Spouses that Give In

JBKO · ‎12-16-2011

My sister is 26 and recently got married back in August. I have to say that she often lets her husband have his way. He doesn't even consult her a lot of the time. For instance, he decided where their honeymoon would be without really talking to her. She wanted a beach vacation and basically told her that they were going to X city. On top of that, he picked a hotel by noisy construction to save money. She is graduating in May and wants to have a small party but he doesn't want to. I know many of you will say it is none of my business--I know that and I also know that we can all learn from this. What do you think? I've never really had a serious relationship but when I did, we always compromised.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Goldengate8361 · ‎01-27-2014

Nobody reading this can make a global statement about the quality of your sisters marriage. That's between the two of them. That said, we all know that people marry the wrong people all the time....I hope that's not the case with your sister.

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

My two cents: It might work for them. As for my husband and I we compromise. Sometimes I let him have his way and sometimes he let's me have my way and sometimes we both give in a little on the same situation. She may be really easy going and not care about a lot of things but if she wants a party he should want her to have it.

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

tedEbear · ‎03-22-2015

Give her a party!! Never mind asking him, just find a good date and start planning-------tedEbear

september · ‎03-09-2010

@Jackaranda wrote:
My two cents: It might work for them. As for my husband and I we compromise. Sometimes I let him have his way and sometimes he let's me have my way and sometimes we both give in a little on the same situation. She may be really easy going and not care about a lot of things but if she wants a party he should want her to have it.

Very well said. A person outside the relationship, might look at is as "giving in". I see it as compromising.

Perhaps a family member could throw a small party for the graduate?

sissel · ‎08-13-2010

It's a new marriage & guess he is trying to save money or whatever. It may take time for her to voice her opinion but if they have communication & respect then things will settle down. I have been married over 35yrs. I remember in the beginning my husband (his Mom did everything) we both worked & on weekends was washing & cleaning for the next week, he said can you make me a sandwich, between all the chores I said OK well the sandwich was 1 piece of ham & 1 piece of cheese. He looked at it & said this isn't a sandwich. I said I make it the way I like it, from then on he makes his own sandwiches LOL Oh she will figure it out. Actions are better than words.

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

@tedEbear wrote:
Give her a party!! Never mind asking him, just find a good date and start planning-------tedEbear

I so agree!

Even if you can only manage a lunch for the two of you or a girl's night with pizza and cheap wine!

Celebrate her success!

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

Ha! You gotta be clever, and let him "think" he got his own way........

♥Surface of the Sun♥

Deb1010yetagain · ‎12-09-2013

Best advice to you is to stay out of it! Let them figure their way thru. Your sister is ultimately responsible for her happiness. Don't go instigating trouble by making an issue out of your early observations. You can be there when and if she comes to you for advice and support but otherwise occupy yourself elsewhere in your own life.