Community Chat

[CarolinaGirl88]

I love this story! He sounds like a respectful young man that was "raised right," as we say down here in the south. I truly think a simple "thank you" is enough, and continue being a good neighbor to him and his family, as I'm sure you are. If you ever have an occasion to meet his parents, I would thank them, too, for raising a kind and thoughtful man.

[JeanLouiseFinch]

I understand your feelings, but it takes away from the kindness on his part if he's getting something reciprocal from you.  It then turns into a payment of sorts and doesn't mean the same thing as the act of kindness he intended.  Allow him to be the good neighbor he wants to be.  Say thank you and move on.  

[shoptilyadropagain]

My late mom had a neighbor who shoveled her drive and sidewalk.  At the end of winter, she would give him a gift card to a small pizza chain we have in our area that everyone loves.  She appreciated his kindness and wanted to give him something.  I know he said he didn't want anything but I'd probably do something similar and give him a thank you card telling him how much you appreciate his help with the snow and enclose a restaurant or VISA gift card.  

[tends2dogs]

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@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

I understand your feelings, but it takes away from the kindness on his part if he's getting something reciprocal from you.  It then turns into a payment of sorts and doesn't mean the same thing as the act of kindness he intended.  Allow him to be the good neighbor he wants to be.  Say thank you and move on.  

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I agree with @JeanLouiseFinch .  I was in the same position with a neighbor and when I compensated her and her husband by paying for their dinner when we went out with them, she was actually offended.  She said we were neighbors and that is what neighbors do.  Lesson learned.  We have since had the chance to do many favors for them AS neighbors.

You never know, but someday they may need a favor from you.

[geezerette]

As much as I agree with your wanting to thank him with "something", I tend to agree that if he specifically told you he didn't want you to do that I would respect his wishes.

But in addition to thanking him in person when he shovels, at the end of the season I would write a very nice thank you note telling him how much his thoughtfulness means to you.

[pigletsmom2]

My dad always did this for people and I think the only thing he would have accepted was a 6 pack of beer. So your neighbor would probably take something small like that. Maybe outside of doing it right after he's shoveled. Like a random box of donuts during the year or cookies or something.

I'm glad someone helps you. When my dad became the guy who could use the help none of the younger people in the neighborhood picked up the mantle. 

[Desertdi]

I was one of the FEW children on my block ... and the neighbors EXPECTED me to do the shovelling.   NO thanks or "tips".

[Biftu]

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@Group 5 minus 1 wrote:

The thing about the cookies: in today's world there are so many of us w/food allergies and specials diets. I would ask first.

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@Group 5 minus 1  I agree.  Gone are the days of baking or cooking for others.

[Biftu]

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@CarolinaGirl88 wrote:

I love this story! He sounds like a respectful young man that was "raised right," as we say down here in the south. I truly think a simple "thank you" is enough, and continue being a good neighbor to him and his family, as I'm sure you are. If you ever have an occasion to meet his parents, I would thank them, too, for raising a kind and thoughtful man.

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@CarolinaGirl88  It's actually the father who did the shoveling.  I'm guessing he is in his 50s.  So grateful.

[Biftu]

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@shoptilyadropagain wrote:

My late mom had a neighbor who shoveled her drive and sidewalk.  At the end of winter, she would give him a gift card to a small pizza chain we have in our area that everyone loves.  She appreciated his kindness and wanted to give him something.  I know he said he didn't want anything but I'd probably do something similar and give him a thank you card telling him how much you appreciate his help with the snow and enclose a restaurant or VISA gift card.  

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@shoptilyadropagain  That was nice of your mother, but when I gave him a local restaurant gift card in the past he was adamant about not doing that again.  I have to follow his wishes and leave it at a thank you.