Community Chat

[Irshgrl31201]

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@teainlondon wrote:

I wish I could tell you how happy I am that I am retired, but I am not. I grieve every day for the interaction with colleagues. I found that many who still work distance themselves and I don't have anything in common with them since I am not in the thick of it. I was busy and going and enjoyed the meetings and discussions. Now that is not a part of my life. I don't like to be by myself. It's just my DH and me. He is retired but still works part time. He has a reason to get out of the house and be with people. I am at home alone.

I mourn every day and often am too depressed to do anything. I was never a housewife; I had domestic help that did the cleaning and cooking. Now that's left to me, and I am a lousy housewife.

I would give anything if I could go back to work.

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What about some type of volunteering? I am 46 and the last ten years or so I had planned to retire by the time I was 50 so I could do more volunteer work with a charity I am involved with. I have cut down on my work hours greatly and I find I am volunteering much more than I thought I would. I like this though and find I am spending almost as much as I would a full time job. I am really enjoying it.

[Irshgrl31201]

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@Kalli wrote:

Caught between happiness and sadness. You work your whole life to get to the point when you no longer have to work. At first, retirement is so distant, you just push it to the back of your mind. Then one day, you wake up and realize it's almost here. Where did the time go???

I'm excited but I'm also feeling a sense of loss. Don't get me wrong. I'm looking forward to having more time to do the things I want to do, like go trail riding at 10 am on a Tuesday just because I feel like it. Or staying up late to watch the end of a movie and not having to worry about being tired at work the next day. And of course, my parents are elderly and in need of my help, so this means I'll have more time to be there for them.

It's exciting but I also never thought I'd feel so sad. I'm mourning the loss of my career....but it's not really my career, it's my involvement with the people I've worked with and for all these years. I love what I do but didn't realize it would be so bittersweet to leave and retire. I'll certainly cry on my last day. Sheesh.

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Hey @Kalli! I am not retired yet but I have cut down on my hours greatly. I feel the same and that is why I haven't completely stopped working. In my case I wanted to retire early so I could put more time volunteering for a charity I have for a while but didn't have the time to do it as much as I liked to. I find this has made it a lot easier though I still have times where I have momentary freak outs because I truly loved the people I work with and don't want to lose the great connection we have. While we will still see each other socially a good amount, there is a certain camaraderie you do lose if you aren't "in the trenches" with them daily. It is just a natural change and some days are tougher than others but I have found that using my time volunteering has helped because i am still doing something I enjoy and think is valuable. 

I never thought I would feel this way. Truth is though, I really always enjoyed working so to go from a full on career to nothing is tough. I don't think I could do that if I didn't have the charity to occupy me. Personally I wish I was the type of person that could be happy doing nothing at all, all day long. I would love to just be happy to float in a pool all day but I find I get very anxious when I do actually do nothing. I am the type of person that wakes up super early with no need to set an alarm. I want to sleep until 9 or 10 am so bad and my body just won't do it!

[Bird mama]

@Kalli   Bless your heart and congratulations.

When my last day comes they will probably have to dart me to keep me from laughing hysterically all day. 

[dex]

I just don't understand how you can feel bad about having all the time in the world to discover yourself and indulge yourself just doing what makes you happy or captures your interest.I suggest joining a gym and going during the morning hours.The gym is full of people our age at that time and it is really fun taking classes and getting to know people.You would be surprised at the interesting people you can meet there.I really hope that you grow to love your new lifestyle and become busy enjoying your freedom to do whatever comes along each day as you please.

[MaggieMack]

@Kalli, your life will definitely change, but for the better! I basically "retired" when my DH passed and I sold our business. I love waking up early and having a cup of coffee in my swing at a leisurely pace, not having to do anything on a schedule most days. Life is delicious! I do volunteer work, all of it rewarding, but the best is reading every other Tuesday to a group of four and five year olds, who end every session with a group hug around their Readng Buddy. Heaven on earth!

As Dr. Brugh Joy said, have no expectations, make no judgments, and delete your need to understand. You will revel in your new and different life!

[Moonchilde]

I couldn't wait to retire (end of this past January). My profession in healthcare, that I had once been proud of, has been devalued and outsourced over the past 25 years, and I was doubly unfortunate that my last job (17+ years) valued none of us, ever.

I worked in a snake pit with everyone blaming everyone else for every single thing on a daily basis. We all hated each other. Management was completely disinterested.  And I could not just go find another job in a specialized field where jobs are scarcer than hen's teeth. Add to that age discrimination, and I was stuck.

The stress was tremendous. I battled hypertension, insomnia and diabetes, as well as constant foot/leg and joint pain over the past 5 years. Many days I dragged myself into the office gritting my teeth in pain. No one cared.

Now that I'm retired I miss NOTHING about my former job. I can sleep in. I can do, or NOT do, precisely what I like. Even though I don't really, deep down, want to work any more, I have looked for part time work and there isn't any remotely close to what I did, and I'm not interested in minimum wage jobs just to have a job.

I will likely ultimately volunteer, possibly at a local food bank or at a senior center. I'd prefer to volunteer at an animal shelter, but both shelters nearby practice euthanasia, and I couldn't handle that.

OP, I understand you feel sad about retiring, but honestly, be glad you're sad - you've been lucky enough to be able to enjoy your working life.

[Kalli]

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

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@Kalli wrote:

Caught between happiness and sadness. You work your whole life to get to the point when you no longer have to work. At first, retirement is so distant, you just push it to the back of your mind. Then one day, you wake up and realize it's almost here. Where did the time go???

I'm excited but I'm also feeling a sense of loss. Don't get me wrong. I'm looking forward to having more time to do the things I want to do, like go trail riding at 10 am on a Tuesday just because I feel like it. Or staying up late to watch the end of a movie and not having to worry about being tired at work the next day. And of course, my parents are elderly and in need of my help, so this means I'll have more time to be there for them.

It's exciting but I also never thought I'd feel so sad. I'm mourning the loss of my career....but it's not really my career, it's my involvement with the people I've worked with and for all these years. I love what I do but didn't realize it would be so bittersweet to leave and retire. I'll certainly cry on my last day. Sheesh.

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Hey @Kalli! I am not retired yet but I have cut down on my hours greatly. I feel the same and that is why I haven't completely stopped working. In my case I wanted to retire early so I could put more time volunteering for a charity I have for a while but didn't have the time to do it as much as I liked to. I find this has made it a lot easier though I still have times where I have momentary freak outs because I truly loved the people I work with and don't want to lose the great connection we have. While we will still see each other socially a good amount, there is a certain camaraderie you do lose if you aren't "in the trenches" with them daily. It is just a natural change and some days are tougher than others but I have found that using my time volunteering has helped because i am still doing something I enjoy and think is valuable. 

I never thought I would feel this way. Truth is though, I really always enjoyed working so to go from a full on career to nothing is tough. I don't think I could do that if I didn't have the charity to occupy me. Personally I wish I was the type of person that could be happy doing nothing at all, all day long. I would love to just be happy to float in a pool all day but I find I get very anxious when I do actually do nothing. I am the type of person that wakes up super early with no need to set an alarm. I want to sleep until 9 or 10 am so bad and my body just won't do it!

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Hi, @Irshgrl31201, I think volunteering is a great idea for me!  I can do it whenever I want and I know my former working friends will appreciate any help I can give them.  I actually already told some of my work "peeps" that I'd be back now and then.  

[Mz iMac]

Retired at 50.  I left the office like  & never ever looked back.  That was 15 yrs ago.

[Sooner]

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@GCR18 wrote:

You can still meet up with your friends from work.  Plan a few lunches or dinners before you leave for the upcoming month.  I can't wait for that day to come.  Unfortunately, it's further out than I'd like. Congratulations, it will be great.

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For many it doesn't work that way.  After you leave they have little interest in you and your life leaves very little for you to talk about.  

[Bird mama]

@Moonchilde

I've had 35 years in health insurance.  Imagine how popular I am since the passage of certain legislation.  I don't wear my ID in public, rofl.