Community Chat

[raven-blackbird]

priorities seem a tad mixed up.....................................raven

[irishmama5]

All 4 of our sons played hockey they started skating when they were 3 and hockey at age 7. All played at higher levels all played right through college and all play on mens travel teams. The most number of on ice practice a week 3 and 1 night of off ice conditioning. The boys played year round. We had priorities school grades had to be maintained, CCD Classes once a week. 1 son went to a private Hs tuition free and 2 were lucky to get a partial college scholarship all do to hockey. We NEVER asked any teachers for less homework or special favors JMO There is no better sport than hockey. Sometimes there would be 15 practices a week, 10 games a weekend in 3 different states. I am typing as I'm watching the Stanley Cup Finals. Your nephews parents better get their priorities straight. I don't know the level your young nephew is playing

[Financialgrl]

Doesn't surprise me - never a teacher but after I retired I worked in a HS main office. I was shocked at what passes for parents and even more shocked at what school officials cave into so as not to offend parents or avoid a lawsuit. Without specifics I'll just leave it at that as well.

[CelticCrafter]

He's in 4th grade and she's thinking he will get a college scholarship?

He's got 8 years to go and a lot can happen in those 8 years.

[haddon9]

My kids are both in their mid twenties now but when my son was in elementary school I was amazed at how intense some parents were concerning after school sports! My son did little league intramural baseball which he enjoyed but some of the kids participated in all sorts of travel teams and their families acted as if that were the most important thing. Some assumed their kids were going to get college scholarships.

Unfortunately by the time many of those kids reach high school they were just too burned out and didn't want to participate in the sport anymore. Burn out happens far more frequently than those who do get scholarships. Plus many good colleges (though not all) still expect good grades to get a sports scholarship.

So few will get a sports scholarship and even fewer will get into the pros. It's like taking acting lessons when you're a kid assuming that you will become a movie star...not likely to happen. At least if you have a good education you can find a good self supporting job/career. I find it frankly amazing that the parents of your nephew think it's Ok for him to skip homework which is sending the message that not being educated is fine with them.

[jubilant]

I see both sides of the coin here. I do think some parents try to live their lives through their kids. I don't think sports should ever take priority over home work. On the other hand, I am not a big fan of too much home work for young children. It causes a fair amount of kids to resent school....especially if they are not given to "book learning". It also encourages some teachers to "pass the buck onto the kids" if you know what I mean.

Kids learn differently and each parent has to take that child's personality into consideration. We are not all alike. My son literally refused to do long homework assignments in grade school. After a long day at school, he had "had it". One day he looked at me and said....."When Dad comes home from work....his day is done. He can relax and enjoy....why can't I? What do you say to a kid like that??? Honestly, I didn't think he was all wrong. If these are loving parents...and it sounds like they are....then there just might be things you aren't seeing going on here.

[haddon9]

On 6/8/2014 jubilant said:

I see both sides of the coin here. I do think some parents try to live their lives through their kids. I don't think sports should ever take priority over home work. On the other hand, I am not a big fan of too much home work for young children. It causes a fair amount of kids to resent school....especially if they are not given to "book learning". It also encourages some teachers to "pass the buck onto the kids" if you know what I mean.

Kids learn differently and each parent has to take that child's personality into consideration. We are not all alike. My son literally refused to do long homework assignments in grade school. After a long day at school, he had "had it". One day he looked at me and said....."When Dad comes home from work....his day is done. He can relax and enjoy....why can't I? What do you say to a kid like that??? Honestly, I didn't think he was all wrong. If these are loving parents...and it sounds like they are....then there just might be things you aren't seeing going on here.

I agree that not all kids are the same and some have different learning styles.It's extra difficult when your child has one of the different learning styles that don't fit into the routine and norm.

However I would say that dad is all grown up and his responsibility is to do a good job at work. He's rewarded by getting paid. Your job is to do your best in school and since you are still growing up part of doing well in school is learning and and going over work that you learned in school by doing homework. You are rewarded with your grades and even more importantly by what you've learned. Some professions do require bringing home "homework" even though your dad's does not.

[stevieb]

Oh yea, 'little league' parents... where everyone's dream is that THEIR little precious has what it takes to make it big... It really is unfortunate that these 'parents' don't see the disconnect between permitting their son to back burner school and homework now, for a not very likely college scholarship in the future, when, even were it to happen, the foundation needed for college success will have been missed. The child, of course, is the one to suffer.

[nun ya]

Maybe they should look into homeschooling him, then they can dictate what homework he has everyday.

I couldn't imagine asking the school to lessen homework because Johnny has sports. What about all the other kids who plays sport or have band practice, soccer etc ? That's life, if you can't juggle it, then don't play.

[jubilant]

On 6/8/2014 haddon9 said:

On 6/8/2014 jubilant said:

I see both sides of the coin here. I do think some parents try to live their lives through their kids. I don't think sports should ever take priority over home work. On the other hand, I am not a big fan of too much home work for young children. It causes a fair amount of kids to resent school....especially if they are not given to "book learning". It also encourages some teachers to "pass the buck onto the kids" if you know what I mean.<br /> <br /> Kids learn differently and each parent has to take that child's personality into consideration. We are not all alike. My son literally refused to do long homework assignments in grade school. After a long day at school, he had "had it". One day he looked at me and said....."When Dad comes home from work....his day is done. He can relax and enjoy....why can't I? What do you say to a kid like that??? Honestly, I didn't think he was all wrong. If these are loving parents...and it sounds like they are....then there just might be things you aren't seeing going on here.

I agree that not all kids are the same and some have different learning styles.It's extra difficult when your child has one of the different learning styles that don't fit into the routine and norm.

However I would say that dad is all grown up and his responsibility is to do a good job at work. He's rewarded by getting paid. Your job is to do your best in school and since you are still growing up part of doing well in school is learning and and going over work that you learned in school by doing homework. You are rewarded with your grades and even more importantly by what you've learned. Some professions do require bringing home "homework" even though your dad's does not.

I understand and agree. I did not let my son get by with not doing homework. I ended up letting him have dinner and several hours of playtime first. With my daughter she had to do it when she first got home. She loved school and books so no problem there. We live in farmland USA so when our son joined Future Farmers of America and was able to leave school (and count working on a farm as a grade) it made such a big difference. His grades improved and he graduated with decent grades. I just remember how stressful it was for him and for us and all the arguing that went on all those grade school years. I have often wondered.....was all the pleading and begging and fighting worth it? Today, he is a responsible hard working man who makes a good living for his family so ,somehow, we got through it all. I just wish our schools were more into promoting different learning styles and placing children where they will do their best according to "how" they learn. I also thought that maybe these parents could be facing similar issues. Not that they should give up....but I could certainly understand how tempting it would be. It can be such a struggle with kids that hate school. Loving parents try desperately to find that magic formula and I kind of felt that is what might be going on here.