Re: Separate checks ??

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

We usually cover the whole bill when we eat out with our kids unless one of them reaches for it first, It's rare that we're out with others but I think separate checks is perfectly OK. DH and I drink water, iced tea, or diet pop (I keep trying to get him to quit). If another couple or two is there and decide to enjoy something harder, I don't see why we should get one bill and us cover part of the cost of their alcohol.

Last week I was out with two other ladies who I've known for most of my life. We ordered an antipasto salad to share, a medium pizza for one of the friends and I to share, and the third person ordered a small pizza for herself. I ordered a small pizza separately to bring home to DH and paid for it separately. The medium pizza was only half eaten so my friend and I split the leftovers. The person who ordered the small pizza took all the leftovers from that one. We had a great waitress and wanted to be generous with the tip. When the bill came and the tip was added, the total was $104 and change. I said it would be $35 a piece. The friend who ordered the small pizza for herself asked if she could just give $30. My other friend and I covered the difference for her. No, it wasn't much, but I learned a lesson that day that it would be separate checks in the future.

FancyPhillyshopper · ‎05-02-2017

I have been to many, many business meeting meals, and individual receipts are required to submit for reimbursement, so restaurants that cater to professionals know upfront they will need to provide separate checks.

With friends and family everyone does separate checks unless one person is treating, and everybody is aware of that before we even get to the restaurant.

I do not think it is strange or rude at all to have separate checks--it makes it much easier and there are no bad feelings involved. Issues could include choosing expensive entrees, lots of alcohol, or even tip amounts!

With family, sometimes I will order a salad or dessert and pay for it, and then split the salad or dessert with another family member as I am not a big eater.

Of course, customs may be different depending on the part of the country, the relationship with the other dining partners, or even the culture(s) of the people involved.

The only time we would ever split the bill among the group and put all the money "in the pot" is if we would go to a fast food place or a diner.

Spacrazy · ‎12-14-2018

I prefer separate checks and make it clear up front. It's helpful for the waitstaff and it's no big deal.

sandy53 · ‎03-12-2010

Separate checks makes everything so much easier. It's not rude or insulting, it's clarifying and simplifying.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@Kitty Galore wrote:
@Cakers3 wrote:
@Kitty Galore wrote:
@Effie54 wrote:
While it's nice to have separate checks.....we never ask for that. It appears cheap. Unless the wait staff automatically give separate checks, we just split the bill.
@Effie54 Actually that is how we both feel , it appears cheap also it appears as if we aren't very good friends . The 3 of us don't drink only him, so it isn't that. Maybe it's just we don't care what others are ordering we enjoy dinning out with friends and family we split the check with everyone else we dine with even amounts to each couple . We do not go over the bill and itemize what a each person ate, that's crazy !
@Kitty Galore If you have been friends with her since forever is this the first time all four met for dinner???

Since her husband is the only one who drinks perhaps he did not expect others to pay for his alcohol. I'd give him credit.

Overall I see nothing cheap or ill-mannered or whatever.

People can choose to share the bill or not.

It is not a major issue. *shrug*

@Cakers3 actually we have dined with them 3 times. They are recently married , 2nd husband , Former husband we split our bill. They just moved back to our state. Still find it uncomfortable as I've never encountered this before , nor has my husband .
I write this in another post previously that ordering an appetizer is uncomfortable as they haven't so they just sit there watching us and because of that we always ask if they would like some . It's just not mannered to eat in front of others when they have nothing
in front of them too. So that is another issue with separate checks for us .

@Kitty Galore I am sure you would not want to go out to eat with me. I have Celiac disease. I can't eat foods with gluten.

I can't count the times friends and family have eaten in front of me and I just watched. Hot bread at the table...none for me.

I sit at the table at wedding receptions and my husband eats my food. I can't eat anything served.

Sometimes, even the salad is off limits because of croutons. I have gone all day with no food when traveling or at outings. I am used to it and there is nothing I can do about it. Others eat in front of me and even eat

my food so it won't go to waste.

If you and hubby order apps, just eat them when they come. If your friends wanted apps, they would order them too.

Sometimes, it's just nice to be with people and not worry about correct manners or who is paying the bill.

Just enjoy the company and go with the flow.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Trinity11 wrote:
@MamaWick wrote:
Do you want to pay for their lobster and cocktails when y'all ordered chicken and ice tea?
Anyone who orders expensive entrees have always paid the entire bill. We would never burden the waitress with needing to make up separate checks. 🥺

@Trinity11

Burden the waitress? Are you kidding?

Just based on the comments here, I'm speculating that when people have separate checks they are likely to order more of what they want, not concerned it would "burden" their friends who didn't order nearly as much as the others.

A couple people having cocktails can add a lot to a bill, and not everyone consumes alcohol these days. Desserts can cost more than appetizers, and not everyone wants one.

What is wrong with being financially accurate with people you care enough about to share a meal with? Sorry, but I see nothing wrong with that.

Biftu · ‎02-05-2011

Wow, I see I am in the minority here. I didn't realize separate checks was that popular. Never have we done this, whether it be with other couples or I go out with friends. We do not eat out that often and when we do we either pay, or the other couple pays. Just glad to have their company and I don't care what they order.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@Trinity11 wrote:
@MamaWick wrote:
Do you want to pay for their lobster and cocktails when y'all ordered chicken and ice tea?
Anyone who orders expensive entrees have always paid the entire bill. We would never burden the waitress with needing to make up separate checks. 🥺

@Trinity11

Burden the waitress? Are you kidding?

Just based on the comments here, I'm speculating that when people have separate checks they are likely to order more of what they want, not concerned it would "burden" their friends who didn't order nearly as much as the others.

A couple people having cocktails can add a lot to a bill, and not everyone consumes alcohol these days. Desserts can cost more than appetizers, and not everyone wants one.

What is wrong with being financially accurate with people you care enough about to share a meal with? Sorry, but I see nothing wrong with that.

@Tinkrbl44 What can I say?😄 I hang with friends who aren't hung up on an extra $$ or so. In the end it always works out. What others do is fine with me. I just have never encountered friends, family, even at business luncheons when I worked asking for separate checks. We all just split the bill. As a Type 1 diabetic who can't eat gluten or drink, or eat desserts, I eat out for the company ...the food not so much, although I am a stickler for not eating in chain restaurants and only fresh ingredients.

Learn something new every day.😀

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@Biftu wrote:
Wow, I see I am in the minority here. I didn't realize separate checks was that popular. Never have we done this, whether it be with other couples or I go out with friends. We do not eat out that often and when we do we either pay, or the other couple pays. Just glad to have their company and I don't care what they order.

@Biftu , I'll join you on that bench.😄

lynnie61 · ‎04-28-2010

With family, we normally just take turns. No one worries about what anyone ordered. But I'm ok with separate checks. Many years ago, taken advantage of ALOT when a couple always ordered many, many drinks, and I got a soft drink or water. And they were super cheap on the tip. I never care with a few girl friends, we mostly order like items, don't drink or have one, so it's all good.

There shouldn't be any issues with servers.