Community Chat

[jubilant]

Oops! Hit a wrong button.

I have found after being here for several years...that you only argue or debate your point for so many posts.  Set a number and stop.  I usually end up around 3 or a few more posts.  When someone else (or I) start to take an ugly turn, I know it's best to stop. After that....you're just on a road to nowhere and I prefer to go somewhere!  

[Drythe]

---

@Juniebugz wrote:

---

@IamMrsG wrote:

---

@Drythe wrote:

@Moonchilde

I think you are saying it would be more interesting (informative) if we could have discussions that didn't turn into ad hominem mud slings.  If so, I agree.

As you said, it would be great to participate in some of those. On the other hand, if you know me, if someone wants to sling mud they're not going to come out clean!

---

Been there, done that.  

---

Lol. Me too but not always an admirable trait.

"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."

George Bernard Shaw

---

@Juniebugz

I 'learned' that too.  

[MyGirlsMom]

---

@Drythe wrote:

---

@Juniebugz wrote:

---

@IamMrsG wrote:

---

@Drythe wrote:

@Moonchilde

I think you are saying it would be more interesting (informative) if we could have discussions that didn't turn into ad hominem mud slings.  If so, I agree.

As you said, it would be great to participate in some of those. On the other hand, if you know me, if someone wants to sling mud they're not going to come out clean!

---

Been there, done that.  

---

Lol. Me too but not always an admirable trait.

"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."

George Bernard Shaw

---

@Juniebugz

I 'learned' that too.  

---

***

I'm still in the learning process.  Sometimes, I slip off the wagon and have to right my tiara. 

[deepwaterdotter]

---

@SaRina wrote:

IMO, some of you are being a bit hard on the OP.  If you look at the opening of the OP, it begins with "Just my thoughts-"  She is sharing her thoughts with everyone -- not dictating, not lecturing, but rather suggesting, even asking based upon her observations.  Her OP is well intended at any rate.

I know of one glaring example of how posters respond negatively to someone here each time she starts a thread.... just because they don't like her.  I have to admit, it bothers me.  I try my best not to let anyone's past threads color my opinion for that person's future threads.  If I find that difficult to do, I do my best to just pass it on by instead of responding.

 So do I.

---

[catwhisperer]

Just my opinion, but I think we all need to keep in mind that we are dealing with a lot of different personalities/opinions/ages/cultures/etc. on these forums. If we don't like how someone is coming across on a thread, maybe it's time to move on, ignore the offending comments, and not chastise/analyze/criticize/etc.  I am guilty of doing these very things, but am trying to do better. Can't we find a way to keep the peace somehow?

[Moonchilde]

@IamMrsG and @SaRina, thank you.

I too re-read my post and reiterated the "these are just my thoughts" opening, and know that my subsequent actual words do not reflect what I'm accused of having said or meant. Some of this is undoubtedly personal and some is just posters who habitually twist many posters' meanings, not just mine.

Posters came in for the attack on my post where they would not have done so with someone else.  The major reason is touched upon in Drythe's subsequent post. I have not started that many threads so there have not been that many opportunities ;-)

Even if *in my opinion* a poster repeatedly demonstrates traits over time that ultimately mean I do not like them, I don't comment (negatively or otherwise) on everything they say all over the forum about *them* personally, and having nothing to do with the topic of the thread. Have I, "ever"? Wouldn't be surprised. But "ever" isn't daily or weekly. I'll settle for rarely :-)

[Moonchilde]

---

@Drythe wrote:

@Moonchilde

I think you are saying it would be more interesting (informative) if we could have discussions that didn't turn into ad hominem mud slings.  If so, I agree.

As you said, it would be great to participate in some of those. On the other hand, if you know me, if someone wants to sling mud they're not going to come out clean!

---

@Drythe, it would be great if we could have more discussions without so many assumptions about people and their motivations - or if we still have those opinions and assumptions, if we held them privately and let the discussion go on with the benefit of the doubt.

I have come to change my mind, in whole or in part, about several posters, and we heart each other when we agree, which we sometimes do.

My whole point was, post in the moment, to what is being said *now*, not what was said last month in an argument about an entirely different subject. And don't bring up last month just to bring it up.

And yes, if someone comes out swingin' at me, I'm not going to roll over or curl up in a ball. 

[Moonchilde]

---

@chickenbutt wrote:

Sooo, I saw at least one post that basically said that inappropriate behavior is ok but expressing one's opinion about it is not.  So, if you don't like the inappropriate behavior you should just leave?   But you certainly should not say anything about it.  Just go.

I'm finding that I cannot connect with that.

I don't see a thing wrong with discussing it.  But to imply that the only 'ok' part is the bad behavior of carrying grudges around from thread to thread, etc - I don't know.  I'm trying but I just cannot understand that notion.

---

@chickenbutt, IMO part of the reasons I was attacked so strongly is that the behavior is okay, should be allowed, what's wrong with it, etc. by those who attacked, and because I *mentioned* it.

I never set myself up as perfect in the OP, and I never claimed not to have "ever" done anything that wasn't perfect forum behavior, but the comeback was to twist what I said, to completely re-write it, turn it upside down, and then to chastise me for claiming what I never claimed.

Yes, absolutely, some posters were genuinely unsure of my point or motives (I have no motive), but more did what they felt necessary to deflect attention away from their own behavior.

[Moonchilde]

---

@jubilant wrote:

Oops! Hit a wrong button.

I have found after being here for several years...that you only argue or debate your point for so many posts.  Set a number and stop.  I usually end up around 3 or a few more posts.  When someone else (or I) start to take an ugly turn, I know it's best to stop. After that....you're just on a road to nowhere and I prefer to go somewhere!  

---

This is very much what I try to do. My limit's about the same as yours.