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05-31-2023 09:25 AM
I don't get the concern that some on here think it makes you look "cheap", if you ask for separate checks.
There are times that DH and I pick up the entire tab (with family or friends). There are other times we all have separate checks.
Our family and true friends know us better than to think we're "cheap", when we do that, just as we would never think it of them.
We don't judge people that way.
05-31-2023 09:44 AM
@cindyNC wrote:Oh my goodness. This thread brought back memories of my former motherinlaw. She told me how a group of 6 of them always went out to dinner and one woman always ordered last, and the most expensive item on the menu. They split the check equally.
The other couples got tired of it, so one night they told the other lady to order first. Then the rest of them all ordered the same thing she did.
@cindyNC This is too funny. I hope she realized that they were on to her.
05-31-2023 10:09 AM
@Trinity11 wrote:
@Biftu wrote:Wow, I see I am in the minority here. I didn't realize separate checks was that popular. Never have we done this, whether it be with other couples or I go out with friends. We do not eat out that often and when we do we either pay, or the other couple pays. Just glad to have their company and I don't care what they order.
@Biftu , I'll join you on that bench.😄
Is there any room for me?
05-31-2023 10:48 AM
05-31-2023 11:06 AM
If I am eating with a goup and only paying for my meal or my families meal I would like a seperate check. I see it as neither insulting or cheap, I am paying directly to the one who provided the meal and service, no need to sit around passing money among friends.
05-31-2023 11:22 AM
The bottom line: Some have more money to spend than others.
Some don't drink and some do and don't want to foot the bill for others.
Some go out to eat more often than others and can't afford to foot other people's bills or food and drink choices.
05-31-2023 11:32 AM
I always ask for separate checks when I go out with friends who drink ....many drinks........ that are ridiculously priced--no way do I want to pay for that. I also pay for the few drinks I have as well. Sometimes the drinks alone are well over $200 for a group of people---and if I order a small meal, I don't want to pay for others huge meals either. if someone does insist on paying for my meal, I make sure and slip them the cost of it in a pocket or in their car console--and then make sure they got it the next day. I appreciate the thought but could never afford to pay for the whole deal. Don't like splitting a bill either for a group--it is always way more than I ordered.
05-31-2023 12:27 PM
Nothing is worse than one check with other couples and dividing who had what and the cost ! Split evenly or separate checks ...End of problem . ( If they are your friends ,as you stated . )
05-31-2023 02:26 PM
Before I read the responses, I would have thought asking for separate checks seemed cheap, but now it seems considerate.
A gracious person may want lobster but order something less expensive and forego a second drink knowing the bill will be split. I'd rather everyone, including me, got what they wanted without concern since they would be covering the cost themselves.
05-31-2023 02:39 PM
@Cakers3 wrote:
@Kitty Galore wrote:
@Effie54 wrote:While it's nice to have separate checks.....we never ask for that. It appears cheap. Unless the wait staff automatically give separate checks, we just split the bill.
@Effie54 Actually that is how we both feel , it appears cheap also it appears as if we aren't very good friends . The 3 of us don't drink only him, so it isn't that. Maybe it's just we don't care what others are ordering we enjoy dinning out with friends and family we split the check with everyone else we dine with even amounts to each couple . We do not go over the bill and itemize what a each person ate, that's crazy !
If you have been friends with her since forever is this the first time all four met for dinner???
Since her husband is the only one who drinks perhaps he did not expect others to pay for his alcohol. I'd give him credit.
Overall I see nothing cheap or ill-mannered or whatever.
People can choose to share the bill or not.
It is not a major issue. *shrug*
Finally! LOL
Cakers, I have been reading every post, and wondering why no one asked how this person could be a friend for decades, apparently, and Kitty never shared a meal with them before this? How is that even possible?
While it may be a generational thing, the ONLY way splitting the bill works long term is if two things are constant:
1- No one "abuses" the bill-splitting choice and over-orders food or alcohol, and
2- All parties have enough discretionary income that an extra $20 or $100 paid in to the bill doesn't matter to them.
I think the most considerate thing is to have separate checks be the norm. You (usually) just don't have intimate access to everyone's finances. Don't create hardships for others because you don't wish to be "bothered" with dealing with money. IMO, that's VERY rude.
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