Community Chat

[Rainbows and Roses]

So nice of you to put this on Viewpoints.....I hope people will open and read this that need it........there are always red flags but people mistake them for someone being overly concerned......we marry or date at the level of our selfesteem.........so this is one reason many women and men are abused......it is what they are used to or they don't have self confidence in being alone or with themselves. Great topic. I hope this helps someone. Because, the people that CONTROL and are JEALOUS and RAGE in ANGER do not change without help and really wanting the desire to change. Always look and see how the man treats his mother..........if he disrespects her he will you also.

[mgm2]

Thanks for the thread.

March is Woman's History month.

We all can learn from this information even if it doesn't apply to us, we can pass it on.

[Marienkaefer2]

Yes, this is spot on.

[betteb]

I can tell you from personal experience (many years ago) that this is spot on.

If any of you are involved with someone like this, run!

If any of you know someone who is involved with someone like this, please, let them know you will help them.

[mgm2]

I just read this on facebook, it's from a women's shelter:

Domestic Violence, Se-u al Assault, and any serious crime can change how you feel. Living with and through these situations can be considered a traumatic event.

As a result of a traumatic event, a person may experience intense feelings of anger, vivid dreams, nightmares or flashbacks of the event and feelings of fear and insecurity. Some people may have feelings of being permanently broken and don’t believe their life will ever improve. They may have trouble concentrating. Others may experience a sense of feeling disconnected and in shock or disbelief that the world still goes on around them.

These are all normal feelings for someone who has experienced a traumatic event.

If you have experienced a traumatic event, feel emotionally distressed and feel as if your life has changed, there is help for you.

You may want to talk to an advocate about the anxiety, and emotion distress you may be experiencing.

[FUTURE]

I 110% agree with those points. Have seen it in others many times.

[GCR18]

My sister lived through 25 years of this. I used to talk with her about it, but got no where. She's been out for seven months and asked why she didn't see it and why nobody told her...

[RoughDraft]

Lets not forget there are female abusers too. They may not be as prevalent, but they are out there. Men are often too ashamed to come forward. A friend of mine did her thesis on this subject and it was eye opening.

[conlt]

Please don't blame the abused. This is not as simple as Love is Blind. I lived it. I was abused by a sister as a child and witnessed my father verbally abuse my mother. When I finally fell in love, I did not see the signs. These people become very isolated and are embarrassed and afraid to ask for help. In my case, I did not know how to get out and I was financially secure but I owned the house. I needed to get him out. It took much work with the local shelter, counseling, some police officers who told me that they were worried about my safety, and a very understanding attorney who helped me get out. Then it was hard to stay out. The abused is in love with a fantasy and "only if I did this maybe he would be happy". This subject is very difficult and complicated for the person who is living it. I could have ended up severely injured or dead. This is no joke, believe me.

[Rainbows and Roses]

Conlt..........I am so so sorry and my first husband was an abuser and you are right they make us feel like we have done something wrong.......back when it happened to me in 1977-1979.......there was no law to help me......I would call the police and they would stand out in the road and if he killed me then they could do something.......so embarrassing being beat up and cops watching but they were not allowed to come on property because this law had not passed......so many times I had to say I fell off a horse or down the steps or I was clumsy.........when I got out I was out and I don't allow any man to abuse me even in words.......really I don't date and I don't even want to date.