Community Chat

[Cakers3]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@Kitty Galore wrote:

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@Effie54 wrote:

While it's nice to have separate checks.....we never ask for that. It appears cheap. Unless the wait staff automatically give separate checks, we just split the bill. 

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@Effie54  Actually that is how we both feel ,  it appears cheap  also it appears as if we aren't very good friends .   The 3 of us don't drink only him,  so it isn't that.   Maybe it's just we don't care what others are ordering we enjoy dinning out with friends and family we split the check with everyone else we dine with even amounts to each couple .  We do not go over the bill and itemize what a each person  ate, that's crazy !   

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@Kitty Galore 

If you have been friends with  her since forever is this the first time all four met for dinner???

Since her husband is the only one who drinks perhaps he did not expect others to pay for his alcohol.  I'd give him credit.

Overall I see nothing cheap or ill-mannered or whatever.

People can choose to share the bill or not.

It is not a major issue. *shrug*

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@Cakers3   @Kitty Galore 

Finally!   LOL   

Cakers, I have been reading every post, and wondering why no one asked how this person could be a friend for decades, apparently, and Kitty never shared a meal with them before this?  How is that even possible?  

While it may be a generational thing, the ONLY way splitting the bill works long term is if two things are constant:

1- No one "abuses" the bill-splitting choice and over-orders food or alcohol, and 

2- All parties have enough discretionary income that an extra $20 or $100 paid in to the bill doesn't matter to them. 

I think the most considerate thing is to have separate checks be the norm.  You (usually) just don't have intimate access to everyone's finances.  Don't create hardships for others because you don't wish to be "bothered" with dealing with money.  IMO, that's VERY rude.

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@Tinkrbl44   It was the first thing that stood out to me. 

I don't care who splits checks or asks for individual checks but as usual along come those calling others cheap etc.  There is no right or wrong way.

Opinions blah blah blah. One can post her own experience without putting down those who do not dine out the same way.

I agree with the poster who mentioned orders and checks are computerized and DH and I see this now. Some places even have QR codes - scan and place the order yourselves. Of course there are still regular menus and servers.

[Cakers3]

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@haddon9 wrote:

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My husband has a friend and wife who never allowed us to pay for anything.  He is very generous.  But, this makes us uncomfortable.

We once went on a 10 day vacation with them to Cape Cod and Bar Harbor, Maine.  I suggested, each couple place $1000 cash into a purse and use that for food.  It worked out well.  Everyone ordered what they wanted to and their was no fighting over the check. I paid for the food and tip from the purse.

There was money left over after we came home, so the other lady and I took half each.  It was the perfect way to handle going out to eat with friends...no fighting and we all felt it was fair.

Some people take advantage of others when splitting the check 50/50 which as le

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@Carmie My brother in law does this as well.  He insists on paying for everyones' meal every time we go out!  While it's very nice & generous of him, it also makes me a bit uncomfortable. 

He's very wealthy and has his own business now since he "retired" from a major corporation.  He claims it's a business "write-off" when we go out to eat.

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@haddon9  So he is a tax cheat.🤪

[haddon9]

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@haddon9 wrote:

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@

My husband has a friend and wife who never allowed us to pay for anything.  He is very generous.  But, this makes us uncomfortable.

We once went on a 10 day vacation with them to Cape Cod and Bar Harbor, Maine.  I suggested, each couple place $1000 cash into a purse and use that for food.  It worked out well.  Everyone ordered what they wanted to and their was no fighting over the check. I paid for the food and tip from the purse.

There was money left over after we came home, so the other lady and I took half each.  It was the perfect way to handle going out to eat with friends...no fighting and we all felt it was fair.

Some people take advantage of others when splitting the check 50/50 which as le

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@Carmie My brother in law does this as well.  He insists on paying for everyones' meal every time we go out!  While it's very nice & generous of him, it also makes me a bit uncomfortable. 

He's very wealthy and has his own business now since he "retired" from a major corporation.  He claims it's a business "write-off" when we go out to eat.

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@haddon9  So he is a tax cheat.🤪

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@Cakers3 Not if we discuss taxes and finances.  He is our financial advisor.

[Kitty Galore]

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@Kitty Galore wrote:

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@Effie54 wrote:

While it's nice to have separate checks.....we never ask for that. It appears cheap. Unless the wait staff automatically give separate checks, we just split the bill. 

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@Effie54  Actually that is how we both feel ,  it appears cheap  also it appears as if we aren't very good friends .   The 3 of us don't drink only him,  so it isn't that.   Maybe it's just we don't care what others are ordering we enjoy dinning out with friends and family we split the check with everyone else we dine with even amounts to each couple .  We do not go over the bill and itemize what a each person  ate, that's crazy !   

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@Kitty Galore 

If you have been friends with  her since forever is this the first time all four met for dinner???

Since her husband is the only one who drinks perhaps he did not expect others to pay for his alcohol.  I'd give him credit.

Overall I see nothing cheap or ill-mannered or whatever.

People can choose to share the bill or not.

It is not a major issue. *shrug*

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@Cakers3   @Kitty Galore 

Finally!   LOL   

Cakers, I have been reading every post, and wondering why no one asked how this person could be a friend for decades, apparently, and Kitty never shared a meal with them before this?  How is that even possible?  

While it may be a generational thing, the ONLY way splitting the bill works long term is if two things are constant:

1- No one "abuses" the bill-splitting choice and over-orders food or alcohol, and 

2- All parties have enough discretionary income that an extra $20 or $100 paid in to the bill doesn't matter to them. 

I think the most considerate thing is to have separate checks be the norm.  You (usually) just don't have intimate access to everyone's finances.  Don't create hardships for others because you don't wish to be "bothered" with dealing with money.  IMO, that's VERY rude.

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@Tinkrbl44   It was the first thing that stood out to me. 

I don't care who splits checks or asks for individual checks but as usual along come those calling others cheap etc.  There is no right or wrong way.

Opinions blah blah blah. One can post her own experience without putting down those who do not dine out the same way.

I agree with the poster who mentioned orders and checks are computerized and DH and I see this now. Some places even have QR codes - scan and place the order yourselves. Of course there are still regular menus and servers.

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I did address this previously I guess you really didn't read EVERY post as you stated !!   So instead of posting "I wonder why ".  You would have that answer .  

[Sunshine Kate]

I would rather have separate checks, it's easier.  I think most people do this, never thought much about it.

[4kitties]

After reading the responses where some have had bad experiences in splitting the check, I am happy we have always opted for separate checks!

[Kitty Galore]

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@nascarfan wrote:
The only time we ask for separate checks is when we dine with those who are stingy tippers. That is a deal breaker for me.

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@nascarfan   I get that we dislike stingy tippers .  We always tip generously ,  waiting tables is hard work and good service deserves a great tip .  We frequent this one particular restaurant,  very nice local place with only 2 wait staff ,  it's a small place .  Anyways we have gotten to know each waiter very well ,  service is beyond great !   We always included a more then usual 20% there.  At Christmas we give each a card with money plus our usual tip .  Good service deserves a good tip.  I feel if you can't afford the tip stay home !

[lynnie61]

@Venezia   I have two jobs. I serve one day a week.   I have a lot of regulars and they are always very, very generous.  But certainly COULD write a book with server stories over the years.   There have been some hysterical and pathetic stories.

Sometimes I think everyone should work retail or do restaurant work one day in their life to see what it's like.  

[Venezia]

@AuntMame - I've been at work lunches in the past (holidays or special occasions) where someone has done that and it p**sed me off no end.

One Christmas lunch (England), another woman and I put in a decent amount for the tip.  This guy decides he's "in charge", takes everyone's cash and then says it's enough to cover the total bill with the equivalent of about £1.50 left over for a tip!  This was a table of about 10.

The other woman and I said "How is that possible?  We each put in £3 for the tip."  His answer?  "Oh, some of us had drinks, so it covers that!"  We said we wanted our tip money back (so we could hand it to the lady ourselves), but he refused.  We couldn't get the money back without making a scene, but we told him what we thought and left because we didn't want to be there when he paid the bill.  What a total creep.

To this day, I wish we'd found the two servers (yes, they had to split that magnanimous tip) and given them another tip.

[Venezia]

@lynnie61 - I worked retail in the past and I've said the same thing to my DH, family and friends many times:  everyone should have to work at one of these service jobs at least for a while, so they know what these workers put up with!