Relationship Question

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

A couple gets divorced. They have three children; the oldest is 10. She gets primary custody; he has visitation. His job requires a lot of travel. Sadly three years later she is killed in an accident. The children go to live with their maternal grandparents for a while. Grandparents decide it's too much for them and want one of the children to live with their other married daughter (no children of her own). Dad comes back into the picture, changes his position that requires very little travel and gets full custody. Everyone is happy.

When the oldest is a teenager he refers to his dad as a "widower." Of course no one corrects him, but I think because they were divorced he is not a "widower." A friend disagrees. Just wondering what you all think. TIA!

roster · ‎10-09-2017

Since he was divorced first, then his wife died afterwards, I'd say divorced.

MamaWick · ‎03-09-2010

His marital status is divorced.

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness ~ Dalai Lama XIV

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace ~ Jimi Hendrix

Leggett28 · ‎12-17-2011

@beach-mom I agree with you. They were divorced.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@beach-mom wrote:
A couple gets divorced. They have three children; the oldest is 10. She gets primary custody; he has visitation. His job requires a lot of travel. Sadly three years later she is killed in an accident. The children go to live with their maternal grandparents for a while. Grandparents decide it's too much for them and want one of the children to live with their other married daughter (no children of her own). Dad comes back into the picture, changes his position that requires very little travel and gets full custody. Everyone is happy.

When the oldest is a teenager he refers to his dad as a "widower." Of course no one corrects him, but I think because they were divorced he is not a "widower." A friend disagrees. Just wondering what you all think. TIA!

@beach-mom "Everyone is happy." That's the only thing that matters and stuff like whether he is a "widower" or not should not matter to anyone and be dropped immediately as a topic of discussion.

deepwaterdotter · ‎03-09-2010

Perhaps the child is just more comfortable with the term "widower" when referring to his father's marital status. These children have had quite a bit to deal with in their lives.

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

"Widower" would help the children avoid the "Where's your Mother?" question. Would make life a bit easier for them. They need that!

Wsmom · ‎03-09-2010

IMO a label doesn't matter. Whatever term makes the kids comfortable would be my thought.

But technically, without anyone correcting the kids, I agree that he is divorced. If that make sense.

millieshops · ‎03-09-2010

I'd say he's the boy's father and stay out of the fray. Legally he is divorced, I believe, but why the boy chooses to say widowed instead may have nothing to do at all with legalities.

I didn't see any comment about what the father calls himself, but I do see a whole lot going on in that family which could make the young man's life hard to explain to himself let alone to his friends.