Community Chat

[judgejudith]

I've mentioned before that I am a caregiver for seniors. I have one client who I believe is being verbally abused by her step-daughter-in-law (SDIL). SDIL yells at the client, making her cry, etc. It appears to me to be all about the money.

First let me say that the two have no long standing relationship. The client lived out east, has been a widow for 25 years, very, very wealthy and no children or family. She moved to my state when she was in her 80's because she wants to be buried next to her husband who is buried here. She just thought it would be easier. She has 24 hr-7 day a week caregivers, and ends up paying about $100,00 a year for this care. Here is the rub...about 8 months ago the SDIL approached the client's trust officier telling the officer she wanted to retire and could use money...so could she and her friend provide the overnight care for the client? The client agreed (with some reservation but wanted to help)...so the SDIL and her friend each earn about $25,000 tax free dollars ($50,000 divided by 2).

Since working for the client she goes on these yelling rampages about the client's spending habits. Yes, she likes clothes and jewelry...but the bottom line is her trust officer said she has plenty of money and should buy what ever she likes. She recently donated $500,000 to a local organization in memory of her husband. Okay she has a lot of money.

Over this week-end the SDIL told her she should not have any caregivers, she should not get her hair done weekly, or her nails done, that she should take a cab and get her own groceries make her own lunch...she yelled at her in the community hair salon, and her neighbors told her they could hear the yelling going on in the apartment. There are a lot of other instances that are just not right.

How do I fit in, well, I've been one of her caregivers since she moved here and over the course of time she has confided in me. I pick up things for her that she needs or wants ...lipstick, eye brow pencil, puzzle books...I give her receipts and once a month she writes me a check for these items...the receipts are then filed in the client's notebook. I do not get reimbursed for gas or time. I like to do this for her and any one of my clients as it makes me feel good about me. The SDIL resents one of the other caregivers and myself...because we are close to the client.

What should I do?