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05-19-2016 11:55 PM
@chrystaltree wrote:9
@Sooner wrote:
@GCR18 wrote:You can still meet up with your friends from work. Plan a few lunches or dinners before you leave for the upcoming month. I can't wait for that day to come. Unfortunately, it's further out than I'd like. Congratulations, it will be great.
For many it doesn't work that way. After you leave they have little interest in you and your life leaves very little for you to talk about.
It NEVER works out becsuse work is the bond. Work friends get together and talk about the job, the boss, projects etc. Once a person leaves or retires, there is no bond. At first, not much changes but in time, the one who left has nothing in common with her former work buddies. They talk and laugh about what happened last week and the retiree just sits there. After that first year, those former work relationships wither away.
*********************************
Well, that's not true, as several people have already shown.
05-19-2016 11:57 PM
@Noel7 wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:I'm a realist. I see the retired, most are no longer current or vital. I have no desire to join them. Volunteers are not decision makers, not taken seriously, I have no desire to join them.
I reduced my hours some back when there were massive layoffs so as to allow another to remain employed which gives me more free time. Other than that, I have no plans or desire to retire.
********************************
How sad that all some people see as worthwhile in life is work.
Well possibly if one were a world-renowned scientist with a cure for all the horrible diseases of the world, an ace surgeon who traveled the world to save lives, or someone who knew the answer for world peace, but those are not jobs, they're callings for the great minds of the world. Bit I suspect these are not the "jobs" we are discussing, if you get my drift.![]()
05-19-2016 11:58 PM
I have about a year to go, some days thinking I may delay, but most days can't wait. Good luck
05-20-2016 12:01 AM
05-20-2016 12:06 AM
@Noel7 wrote:
@chrystaltree wrote:9
@Sooner wrote:
@GCR18 wrote:You can still meet up with your friends from work. Plan a few lunches or dinners before you leave for the upcoming month. I can't wait for that day to come. Unfortunately, it's further out than I'd like. Congratulations, it will be great.
For many it doesn't work that way. After you leave they have little interest in you and your life leaves very little for you to talk about.
It NEVER works out becsuse work is the bond. Work friends get together and talk about the job, the boss, projects etc. Once a person leaves or retires, there is no bond. At first, not much changes but in time, the one who left has nothing in common with her former work buddies. They talk and laugh about what happened last week and the retiree just sits there. After that first year, those former work relationships wither away.
*********************************
Well, that's not true, as several people have already shown.
_______________________________________________________
True friends have much more to talk about than work. True friends love you no matter what you happen to be doing with your life.
I met my closest friends through work. The relationships range from 15 years to over 30 years. Those work relationships grew into deep friendships.
These are not the "acquaintances" you just happen to work with or go out to lunch with while you were working. Those were never friends. Just co-workers and it's natural as you move on with your life some of them fall by the wayside.
05-20-2016 12:22 AM
@RoughDraft wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:I'm a realist. I see the retired, most are no longer current or vital. I have no desire to join them. Volunteers are not decision makers, not taken seriously, I have no desire to join them.
I reduced my hours some back when there were massive layoffs so as to allow another to remain employed which gives me more free time. Other than that, I have no plans or desire to retire.
********************************
How sad that all some people see as worthwhile in life is work.
Well possibly if one were a world-renowned scientist with a cure for all the horrible diseases of the world, an ace surgeon who traveled the world to save lives, or someone who knew the answer for world peace, but those are not jobs, they're callings for the great minds of the world. Bit I suspect these are not the "jobs" we are discussing, if you get my drift.
*************************************
I had the same thought but I, too, doubt that is the case.
05-20-2016 01:06 AM
@mstyrion 1 wrote:..oh and let me add that the friends I made at work who really meant something to me are still my friends and I see them often. Several of them are still working, so that myth about losing your working friends when you retire is just that. A myth.
I would say it completely depends on everyone involved and each situation would be different.
05-20-2016 01:15 AM
@chrystaltree wrote:9
@Sooner wrote:
@GCR18 wrote:You can still meet up with your friends from work. Plan a few lunches or dinners before you leave for the upcoming month. I can't wait for that day to come. Unfortunately, it's further out than I'd like. Congratulations, it will be great.
For many it doesn't work that way. After you leave they have little interest in you and your life leaves very little for you to talk about.
It NEVER works out becsuse work is the bond. Work friends get together and talk about the job, the boss, projects etc. Once a person leaves or retires, there is no bond. At first, not much changes but in time, the one who left has nothing in common with her former work buddies. They talk and laugh about what happened last week and the retiree just sits there. After that first year, those former work relationships wither away.
I tend to think this is the most common scenario. Some people make actual good friends at work, whom they see outside of work even while employed. So no, it's not 100%, never, etc., but I think it's more common not to socialize outside of work, and to not have anything in common but work. So people *try* to keep things going, but as you say, the drifting begins.
And it doesn't mean as some are sure to suggest, or have half-suggested already, that the retiree is defective in some way. There's no point in trying to force a relationship, and no lack in psyche or personality just because the bond is lost.
05-20-2016 01:23 AM
@Noel7 wrote:
@RoughDraft wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:I'm a realist. I see the retired, most are no longer current or vital. I have no desire to join them. Volunteers are not decision makers, not taken seriously, I have no desire to join them.
I reduced my hours some back when there were massive layoffs so as to allow another to remain employed which gives me more free time. Other than that, I have no plans or desire to retire.
********************************
How sad that all some people see as worthwhile in life is work.
Well possibly if one were a world-renowned scientist with a cure for all the horrible diseases of the world, an ace surgeon who traveled the world to save lives, or someone who knew the answer for world peace, but those are not jobs, they're callings for the great minds of the world. Bit I suspect these are not the "jobs" we are discussing, if you get my drift.
*************************************
I had the same thought but I, too, doubt that is the case.
You make a good point, some people have jobs just to their bills while others have satisfying careers. A career doesn't mean one must be a world famous neurosurgeon or a supreme court justice. A lot of us are career professionals who love what we do and do not look foward to or seen anything attractive about retirement. Since more and more people will work remotely from home or anywhere else they happen to be, the concept of retirement is going to change. I see it in my workplace already. When I was young, most people retired at 62 and couldn't get out the door fast enough. But today, people are staying fitter and stronger and happier as they age and living longer. Spending 30 years in Death's waiting room, as my dad called retirement, isn't a pleasant thought for many of us. I used to think my dad was joking. He seemed to be enjoying all that gardening and puttering around the church. Now that I'm 56, I wonder if he really was joking.
05-20-2016 01:29 AM
Incredible post! I loved your story. So interesting and very wise words.
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