Community Chat

[Drythe]

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@NycVixen wrote:

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@NycVixen wrote:

I'm sure all these men knew what they were doing but I think narcissism and ego also led these men who claim there were "shared feelings" or "some is not accurate" to believe on some level that these women wanted them. These type of situations where power and sexual impropriety intersect are so complicated.

I remember Tiger Woods saying he felt entitled to sleep with all those women. There seems to be a sense of entitlement that comes with their success that they honestly believe they are 'owed' these sexual experiences and in turn to have as many women as they please. Their egos and hubris rationalize the behavior and while knowing they are assaulting or harassing women, some part of their male ego says to them that the women want them in return. That these women are lucky to be with them due to their fame and/or success.

What's clear from all the sexual assault and harassment to all the male shooters is that men are and have been in crisis for a very long time.

But since they control everything they suppress the gendered narrative. Men, as women long have known, are not as good as they think they are. They are on top not based entirely on merit but due to women's continued oppression. 

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@NycVixenI'm pretty sure you are saying men control everything.  To which I say...

There are some women at all levels of government, CEO's, and world leaders who would disagree with that.

Maybe it's that kind of thinking...that men control everything...that got us where we are today.  I think I read some time ago that you are a millenial. If your peers believe that too, we'll be having these same news reports again in the future.

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@esmerelda Unfortunately, whether you agree or disagree, it's a fact. 

It did get us where we are today because women are oppressed. Women are still being egregiously discriminated and are treated like objects. Why do women still make less than men? Because men control industry, organizations etc. Society reflects men's aspirations, needs and desires by design.

Misogyny and the idea that women are inferior to men is instilled into all persons from birth, male or female. This issue is systemic. In order to find  solutions, we must all face the facts and not just people my age. Millenials are not in control; older generations are. Passing future blame to us is  counterproductive. 

This current situation has nothing to do with my age or my peers. It's the state of affairs of the world. This will keep happening until women are respected and have true decision power.

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@NycVixenAnd how will ^^^that^^^ happen?

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@esmerelda

I think it starts with Women supporting Women, getting beyond the divisive blame and shame, and developing the empathy to accept that just because they themselves avoided some level of harassment doesn’t make them special, or give them the right to judge others, in many, most cases it simply means that they were randomly lucky.

We must direct our anger, not at the victimized, but at the people who perpetuate the atrocities, and the system which supports and jests about it.

We must stop looking at our differences and focus on our similarities.  Then we have power, because population wise we do.

[Posh Poodle]

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@Noel7 wrote:

MSNBC reported Lauer raped a woman in his office, locked her in.

She lost consciousness and needed medical help, so he had an assistant take her to see the nurse.

Usually the courts don’t find an apology is enough in an attack like that.

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My mother and I were discussing this very incident. We're both RNs, and as RNs we are mandated reporters. So, did the nurse who treated this victim report the assault/rape? It should have been!

[Carmie]

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@Posh Poodle wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

MSNBC reported Lauer raped a woman in his office, locked her in.

She lost consciousness and needed medical help, so he had an assistant take her to see the nurse.

Usually the courts don’t find an apology is enough in an attack like that.

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My mother and I were discussing this very incident. We're both RNs, and as RNs we are mandated reporters. So, did the nurse who treated this victim report the assault/rape? It should have been!

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I don’t know the answer, but I can tell you that mandated reporters don’t always report.

i volunteer at a school and I am a mandated reporter as are all employees who work there.  We had to take a course and sign papers stating we know our obligations.

We have had kids who were abused and came  to school with marks on them.  They admit to a parent beating them.  The teachers don’t want to get involved, so they send the kids to the nurse, who has a meeting with the principal and they discuss what to do. Nothing is done.  As you know, there is not supposed to be a meeting to discuss.  A mandated reporter is suppose to report...period. They are not supposed to investigate on their own.

i have reported two cases after nothing was done.  I got dirty looks from the principal when the paperwork’s came back into the school with my name on it, but he has never said anything to me about it, and he better not.

The mandated system isn’t working as it is supposed to.

[pitdakota]

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@Posh Poodle wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

MSNBC reported Lauer raped a woman in his office, locked her in.

She lost consciousness and needed medical help, so he had an assistant take her to see the nurse.

Usually the courts don’t find an apology is enough in an attack like that.

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My mother and I were discussing this very incident. We're both RNs, and as RNs we are mandated reporters. So, did the nurse who treated this victim report the assault/rape? It should have been!

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______________________________________________________

@Posh Poodle, I think it is important to remember we don't have all of the information or facts.  We don't know at this point, but it is a possibility that the woman did not tell the nurse what actually happened in Matt's office at that time.  She was undoubtedly traumatized, had passed out, and may have just told the nurse she "just passed out" while in Matt's office.  She may not have had time to process exactly what had happened and may very well may not have said anything at that moment.  

We don't even know for sure that Matt's assistant knew what happened.  Matt may have dressed her and then called for his assistant saying she just passed out.  

At this point all we can do is speculate because the public doesn't have all of the facts...just the report of the incident by the woman as reported to the press.  And for all we know, the incident was reported and no one had taken any action.  We just don't know at this point.  

[NycVixen]

@esmerelda Just so you know I'm a graduate student working to be part of the solution. 

There is no magic formula. However, experts in women's studies agree that until most women, not just some women are empowered, the world's most pressing problems like poverty and inequality that lead to oppression will not be resolved. 

A more relevant question is how can we empower women? This is what I work on of course in a more in depth and precise manner. But that is the core of my work. Before you can figure out how to empower women, you need to investigate what is power and what are its forms. How does power once defined manifest itself? Who holds power? etc. This is why funding for academia and research is so important. 

My main work is to inform policy so that tangible change is made not just on a research or theoretical level. 

And I would remiss to add that context matters. Investigative work must take into account the context so it's relevant and effective. The main problem with development is the usual one fits all approach that has never worked. Therefore, these questions and others need to be asked and answered with specificity.  Women are not a monolithic group. It's hard work but very rewarding.

You can't expect women's interests to matter if they cannot influence the decisions that affect where they work or live. 

[Drythe]

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@NycVixen wrote:

@esmerelda Just so you know I'm a graduate student working to be part of the solution. 

There is no magic formula. However, experts in women's studies agree that until most women, not just some women are empowered, the world's most pressing problems like poverty and inequality that lead to oppression will not be resolved. 

A more relevant question is how can we empower women? This is what I work on of course in a more in depth and precise manner. But that is the core of my work. Before you can figure out how to empower women, you need to investigate what is power and what are its forms. How does power once defined manifest itself? Who holds power? etc. This is why funding for academia and research is so important. 

My main work is to inform policy so that tangible change is made not just on a research or theoretical level. 

And I would remiss to add that context matters. Investigative work must take into account the context so it's relevant and effective. The main problem with development is the usual one fits all approach that has never worked. Therefore, these questions and others need to be asked and answered with specificity.  Women are not a monolithic group. It's hard work but very rewarding.

You can't expect women's interests to matter if they cannot influence the decisions that affect where they work or live. 

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@NycVixen

Well said.

From my end of the playground we must learn to vote with our feet, to support one another’s issues, and initiatives, to do our reasearch before investing our resources ⏱💵(which are comparatively meager), to develop our own networks, and once in a while (‘cause it’s necessary) to kiss a toad,🐸 and take one for the team. 

Did I get all those metaphors  in?

[SaRina]

Of course, we need to support each other -- that's a given. But what's most important is taking personal responsibility. Culture change begins with individuals.  Women need to learn to speak up, make demands, not allow themselves to be exploited.  No, it's not easy, but it can be done and has to be done. I did it. Women have to figure out their priorities.

Individual responsibility becomes collective responsibility. Until individual responsibility takes place, the culture will never change.

[Carmie]

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@SaRina wrote:

Of course, we need to support each other -- that's a given. But what's most important is taking personal responsibility. Culture change begins with individuals.  Women need to learn to speak up, make demands, not allow themselves to be exploited.  No, it's not easy, but it can be done and has to be done. I did it. Women have to figure out their priorities.

Individual responsibility becomes collective responsibility. Until individual responsibility takes place, the culture will never change.

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Agreed.  And now that this problem has been brought to the front on so many levels, it has opened the flod waters  so that women will be believed and when they do report incidents or stand up for themselves.  They will not be told to be quiet, or made to feel they are at fault. And if they are, they hopefully will feel enabled to fight back.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@SaRina wrote:

Of course, we need to support each other -- that's a given. But what's most important is taking personal responsibility. Culture change begins with individuals.  Women need to learn to speak up, make demands, not allow themselves to be exploited.  No, it's not easy, but it can be done and has to be done. I did it. Women have to figure out their priorities.

Individual responsibility becomes collective responsibility. Until individual responsibility takes place, the culture will never change.

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If women want to be respected they need to respect themselves, speak up for themselves and take control of situations.  It is about standing up for yourself.  Cannot expect others to fight your battle for you.

[Laura14]

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@Carmie wrote:

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@Posh Poodle wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

MSNBC reported Lauer raped a woman in his office, locked her in.

She lost consciousness and needed medical help, so he had an assistant take her to see the nurse.

Usually the courts don’t find an apology is enough in an attack like that.

---

My mother and I were discussing this very incident. We're both RNs, and as RNs we are mandated reporters. So, did the nurse who treated this victim report the assault/rape? It should have been!

---

I don’t know the answer, but I can tell you that mandated reporters don’t always report.

i volunteer at a school and I am a mandated reporter as are all employees who work there.  We had to take a course and sign papers stating we know our obligations.

We have had kids who were abused and came  to school with marks on them.  They admit to a parent beating them.  The teachers don’t want to get involved, so they send the kids to the nurse, who has a meeting with the principal and they discuss what to do. Nothing is done.  As you know, there is not supposed to be a meeting to discuss.  A mandated reporter is suppose to report...period. They are not supposed to investigate on their own.

i have reported two cases after nothing was done.  I got dirty looks from the principal when the paperwork’s came back into the school with my name on it, but he has never said anything to me about it, and he better not.

The mandated system isn’t working as it is supposed to.

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This infuriates me!  THANK YOU @Carmie for doing the right thing! 

I get that not everyone has a mouth on them like I and some other girls do but not speaking up when something is right in your face is just criminal. 

Good for you for showing them how it's done.  I hope someone scares the heck out of the non reporters too and tells them they expect it will never fall just on your shoulders again or they'll be out of a job or worse behind bars themselves.

Kids can't get themselves out of a bad situation.  Only an adult can.  Burns my butt to read something like this and not many things do that.