Re: Spouses that Give In

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

@Jackaranda wrote:
My two cents: It might work for them. As for my husband and I we compromise. Sometimes I let him have his way and sometimes he let's me have my way and sometimes we both give in a little on the same situation. She may be really easy going and not care about a lot of things but if she wants a party he should want her to have it.

It doesn't sound like compromise to me. Not when he is making all the decisions without even consulting. That's dictating. But it's her battle to fight or not.

I agree that the sister should just throw the part. :-)

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

Sadly, it's a huge red flag that he doesn't even consult her over many things that affect them both. I don't think any spouse would be happy with that. I agree that OP should stay out of it.

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

@SeaMaiden wrote:
Married 35 years because spouse gives in. I think one spouse needs to be that person or that is why marriage's fail. If you have two people butting heads constantly, the marriage will probably fail.

I agree that compromise is the key but having just ONE person in that partnership being the one that ALWAYS has to compromise is not good either.

To the OP. There is nothing you can really do as you know but I can understand why you are concerned. My family is close and we talk about things without getting offended so if it was my sister I would ask her if she thought or if she resented that she was always the one making the compromises. For most people even if they hate confrontation, being the only one that compromises in a relationship doesn't last very long because they want their needs met once in a while too, they want to be heard and feel appreciated. If that isn't happening I don't think you can honestly say you are in a loving and healthy relationship.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Cranberries wrote:
What is his exact reason for saying no about the party? That is a big piece of the puzzle that is missing. Some will say his reason doesn't matter, I think it does. Doesn't mean he's necessarily controlling her or the situation. Maybe there is a legit reason.

Sounds like the story is just her side of it. Nobody was there to know what really transpired in the conversation.

It sounds to me as though the story is just the OP's side of it.

Their marriage, their business. As I said in my very long post upthread, what works for one couple may not work for another. Only the two people in the marriage know what makes them happy. Unless someone is really being harmed, it's no one else's business.

KentuckyWoman · ‎03-13-2010

Seriously, marriage takes a lot of work. A lot of work. Sometimes you compromise and sometimes you stand your ground. Stay out of it and let them figure it out. I hope they will be fine.