Strong women

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

It seems that we have differing opinions as to what constitutes a "strong" women. I have always thought that even calling a women "strong" is outdated. We don't call men "strong."

Be that as it may, my idea of a strong woman is one who is not fearful when it comes to speaking her mind, doesn't allow her gender to dictate how she lives her life, tries to be competent and independent, and makes life choices based on desire rather than fitting into a particular gender-related box.

This issue arose for me after reading a post today that indicated a preference for a strong woman who was not overly aggressive or assertive. To me, those two adjectives, when applied to women, are subtle reminders of our "place" in life: don't be too loud or forceful because it is not becoming for a woman.

That's my take. What's yours?

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

QVCkitty1 · ‎05-23-2015

@suzyQ3 wrote:
It seems that we have differing opinions as to what constitutes a "strong" women. I have always thought that even calling a women "strong" is outdated. We don't call men "strong."

Be that as it may, my idea of a strong woman is one who is not fearful when it comes to speaking her mind, doesn't allow her gender to dictate how she lives her life, tries to be competent and independent, and makes life choices based on desire rather than fitting into a particular gender-related box.

This issue arose for me after reading a post today that indicated a preference for a strong woman who was not overly aggressive or assertive. To me, those two adjectives, when applied to women, are subtle reminders of our "place" in life: don't be too loud or forceful because it is not becoming for a woman.

That's my take. What's yours?

@suzyQ3 , My take is much like yours. I cringed when I read that line about being overly aggressive and assertive. That attitude is out of date and sad.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

deepwaterdotter · ‎03-09-2010

I have heard men referred to as being "weak". In my former workplace, a male manager was replaced due to being "a weak manager".

Alison Wonderland · ‎02-05-2018

I agree with you.

And yes, I frequently see women being called bossy or another B-word when they're assertive, something seen as a good quality in men but a bad quality in women.

I recently heard an episode of On the Media on NPR, where they had several guests speaking on interesting issues that affected women. One was about algorithms and how they're usually written by or geared to prefer attributes we usually see as belonging to white men, which can have a detrimental effect on women and people of color. That guest was Cathy O'Neil, mathematician and author of Weapons of Math Destruction.

Another story was about radio and the way it was set up over 100 years ago. The frequencies used were those that worked best for the deeper voices of men and which made women sound tinny, distorted, and - of course - shrill.

It was fascinating. The On the Media episode is called The Disagreement is the Point. The audio and transcripts are available at the WYNC Studios site. I would link here, but the lead story was about politics, so I can't.

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

@suzyQ3 wrote:
It seems that we have differing opinions as to what constitutes a "strong" women. I have always thought that even calling a women "strong" is outdated. We don't call men "strong."

Be that as it may, my idea of a strong woman is one who is not fearful when it comes to speaking her mind, doesn't allow her gender to dictate how she lives her life, tries to be competent and independent, and makes life choices based on desire rather than fitting into a particular gender-related box.

This issue arose for me after reading a post today that indicated a preference for a strong woman who was not overly aggressive or assertive. To me, those two adjectives, when applied to women, are subtle reminders of our "place" in life: don't be too loud or forceful because it is not becoming for a woman.

That's my take. What's yours?

@suzyQ3 I agree with on all your points, and I also do not like the term "strong woman." As far as overly aggressive or assertive, I don't like those characteristics in a woman OR a man. But I hope that society will slowly get to the point that in the work place, all are treated equal no matter what body parts you were born with (or changed.)

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

beckyb1012 · ‎03-09-2010

One of the best compliments I ever received was from my ex husband after our divorce in 1999. He told a mutual friend of ours who passed his comment on to me that "the next time I marry the woman will NOT be a strong independent woman." I did not see the other thread but that is just so wrong if that is what that poster believes.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."

newname0 · ‎06-20-2015

Who do you have in mind when you say this? I can think of one woman:

or if you like:

strong women.jpg

GingerPeach · ‎03-12-2010

I admire strength in people. I tend to equate strength, in part, with getting things done as well as having what used to be called "personal power," which is not control over others but "control," if you will, over oneself.

And like you, @suzyQ3 , I think putting limits on the amount or kind of strength is not appropriate, particularly when it comes to an attempt to keep someone in a place someone else has defined for them. At least, I hope I'm not putting words in your mouth.

We seem to still be in a place in history during which women are playing catch-up, making it even more egregious to place limits on how women are "supposed" to behave.

[was Homegirl] Love to be home . . . thus the screen name. Joined 2003.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

I'd say, a strong woman weathers the storms of life with grace, dignity, and yet still does no harm by her mouth. What she says. A strong woman doesn't have a bad mouth. She can be honest, without taking anyone out.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

A strong woman to me is someone who is confident enough in herself, the skills she brings to the work place and her own moral compass, not to be the victim. IMO there is nothing wrong with the word strong, it's just a word and men are stronger physically than most women and God knows they don't think the same way most women do. Women have been working around that fact forever and I don't see it changing any time soon. I think we need to raise our sons to be kind and gentle and not combative from the cradle.