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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,523
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

 

1.   Helvetica and Times Roman walk into a bar.

"Get out of here." shouts the bartender.  "We don't serve your type."

 

2.   Yesterday I saw a guy spill his Scrabble letters on the road.  I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"

 

3.   Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?  There's no menu, you get what you deserve.

 

4.   A woman in labor suddenly shouts, "Shouldn't." "Wouldn't." "Couldn't." "Didn't" "Can't." 

"Don't worry," said the doctor.  "Those are only contractions."

 

5.   Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?  He was just going through a stage.

 

6.   Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?  He just needs a little space.

 

7.   Why don't scientist's trust atoms?  Because they make up everything.

 

8.   What sits at the bottom of the ocean?  A nervous wreck.

 

9.   How does Moses make tea?  He brews.

 

10.   What do you call a parade of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare-line.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,874
Registered: ‎06-13-2010

@Lindsays Grandma  😂😂😂I was looking for a good laugh today, and #4 is it! I think I "said" a few "contractions" during labor too!😂 

 

 

~~~All we need is LOVE💖