Therapist Issue

Ladygray · ‎06-18-2017

I was needing an EAP therapist for some work related issues. I looked high and low for the best one, reading their bios, etc.

When I found the one I chose I was thrilled. She seemed so invested in her profession, she actually used therapy horses to help some of her clients, and on her Twitter account, she shared inspiring stories and quotes that resonated with me.

I finally called her and she was super nice and easy to talk to. We set up weekly sessions via phone after work. She was easy to talk to, but then things got weird.

She'd text me about 30 min before a session and say she was running late. I raced home to take her call after work so it was a bit frustrating. One time the 15 min she said she'd be late turned into 30. She has been late a few times now. Then once I heard water running in the background as though she was doing dishes or something while in the session with me. I thought it wasn't good protocol, but it's one of the pitfalls of remote sessions these days.

Then yesterday, she called me (again about 15 min late) and we were talking when I kept hearing voices and a ringing sound. I thought perhaps she had the TV on in the background or something. But after about 30 min, I heard someone say, "Thanks for coming in," and then the sound of a cash register. It seems she was doing some kind of shopping while talking to me on the phone in my session.

It's EAP (Employee Assistance Program). I don't pay, but she still gets her hourly fee from the insurance company. I can't help but think she is using the time with me (getting paid) to run errands. I didn't say anything, but don't know what to do now. She's very nice and supportive, but it's not right. I can't believe her website shows her to be so professional, etc. but what she's doing isn't kosher.

I don't know what to do. I invested so much time in telling her my work issues, and she offers good advice,but her actions are so ****** unprofessional.

Not sure what to do. I just can't believe she does this. I've had other EAP counselors in my work history, and none were perfect and we met in their office pre-Covid, but this behavior is like I'm in a sitcom or something. It's bizarre.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

I would report your experiences regarding her practices, to the insurance company that's paying her!

Ladygray · ‎06-18-2017

That's a good option.

It's so depressing that someone professing to be a therapist would be that blatently unprofessional and careless.

What surprises me is that she's been a therapist for 30 years. I was impressed with her background and experience.

People try to get away with so much these days. It's very disheartening.

Ladygray · ‎06-18-2017

The thing that really bothers me is part of my work issue is my boss disrespects me and is so demeaning to me and others. I am dealing with someone at work who is unprofessional on so many levels.

Then... to have a therapist who knows my situation pretend to be giving me her time and attention only to go shopping while talking to me, it's maddening. What about my privacy?

I laugh out of sheer shock. What the heck is wrong with people?

tipsy · ‎03-11-2010

Very unprofessional & she has to be distracted from focusing all her attention on you when she is out running errands or washing dishes, etc.

Can't you both wear masks for in-person meetings?

Ladygray · ‎06-18-2017

@tipsy wrote:
Very unprofessional & she has to be distracted from focusing all her attention on you when she is out running errands or washing dishes, etc.
Can't you both wear masks for in-person meetings?

She isn't seeing patients in her office right now.

nana59 · ‎05-12-2012

@Ladygray wrote:
That's a good option.

It's so depressing that someone professing to be a therapist would be that blatently unprofessional and careless.

What surprises me is that she's been a therapist for 30 years. I was impressed with her background and experience.

People try to get away with so much these days. It's very disheartening.

after 30 years....maybe it's time to retire....instead of not doing her job....and still getting paid for it....shame on her......

moonandthestars · ‎03-11-2010

@Ladygray Wow, that is really very upsetting and disappointing. I can definitely see how that would shake you up. I'm sorry you are going through this. especially difficult since she had your trust. Do you think you could say something to her? It might be helpful to you to say it. to her. She should not be treating you this way. It's interesting that you mentioned that it mirrors in a way the issue that you are having with your boss. Maybe the growth opportunity here is to stand up for yourself - at least speak up for yourself. You deserve someone who treats your appointments with respect. That would mean being reliably on time and completely focused on you during your appointment.

pdlinda · ‎10-23-2011

@Ladygray What you describe is really outrageous and very disturbing!

During my career I used EAP counselling services several times and the professional I selected to help me assisted me greatly. Of course, that was before COVID so things were handled in person.

Please give thought to the ramifications of you reporting her behavior to the insurance company. Her license might be placed in jeopardy after 30 years of her professional service. From her perspective, your very detailed rendition of what occurred between you might turn into a situation whereby what you experienced is reported by her to be a total "misunderstanding" and/or "misperception" of the truth.

Did you per chance record any of the calls (therapy sessions) where these incidents took place?

Ladygray · ‎06-18-2017

I appreciate all your responses and suggestions.

My boss is impossible. It's not like I don't want to stand up to her, but she will make my life more miserable. I work in HR, so there really is nowhere to go to complain.

I will probablly end up saying something to the therapist. It's funny, she sent me this 5 page questionnaire about my goals, my history, etc. Wonder if she even read it. She does offer good advice, but that's no reason to keep someone who isn't treating me with the respect I deserve.

Some therapists need a therapist.