad that we didn't have to remove the keys from him.

☼The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. GBShaw☼

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

I also told my dad that his not driving was non negotiatable.

I said, "Either give me the keys, or I start pulling."

That's when he threw the keys on the ground.

BabyYoda · ‎03-09-2010

Good for you for taking his keys away. It is dangerous not only for him but others on the road.

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

Awww, Plaid. I know that was tough on you both, but you did the right thing.

Doctors can also have someone's license pulled if necessary.

I hope it works out ok for you and your father.

MomCat · ‎09-12-2010

Been there, done that, and really appreciate you. My wish is for everyone to have someone in their life that cares so much about them and others to do the right thing.