Community Chat

[stevieb]

---

@Spurt wrote:

---

@Lali1 wrote:

---

@Spurt wrote:

---

@Lali1 wrote:

I saw that episode. I can't say that anyone in their shoes would do different. Maybe but most of us have never had to deal with such an awful situation. When it's your own child you do have denial. Problem with getting help for a child like that is sometimes the help is scary for the parent. I'd be afraid my child would be taken away or worse. It's a scary situation and I feel for the parents. 

---

@Lali1 

That's not normal behavior and if the parent was in denial they also need extensive mental help as well...... I dont care if it was my child, I'd be worried about the harm he would do to others and also to myself as the parent......

---

Of course it's not normal. People deal with what they're given. It's super easy to say I wouldn't do that when I have not walked in these peoples shoes. I've seen several of these shows and the parents know their child isn't right but don't know how to deal with it. Judging them is easy living their life not so much. 

---

@Lali1 

It's acting responsibly as a parent....

If they don't know how to deal with it that right there shows you this situation requires help from EXPERTS in the Psychiatric field.....  It might be a chemical imbalance that can be corrected with medication.....But just doing whatever the child demands certainly is NOT the right way to handle it.......isnt that what the parent did all through the child's life and look what happened....being in denial and her living in fear is a better solution??????? 

---

@Spurt  Nobody in their right mind thinks it's a better solution, but it is entirely possible for a parent to be completely clueless as to what to do or to be utterly stuck in a holding pattern, even if they know something has to give... Keep in mind, not everybody is particularly bright or even remotely savvy... More to the point, not everybody is even minimally knowledgeable about psychiatry or about what options might be available... Most importantly, not everybody who's a parent is all that well wired themselves, and that sounds like it might have been the case here... If you ever have occasion to witness in depth any kind of social services type setting you'll be astounded by some of the things you see, stories you here and absolutely inadequate people you come across...

[Katcat1]

@CrazyKittyLvr2   First of all the mother should have talked to her doctor about his behavior when he was young.  He should have been in a controlled environment so the doctors could figure out what was wrong with him.  The mother made so many mistakes with him giving him whatever he wanted and as he got older controlling even more.  Sick.

[Silver Lining]

---

@stevieb wrote:

---

@Spurt wrote:

---

@Lali1 wrote:

---

@Spurt wrote:

---

@Lali1 wrote:

I saw that episode. I can't say that anyone in their shoes would do different. Maybe but most of us have never had to deal with such an awful situation. When it's your own child you do have denial. Problem with getting help for a child like that is sometimes the help is scary for the parent. I'd be afraid my child would be taken away or worse. It's a scary situation and I feel for the parents. 

---

@Lali1 

That's not normal behavior and if the parent was in denial they also need extensive mental help as well...... I dont care if it was my child, I'd be worried about the harm he would do to others and also to myself as the parent......

---

Of course it's not normal. People deal with what they're given. It's super easy to say I wouldn't do that when I have not walked in these peoples shoes. I've seen several of these shows and the parents know their child isn't right but don't know how to deal with it. Judging them is easy living their life not so much. 

---

@Lali1 

It's acting responsibly as a parent....

If they don't know how to deal with it that right there shows you this situation requires help from EXPERTS in the Psychiatric field.....  It might be a chemical imbalance that can be corrected with medication.....But just doing whatever the child demands certainly is NOT the right way to handle it.......isnt that what the parent did all through the child's life and look what happened....being in denial and her living in fear is a better solution??????? 

---

@Spurt  Nobody in their right mind thinks it's a better solution, but it is entirely possible for a parent to be completely clueless as to what to do or to be utterly stuck in a holding pattern, even if they know something has to give... Keep in mind, not everybody is particularly bright or even remotely savvy... More to the point, not everybody is even minimally knowledgeable about psychiatry or about what options might be available... Most importantly, not everybody who's a parent is all that well wired themselves, and that sounds like it might have been the case here... If you ever have occasion to witness in depth any kind of social services type setting you'll be astounded by some of the things you see, stories you here and absolutely inadequate people you come across...

---

@stevieb,

Oh, god, yes. Shocked, horrified, frightened, sickened, saddened, angry, puzzeled, helpless...... Social services cases are not for the faint of heart. I could write a book but I'd rather wash all of that out of my head.

[Spurt]

Here's what this expert had to say----The link to the article is shown below.  Here's his background:

James Lehman, MSW---For three decades, James Lehman worked with behaviorally troubled youth and the families and professionals who live with, educate, treat and manage them. In public schools, residential treatment centers, private schools and numerous outpatient and inpatient settings, James developed an approach to managing children and adolescents which challenges them to learn to solve social problems without hiding behind a façade of disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior.

Certainly this child acted up in school too and it seems that a School Counselor or Administrator would have contacted her too and given her options.... 

https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/should-i-call-the-police-on-my-child/

[VaBelle35]

Anne Grady is an author and speaker on resilience.

She opens her session with the words "My son was 3 the first time he tried to kill me."

When she spoke at our meeting, her son had just gone into a residential facility.

Mental illness is very misunderstood, even by pediatricians.  What she described probably sounded like a willful child and she probably was afraid they would take him away from her.

[stevieb]

---

@VaBelle35 wrote:

Anne Grady is an author and speaker on resilience.

She opens her session with the words "My son was 3 the first time he tried to kill me."

When she spoke at our meeting, her son had just gone into a residential facility.

Mental illness is very misunderstood, even by pediatricians.  What she described probably sounded like a willful child and she probably was afraid they would take him away from her.

---

It really is and there is such a wide range... There is a world of difference between a 'recalcitrant child' and one with a budding or full-blown antisocial personality disorder. There are a lot of 'troubled' children who might act out, might even occasionally become violent, but its a whole other kettle of fish when someone slits another person's throat. Clearly, the mother in this instance was an enabler, probably out of fear, fear of losing the boy and not really knowing what to do... Odds are, more effective parenting and or early intervention might have made some difference, but it's also possible that neither would have made a significant difference.