Community Chat

[Zoe]

This has been discussed previously in this forum  Take a look through these replies as well -- there are a lot of different perspectives. You may find them helpful to cope with your current situation.

https://community.qvc.com/t5/Community-Chat/The-Lack-Of-Thank-You/m-p/8143228/highlight/true#M199241... 

I stand by my response in that previous thread. Don't be silent. Have the conversation. If you don't have the conversations with these individuals, you are passing up a big learning opportunity for them where they can perhaps do better for the next occasion and be a kinder, more appreciative human. Plus, then you get it off your chest and aren't silently holding any negative feelings toward them.

In your specific case, however, I do think you may need to have more patience with a thank you note for this August wedding. It's just November, so missing out on a thank you note for an August wedding isn't offensive (yet). Truthfully, by etiquette, they have up to a year after a wedding to send a thank you note, though I personally feel as if that timeframe is very generous. Their timing might depend what else the couple is going through -- consolidating households / building or buying a new home, maybe even growing their family or blending families? On top of a wedding, that may be difficult.

Grant some grace but also have the conversation. Thank you notes are definitely *not* a lost art. If anyone in my life failed to send a thank you, I have the conversation, give them a chance to correct their behavior & show gratitude. If they don't, I have another discussion with them about why they won't be receiving anymore gifts from us.

ETA: more overtly include the link to the other discussion on this topic.

[ninjawife]

I believe etiquette allows brides and grooms a year to send out thank you notes.  I went to a wedding on December 30th and I got a thank you note in September. 

[They CallMe MRWILKES]

I have never, ever expected a thank you note.

I give something because I want to, not because I anticipate recognition or acknowledgement. 

How the recipient feels is their business alone.

I think that anyone fuming over a lack of acknowledgement likely has other issues going on with the giftee.  And this is just additional fuel.

[cjm61]

In all honesty, once the wedding (or any event) is over I really don't think about the gift I gave or expecting a Thank You note.

I have a couple cousins who send a thank you card for EVERYTHING and when I receive their envelope I usually have forgotten why they would be corresponding with me.

My mom was terrible with thank you notes so perhaps I don't think much about them. And really, many wedding thank you's are kind of generic. Some I have received just say "thank you for your gift", I'm not even sure they remember what I gave them. So, to answer your question @bargainsgirl , no, I don't find it rude. I just move on and look forward to our next event. 

[Witchy Woman]

@bargainsgirl 

You are not alone in not receiving a "thank you" for your gift.

I've been to a handful of weddings in the last 5 years and have NEVER gotten a thank you note.  

Call it what you will, I call it rude.  I don't lose any sleep over it, but, apparently, it's just too much trouble.  I don't understand and never will.

Sending a thank for for any gift given was something I always did.  If you get one now, it's a rarity.

[faeriemoon]

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@ninjawife wrote:

I believe etiquette allows brides and grooms a year to send out thank you notes.  I went to a wedding on December 30th and I got a thank you note in September. 

---

You are correct; the etiquette authorities (LOL) technically allow one year for brides and grooms to get their thank-yous out.  Although I believe they recommend they try to get them out within six months.

To the op, I don't really think you should give up hope of a thank you note from an August wedding.  We are still in the beginning of November.  It really hasn't been that long.

[Boomernichols]

@bargainsgirl One would think that if you send a request, you could at least reciprocate and send a thank you!

[millieshops]

@Franell   I'm in my 80's and don't feel in the least rude when I email my thank you for a gift.   I send a written note if I have more to say than just my thanks.

[Regal Bee]

Thank you notes, along with manners, have all but disappeared.

We recently gave a large amount of money to our church and haven't heard one word about it. Nothing. We had to check our bank statement to see whether it was received or not.

Shocking! 

[U of M Go Blue]

I have been to two showers where they pass around plain envelopes for you to address to yourself.  Both times I never received them.....and I did all of the work!