Community Chat

[pattypeep]

.....my mother's birthday. We lost her 15 years ago. I've mentioned a few times here that I was raised in a dysfunctional home. Never a hug, never an I love you, but I still miss her. I can understand how small children who get mistreated still want to be with their parents. Just a natural instinct or something. With her birthday so close to Christmas, I always made sure I wrapped her birthday gift very UNChristmas. People used to laugh about how people with birthdays close to Christmas often got their gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. I gave her a hanging fuscia basket every Mother's Day which she looked forward to. She named them Pretty Patty. So, I know that she loved me in her own way and the best way that she could. Happy Birthday, Mom.

[dmod nj]

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@pattypeep wrote:

.....my mother's birthday. We lost her 15 years ago. I've mentioned a few times here that I was raised in a dysfunctional home. Never a hug, never an I love you, but I still miss her. I can understand how small children who get mistreated still want to be with their parents. Just a natural instinct or something. With her birthday so close to Christmas, I always made sure I wrapped her birthday gift very UNChristmas. People used to laugh about how people with birthdays close to Christmas often got their gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. I gave her a hanging fuscia basket every Mother's Day which she looked forward to. She named them Pretty Patty. So, I know that she loved me in her own way and the best way that she could. Happy Birthday, Mom.

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@pattypeep  thank you for sharing your heart. Thank you for the highlighted words. I needed to hear them today.  

Merry Christmas and all the best in 2017.

[MyShadowLove]

((((((@pattypeep))))))...What a wonderful daughter you are...filled with such unconditional love in your heart!

I hope that your life is surrounded by much love and comfort!

[CareBears]

@pattypeep I am so very sorry for your loss, though it is not my father's birthday today, I lost him this day back in 1990, so let's hug each over the miles, and lift each other up, and concentrate on thier beautiful smiles, though they may be gone from earth, they live forever in our hearts!

[CareBears]

@pattypeep I lost my Dad back in 1995, my Mom in 1990, sorry!

[Poodlepet2]

I went through this issue extensively with my therapist's guidance-and what she said changed everything from hurt to acceptance and peace.

Your mother's actions created the person you are now. You pushed back-without realizing it-but it was in a positive way. 

You went on to love-and show love in a way that was not done for you.

Yes-you could have been emotionally cold as she was-it's what you knew. It's how you were raised.....but that's not what happened.

It's emotional physics: for each action, there is an equal or opposite reaction.....and you went in that opposite direction.

My therapist helped me to understand that my mother raised me in the best way that she knew-positive or negative. Her actions helped shape me who I am now....I didn't think I loved her, but I do-and I miss her.

Hugs,

Poodlepet2

[MyShadowLove]

@Poodlepet2...Powerful post!

[pattypeep]

@Poodlepet2  Wow. I believe your therapist nailed it for me, too. I raised three kids and couldn't have been different than my parents had I tried. And I didn't have to try. It came naturally. They are in their 30's and 40's and still get kisses, hugs, and I love you's every time I see or talk to them. When they were growing up I was afraid I would chap their little cheeks from so many kisses. I am happy for you, @Poodlepet2, that you were helped by a wise therapist. God Bless and Happy Holidays.

[Poodlepet2]

Two peas, I just really "inhaled" your byline: you see, you are there....you give love and you are loved.  If that isn't success in life, then I don't know what is!

Hugs,

Poodlepet2

[qualitygal]

@pattypeep, if it helps at all, she probably didn't received the same from her folks. Our parents didn't hug and kiss and say I love you, but there was never any doubt. Children learn from what they live. In today's world I see more, I love you's and hugs (love hugs) should call them huggies! I'm happy to see that too. I'm sure in some respect you were loved, they just weren't demonstrative. A lot of parents weren't.