Re: Thanking a Neighbor

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

I understand your feelings and wanting to do something nice for him. It's wonderful to have such a helpful and thoughtful neighbor but sometimes I feel that it's because we're the "old folks" living next door!

I have a somewhat similar situation. Only it's the family next door with three boys who mostly do the shoveling.

When they first started helping us the boys were in elementary school and I gave them money a few times. Then their mom told me that she didn't want me to give them anything.

So a few years passed and we didn't get much snow but they still cleared the driveway & walkway even if it was a dusting. Now the oldest boy is a teen & driving and I started paying them again. I gave the cash to his mom who thanked me and told me that she would give it to her son. Today and this weekend were good examples!...we had snow all day yesterda!

I had thought about giving a gift certificate to a local pizza place but never got around to it. At Christmas this year I got them a large family sized bucket of different kinds of popcorn.

The few times that the dad cleared the drive I felt that thanking him was enough.

So you could just thank him now but over the holidays next year give him a gift just because you want to let him know how grateful you are to have such a wonderful neighbor!

UpNorthGorgy · ‎09-19-2024

My younger neighbor keeps his boat at my home under my lean to. Not at all in my way. He offered to pay me. He then offered to snow blow my drive at least 500 feet. He does a super job. My driveway is straight and asphalt which he said was easy.

I had a truck plow and did one lane to get out, never the mailbox. I would have to pay $50 or more a plow and sometimes that could be twice a week. They are going on a week cruise and he arranged for a coworker to come if needed.

I dropped off a card with $200 for their trip. Well worth it to me. I also am also grateful. I have two female neighbors who never ever ask if I need any help or if I am o.k. Right now in PT, expecting surgery. Currently kind of restricted. They both know it.

I have taken care of their cats and dogs on even on short notice. They unfortunately they know I am home alot. One gal, I even shoveled for her when gone. Not even a Thankyou. I gave her rides for a month when she totaled her car. Some people are users. Conveniently busy in the future. Good neighbors are rare.

I think if he does it often and effort with alot of heavy snow go ahead and give him a grocery gift card even though he said , No.

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

@Biftu,

I would do just what he asked. That is his gift to you given freely as a neighbor and what he wants to be.

A thank you card letting him know how much you appreciate it, maybe at a holiday time of year, and I"m sure you always thank him after you see the snow all shoveled.

So wonderful to have neighbors like this. I'm sure it gives him good feelings too, just to be able to help.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

Q-Checker · ‎05-09-2010

I like the idea of donating to a charity in honor of someone who refuses a gift in response to their kindness. Of course, it is preferable if it is their favorite charity if that is known. I like the idea of "paying it forward" and this is a version of that. I suggest that any charity be "vetted" online through Charity Watch or other reliable charity monitoring source.

KathyM23 · ‎11-20-2010

@Biftu My DH is 86 years old but still in good shape. He snow blows and shovels our long driveway and walkways and our widowed 85 year old neighbors also. Also helps with her large trash cans getring down to the alley and then returning up the driveway. She is always wanting to give him something which he absolutely does not want. He does it because it needs done, she is not able to do it.

He is very handy and helps several of our neighbors with chores.

For instance last month a 40ish y/o neighbor was using a small clipper trying to trim talll plants in front of her house. DH got his big clippers and went over and had them trimmed in no time. Would have taken her all day plus blisters.

We had a very elderly neighbor who still drove and went out to lunch every day and had several steps from porch to sidewalk then more steps from sidewalk to his truck. No handrails at all .DH and a couple of his friends built handrails from his door all the way to his truck - no charge and none wanted. It was a Thank You for your service as that man had been a purple heart receipient from World War II POW and head wound.

We have neighbors who look out for and help each others when they can.

I really do not think your neighbor wants a thank you gift. He is doing it because he can and wants to. A gift would take way from his pleasure of helping a neighbor.

Biftu · ‎02-05-2011

@KathyM23 wrote:
@Biftu My DH is 86 years old but still in good shape. He snow blows and shovels our long driveway and walkways and our widowed 85 year old neighbors also. Also helps with her large trash cans getring down to the alley and then returning up the driveway. She is always wanting to give him something which he absolutely does not want. He does it because it needs done, she is not able to do it.

He is very handy and helps several of our neighbors with chores.

For instance last month a 40ish y/o neighbor was using a small clipper trying to trim talll plants in front of her house. DH got his big clippers and went over and had them trimmed in no time. Would have taken her all day plus blisters.

We had a very elderly neighbor who still drove and went out to lunch every day and had several steps from porch to sidewalk then more steps from sidewalk to his truck. No handrails at all .DH and a couple of his friends built handrails from his door all the way to his truck - no charge and none wanted. It was a Thank You for your service as that man had been a purple heart receipient from World War II POW and head wound.

We have neighbors who look out for and help each others when they can.

I really do not think your neighbor wants a thank you gift. He is doing it because he can and wants to. A gift would take way from his pleasure of helping a neighbor.

@KathyM23 Your husband is a gem. Now that's being a good neighbor. Sounds like he gets personal satisfaction in performing these good deeds. I sure could keep him busy with all the small projects I have! You and your neighbors are blessed to have him.

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

@KathyM23,

Oh wow, your husband and neighbors building the rails, so beautiful. That brought tears.

We have a neighbor like this, he and his wife. So so thankful for them. There are genuinely good people in the world, and maybe there always will be.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

Biftu · ‎02-05-2011

@tototwo wrote:
Wonderful story - thank you for telling us! I sometimes wonder if there are any "nice" people left in our world and always happy to hear there are.

Just me, but I feel some tangible "thank you" is appropriate. Maybe a gift card for pizza? or muffins from the grocery store? Something small.

@tototwo I wonder that too sometimes and then surprise, kindness abounds. Last time that is what I did. I gave him a gift certificate to a "fancy" pizza place near us. He thanked me but then he adamantly told me to never give him anything again, he was happy to just help. I'll honor his wishes with a simple inadequate thank you.

kitcat51 · ‎09-15-2016

He told you what he wants so be a good neighbor & let it go, a heartfelt Thank You is all that's wanted-needed...I'm in the same situation so I understand wanting to do more @Biftu, I simply say Thank You & have a standing offer to help them anytime, anyway I can.