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11-08-2020 02:29 AM
Covid19 is on the rise again so, in my opinion this is NOT the year to be jumping from house to house on Thanksgiving.... it is not safe for you or the people you are visiting.... My suggestion is for you to make a Thanksgiving dinner at home including your favorite desert & watch a good movie & before you know it it will be the next day ..... I am sure you will get through it as it’s only one day & there is always next year to think about..... this is exactly what I will be doing 😊
11-08-2020 05:06 PM
I too am/have been in a similar sitution. My sister and parents all passed away around Thanksgiving and Christmas, in different years of course. I find that I am much happier NOT accepting invitations. It's painful for me to be at another's family gathering, especially if I don't know a lot of them, when I know my family is gone and I'll never share those times with them again. Maybe someone from a large family wouldn't understand or ever experience this situation but I think you should pave your own way and explain to your friend how you feel. My friends totally understand and never press me on the issue. Here's hoping for a peaceful, content holiday season.
11-08-2020 05:10 PM
@JenJenMO1971 Welcome! Definitely start your own traditions for every holiday. Once you do that, you can invite anyone who you would like to spend time with during the holidays. It is so important to put yourself first, especially now that your parents have passed. You can make the holidays anything that you want them to be.
11-08-2020 05:24 PM
Starting your own traditions sounds nice but if you haven't done it already, is it really going to happen now? You should be thankful that you have friends who care about you and want the pleasure of your company on the holidays. But I can understand that if you don't know their families, it can be awkward. Don't close any doors. I do think rather than parceling your time out an hour at a time, on holiday, it might be better if you plan a something at your home and invite a couple of people who are in your circumstances. People who don't have family or close family. That could be the beginning of a new tradition for you. It's not selfish at all but I do think, you simply do not want to go to your friend's home for the holidays.
11-08-2020 05:49 PM
Send a card in advance and thank them. Don't call on the day when they have company and dirty dishes.
Don't apologize, just thank them for the kind invitation.
I would NOT want to be with someone else's family on a holiday. That sounds awful to me--unless they all can't stand one another then you wouldn't feel like a third wheel!
It's your life. Don't let someone else live it for you, and don't live it for people who expect you to toe the mark and fulfill their wishes rather than yours. That never pans out well.
11-09-2020 11:12 AM
Have to agree with a few others who have posted about this---not safe for you or others for you to be going house to house---thats is why this beastly virus is spreading---stay at home, fix yourself a nice meal and stay safe-- its the responsible thing to do and we all need to take care of each other. there will other holidays ------maybe plan for next year holidays---but I would not let anyone out of my immediate family that I live with--visit me !!!!!
11-09-2020 12:51 PM
Be honest with your friend. Tell her exactly how you feel, and, if she's truly your friend then she'll understand and be gracious about it. If not, well, then maybe she wasn't a true friend to begin with.
It's your holiday too! You have the right to spend it however you want
11-09-2020 01:53 PM
I think you are so wise to start your own traditions.
I have always felt that if I had no family left, I would prefer to be alone, or to gather with other singles that have no one or choose not to spend the holiday with family, as opposed to walking into someone else's family gathering. I agree it would only make it seem more intense, that your family is no longer together. No matter how welcoming, it would feel like being an outsider. Gathering with others who are now on their own, would seem more of a camaraderie.
I think there is a whole world of new traditions you can begin for yourself, it's not selfish, and it's what you should do, if the alternatives friends offer just don't feel right.
11-09-2020 05:09 PM
Not selfish at all. While it's nice that someone else is thinking about you and offers to include you, you should spend the holiday doing what you want and what makes you happy.
11-09-2020 05:44 PM
Of course you are not selfish.
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