Community Chat

[CalminHeart]

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@AuntMame wrote:

I have girlfriends I love to go out to lunch with. There are a few who order the full shebang...multiple appetizers, full meal, drinks, desert-to-go...with the intention of taking a lot of food home for later meals. I rarely order much, just soup or salad. As an older woman on a retirement fixed-income I feel taken advantage of when someone who's ordered a tableful of food says "Let's split the check." So now I specify separate checks when orders are taken. And feel relieved when a companion specifies the same. That's just me. When I was younger I would pick up dinner bills but I can't do that any longer. I don't care if I look cheap. 

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i'm with you. As an older woman on a fixed income, I can't afford to buy meals for others, let alone spit a check with one or more who order something more expensive than I order.

No one knows another's financial situation and people need to stop jumping to conclusions.

[Imaoldhippie]

@Kitty Galore ................A waiter asking if separate checks or all on one is usually the first thing they ask.  They are not mind readers.

The friends hubby was not rude or out of line.  In my experience that is common.  He could have been doing you a favor.  Maybe he wanted to order an expensive item.

Halving the bill is more dangerous as someone could order surf & turf at market price (very expensive) while you only want a chef salad.  You want to pay half of their surf & turf price?  Not me.

[SoCal Bred]

My girlfriends and I go out to lunch every 3-4 months to celebrate our birthdays, the birthday girl gets to choose the restaurant of their choice, granted we are all retirees, two of us are married the other two are single ladies.  We always pick a place that is reasonable and within everyone's budget, when the bill comes it is split between all with the exception of the birthday girl.  

[zebra9]

I have been a member of a book club for over 40 years, in which new members have come and gone over the years.  Each month we go to a different restaurant often in keeping with the theme of the book we are discussing.  When the club first started the total restaurant tab would be split amoung all the members who were present.  As we aged vaious issues (primarily health) emerged which caused various people to stop drinking alcohol.  When it became highly divided, we discussed it and decide to have the servers seperate the liquor bill from the food bill.  Again the bills were divided by the participants.  Further aging revealed food algeries and health issues that required dietary modifications   We all value our time together and so decided to have seperate checks.  Since we are a large group, we alway meet mid-week and make reservations in which we specify that we will require seperate checks.  

We are now in out 70,s and 80,s and neither the members nor the restaurants are being inconvenienced.  The value of lifelong friendships has survived health and financial issues that may have seperate us.

[We rescue cats]

We have an understanding with our circle of dining companions, DT-Dutch Treat, and when we all get together for a meal someone will always say "DT". The only time we ever break that rule was when we went to a private facility that the member is billed monthly, usually the guys went after golf.

[teganslaw]

I meet every month with a group of women I used to work with. We choose a different restaurant every time, and the group consists of 6-8. We get separate checks. The server never seems to have a difficult time figuring the bills, and we leave good tips. I can't comprehend how this could be "cheap" . Others must have  a different view of the word than we do.

We've been doing this for a year and it has always worked out. 

[shoptilyadropagain]

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@Winkk wrote:

I don't see a problem with it, I do it frequently.  I don't want to pay for someone who has steak and drinks and I have a salad and water.  Eating out is pricey.

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Ditto for me!

[Rockycoast]

I’m with you Kitty. We split the check when dining out with friends and family. So much easier for the wait staff. After all these years I have yet to have any of our friends order way out of line. Silliness. Separate checks among friends, Yes does seem cheap to me.

[Kitty Galore]

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@Carmie wrote:

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@Kitty Galore wrote:

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@Kitty Galore wrote:

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@Effie54 wrote:

While it's nice to have separate checks.....we never ask for that. It appears cheap. Unless the wait staff automatically give separate checks, we just split the bill. 

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@Effie54  Actually that is how we both feel ,  it appears cheap  also it appears as if we aren't very good friends .   The 3 of us don't drink only him,  so it isn't that.   Maybe it's just we don't care what others are ordering we enjoy dinning out with friends and family we split the check with everyone else we dine with even amounts to each couple .  We do not go over the bill and itemize what a each person  ate, that's crazy !   

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@Kitty Galore  If you have been friends with  her since forever is this the first time all four met for dinner???

Since her husband is the only one who drinks perhaps he did not expect others to pay for his alcohol.  I'd give him credit.

Overall I see nothing cheap or ill-mannered or whatever.

People can choose to share the bill or not.

It is not a major issue. *shrug*

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@Cakers3   actually we have dined with them 3 times.  They are recently married , 2nd husband ,  Former  husband we split our bill.   They just moved back to our state.   Still find it uncomfortable as I've never encountered this before ,  nor has my husband .
 I write this in another post previously that ordering an appetizer is uncomfortable as they haven't so they just sit there watching us and because of that we always ask if they would like some .  It's just not mannered to eat in front of others when they have nothing

in front of them too.  So that is another issue with separate checks for us .

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@Kitty Galore   I am sure you would not want to go out to eat with me.  I have Celiac disease.  I can't eat foods with gluten.  

I can't  count the times friends and family have eaten in front of me and I just watched.  Hot bread at the table...none for me.

I sit at the table at wedding receptions and my husband eats my food. I can't eat anything served.

Sometimes, even the salad is off limits because of croutons.  I have gone all day with no food when traveling or at outings. I am used to it and there is nothing I can do about it.  Others eat in front of me and even eat

my food so it won't go to waste.

 If you and  hubby order apps, just eat them when they come.  If your friends wanted apps, they would order them too.

Sometimes, it's just nice to be with people and not worry about correct manners or who is paying the bill.

Just enjoy the company and go with the flow.

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@Carmie @Actually this friend has celiac disease as well .  She is careful what she orders.   She doesn't eat the bread and when ordering a ceaser salad she asks to omit the croutons.   She does order a regular meal ,  and eats pretty well.   Maybe there are degrees of Celtic I'm nit sure about that ,  need to ask her.  

[Kitty Galore]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@MamaWick wrote:
Do you want to pay for their lobster and cocktails when y'all ordered chicken and ice tea?

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Anyone who orders expensive entrees have always paid the entire bill. We would never burden the waitress with needing to make up separate checks. 🥺

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@Trinity11  

Burden the waitress?  Are you kidding? 

Just based on the comments here, I'm speculating that when people have separate checks they are likely to order more of what they want, not concerned it would "burden" their friends who didn't order nearly as much as the others. 

A couple people having cocktails can add a lot to a bill, and not everyone consumes alcohol these days.  Desserts can cost more than appetizers, and not everyone wants one.

What is wrong with being financially accurate with people you care enough about to share a meal with?  Sorry, but I see nothing wrong with that.

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@Tinkrbl44 What can I say?😄 I hang with friends who aren't hung up on an extra $$ or so. In the end it always works out. What others do is fine with me. I just have never encountered friends, family, even at business luncheons when I worked asking for separate checks. We all just split the bill. As a Type 1 diabetic who can't eat gluten or drink, or eat desserts, I eat out for the company ...the food not so much, although I am a stickler for not eating in chain restaurants and only fresh ingredients. 

Learn something new every day.😀

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@Trinity11 @Feel the same .  We don't get hung up over extra $$$ .  The people we dine with are family and close friends.  It's a personal choice though as I see from all the posts and that's fine .  To each there own.