Re: Thank you cards

I am still oxox · ‎03-09-2010

@BarbieDollToo wrote:
Like it or not, it's pretty much a given that whenever I see a post started by the OP it ends up being polarizing and she ends up being defensive when she receives replies that she doesn't like. When other posters try to give some possible solutions or opinions, she back tracks a bit. Can't win.

Comments like this is the rason I stopped starting threads for several months

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.

50Mickey · ‎05-21-2010

I wouldn't worry about some of the responses. You simply asked a question about thank you notes. The responses morphed into something totally different.

Thank you notes are always in style and always appreciated. My take on what happened with your neighbor is this. The child probably didn't understand why she was receiving a gift. Neither I nor my children were given gifts for First Holy Communion. You giving this little girl a gift was a lovely gesture. Her mom or dad should have told her that she should thank you for your thoughtfulness by either writing a note with their help or going in person to thank you. End of story.

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@Lucky Charm wrote:
@KKJ wrote:
I think in the OP's defense and reading her first post, she's just asking if others have experienced this and if thank-you's have gone by the wayside nowadays.
The subject has been brought up countless times over the years. Countless.

OP'S here and has seen the threads, I'm sure. Countless times.

Honestly, at first, I thought she was asking if pearl earrings were out of style in her first post.

But that it was a First Holy Communion present that her husband handed over to her in a bag, not sure what he said to her when she took the bag. Maybe she had no idea what it was, if he wasn't clear.

I made my First Holy Communion in the spring of 2nd grade, at seven years old. I can only hope I sent a thank you card, but would need my mother's prompting, I'm sure.

It's very nice the mother watered the plants May and June for OP. Don't know how they made it through July and August! I have to water my houseplants every 3-4 days no matter what.

@Lucky Charm Agree the Thank You card issue never ends around here.

How many times will posters suggest asking the recipient or parents if the gift was received.

I remember when the OP asked about giving the girl a gift for her First Communion.

The OP has seen the mother for several months. There were opportunities to ask if the daughter liked her earrings, regardless of the lack of a thank you.

Plus she never asked her husband what transpired when he brought the gift over there. There's the first problem.

Handwritten thank you cards, phone than you, email thank you, etc. are the norm today.

Yet if nothing is received I feel it is ok to ask, tactfully, about the receipt of the gift.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

@Cakers3 Exactly. If I know the recipient got the gift (i.e., I handed it to them), then I'm fine with no additional thanks.

The problem is when something is sent via mail, delivery service etc. Then I do sometimes wonder if they actually got it if I hear nothing.

Recently, I sent my grandniece books via Amazon. I got a delivery notice that it was left "at the front desk." Since they live in a private home, I was concerned that it might have been misdelivered. So I texted my SIL to see if her granddaughter got it - and I explained why I was asking - email from Amazon. She, immediately chastised me for expecting a thank you from an 8 year old child immediately and texted that one would be forthcoming (I never got it, but that was not the point in the first place). I texted her back that - as I'd already noted, I was just worried it was misdelivered. No additional response.

On other occasions, when I have sent flowers and heard nothing, when I asked I found out that the gift card had been omitted or they were never received - once at a rehab faciliity and my call enabled us to track them down after a couple of days (despite the card, they were being enjoyed at the nurses station).

So sometimes it pays to ask and sometimes it just makes the recipient think you are shaming them or something. Hard to know what to do.

wagirl · ‎03-09-2010

I don't get thank you cards much--except--- I am looking at one on my bulletin board, above my computer, from my 2 great nephews--both teenagers, from last year, thanking me for the gift cards I gave them !! How about that!! Now both of them wrote on the same card but it just tickled me that they did. I don't see them much--maybe 4 or 5 times a year . Their mom, my niece, learned from her mom, my SIL to write thank you cards--so that tradition do still exists . Normally, all thank yous are given in person. But a few people have never acknowledged that they even got my gifts--prob won't be on my gift list this year . Just need a simple--thank you!

KKlim · ‎06-20-2015

@Isobel Archer…I agree w/ your view on gift situations that u described. Your sister in law sounds very rough (lol). I would have told her not to chastise you + that u were simply asking because u took the time to ship a gift ( and spend money) and u want to make sure your grandniece or her mom received it. Remember, There are porch pirates nowadays also…

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

If someone took the time and money to send me a gift, I send a thank you note. I have taught my daughter the same. She receives gifts for Christmas, birthdays and when she graduated high school from friends of mine and she sent a thank you note to each of them. Even my friend thanked my daughter for sending a thank you note saying she doesn't see that very often, even from her own family and it's apprecciated. I know times have changed but in my book it's still the right (and polite) thing to do.