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Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,154
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I don't get the concern that some on here think it makes you look "cheap", if you ask for separate checks.

 

There are times that DH and I pick up the entire tab (with family or friends).  There are other times we all have separate checks.

 

Our family and true friends know us better than to think we're "cheap", when we do that, just as we would never think it of them.

 

We don't judge people that way.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,960
Registered: ‎05-21-2010

@cindyNC wrote:

Oh my goodness.  This thread brought back memories of my former motherinlaw.  She told me how a group of 6 of them always went out to dinner and one woman always ordered  last, and the most expensive item on the menu.  They split the check equally. 

 

The other couples got tired of it, so one night they told the other lady to order first. Then the rest of them all ordered the same thing she did. 


@cindyNC  This is too funny. I hope she realized that they were on to her.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,355
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Trinity11 wrote:

@Biftu wrote:

Wow, I see I am in the minority here.  I didn't realize separate checks was that popular.  Never have we done this, whether it be with other couples or I go out with friends.  We do not eat out that often and when we do we either pay, or the other couple pays.  Just  glad to have their company and I don't care what they order.


@Biftu , I'll join you on that bench.😄


Is there any room for me?

 

 


'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎03-09-2010
Ladies, there is a real generational gap going on. I graduated from nursing school about 5 years ago so I have friends in their 20s-30s. It’s normal to have separate checks unless we’re splitting meals like pizza or it’s a very large group.

And yes, some people are on a budget and money DOES matter. 😜 It’s really insulting to imply people are just “cheap”.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,051
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

If I am eating with a goup and only paying for my meal or my families meal I would like a seperate check. I see it as neither insulting or cheap, I am paying directly to the one who provided the meal and service, no need to sit around passing money among friends. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,486
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

The bottom line:  Some have more money to spend than others.

 

Some don't drink and some do and don't want to foot the bill for others.

 

Some go out to eat more often than others and can't afford to foot other people's bills or food and drink choices.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,310
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I always ask for separate checks when I go out with friends who  drink ....many drinks........ that are ridiculously priced--no way do I want to pay for that. I also pay for the few drinks I have as well. Sometimes the drinks alone are well over $200 for a group of people---and if I order a small meal, I don't want to pay for others huge meals either.  if someone does insist on paying for my meal, I make sure and slip them the cost of it in a pocket or in their car console--and then make sure they got it the next day. I appreciate the thought but could never afford to pay for the whole deal. Don't like splitting a bill either for a group--it is always way more than I ordered. 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 521
Registered: ‎01-27-2015

Nothing is worse than one check with other couples and dividing who had what and the cost ! Split evenly or separate checks ...End of problem . ( If they are your friends ,as you stated . )

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,894
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@Tinkrbl44  

 

Before I read the responses, I would have thought asking for separate checks seemed cheap, but now it seems considerate.

A gracious person may want lobster but order something less expensive and forego a second drink knowing the bill will be split. I'd rather everyone, including me, got what they wanted without concern since they would be covering the cost themselves.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 39,572
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

@Cakers3 wrote:

@Kitty Galore wrote:

@Effie54 wrote:

While it's nice to have separate checks.....we never ask for that. It appears cheap. Unless the wait staff automatically give separate checks, we just split the bill. 


@Effie54  Actually that is how we both feel ,  it appears cheap  also it appears as if we aren't very good friends .   The 3 of us don't drink only him,  so it isn't that.   Maybe it's just we don't care what others are ordering we enjoy dinning out with friends and family we split the check with everyone else we dine with even amounts to each couple .  We do not go over the bill and itemize what a each person  ate, that's crazy !   


@Kitty Galore 

 

If you have been friends with  her since forever is this the first time all four met for dinner???

 

Since her husband is the only one who drinks perhaps he did not expect others to pay for his alcohol.  I'd give him credit.

 

Overall I see nothing cheap or ill-mannered or whatever.

 

People can choose to share the bill or not.

 

It is not a major issue. *shrug*

 

 


 

@Cakers3   @Kitty Galore 

 

Finally!   LOL   Woman LOL

 

Cakers, I have been reading every post, and wondering why no one asked how this person could be a friend for decades, apparently, and Kitty never shared a meal with them before this?  How is that even possible?  

 

While it may be a generational thing, the ONLY way splitting the bill works long term is if two things are constant:

 

1- No one "abuses" the bill-splitting choice and over-orders food or alcohol, and 

 

2- All parties have enough discretionary income that an extra $20 or $100 paid in to the bill doesn't matter to them. 

 

I think the most considerate thing is to have separate checks be the norm.  You (usually) just don't have intimate access to everyone's finances.  Don't create hardships for others because you don't wish to be "bothered" with dealing with money.  IMO, that's VERY rude.