Community Chat

[Pook]

terrier 3 - That is what I'm saying true abusers just abuse so I guess we are in agreement on that!! If the female is the one who willfully attacks the man over and over - well that is craziness on her part and not true domestic abuse as she is setting the man up. It's a ploy to punish the man who isn't supposed to touch her! I have seen many men who could not escape these women or they would be accused of physical abuse. One woman I worked with took pictures of every bruise, cut , etc she ever had and none were the result of abuse. She was in essence blackmailing her husband and when everyone is so quick to blame the man, he was held hostage in the relationship! Neither the male nor the female should ever raise a hand to the other. If a man is supposed to control himself - in the world of equality the female needs to practice this also. I have seen too many manipulative females in my life to automatically blame the male.

[terrier3]

On 11/29/2014 Pook said:

terrier 3 - That is what I'm saying true abusers just abuse so I guess we are in agreement on that!! If the female is the one who willfully attacks the man over and over - well that is craziness on her part and not true domestic abuse as she is setting the man up. It's a ploy to punish the man who isn't supposed to touch her! I have seen many men who could not escape these women or they would be accused of physical abuse. One woman I worked with took pictures of every bruise, cut , etc she ever had and none were the result of abuse. She was in essence blackmailing her husband and when everyone is so quick to blame the man, he was held hostage in the relationship! Neither the male nor the female should ever raise a hand to the other. If a man is supposed to control himself - in the world of equality the female needs to practice this also. I have seen too many manipulative females in my life to automatically blame the male.

As a counselor, I see probably 8 cases of males abusing women vs. 2 of women abusing their partners.

What this football player did should NEVER be excused, condoned or explained away. He's VERY lucky he was allowed to plead down.

[millieshops]

On 11/29/2014 terrier3 said:

On 11/29/2014 millieshops said:

Rice should have been reinstated - that's a legal issue and he's entitled to be treated legally. Too bad the bigwigs at the NFL didn't just admit they made serious errors from the get-go.

The issue of whether the reinstatement means he will play again is a totally separate issue in my mind. I don't imagine any team picking him up this year, but I also think the football public will accept him should a team decide to hire him next year.

Finally, for her sake, I hope his wife is right and that the abuse we saw was truly an aberration.

Wasn't he lucky he had a union to fight for him?

Absolutely, And no matter who fought for him, I do hope you're not saying he isn't entitled to a legal settlement. Poor or rich, we ought to be treated legally.

[Irshgrl31201]

On 11/29/2014 Pook said:

terrier 3 - That is what I'm saying true abusers just abuse so I guess we are in agreement on that!! If the female is the one who willfully attacks the man over and over - well that is craziness on her part and not true domestic abuse as she is setting the man up. It's a ploy to punish the man who isn't supposed to touch her! I have seen many men who could not escape these women or they would be accused of physical abuse. One woman I worked with took pictures of every bruise, cut , etc she ever had and none were the result of abuse. She was in essence blackmailing her husband and when everyone is so quick to blame the man, he was held hostage in the relationship! Neither the male nor the female should ever raise a hand to the other. If a man is supposed to control himself - in the world of equality the female needs to practice this also. I have seen too many manipulative females in my life to automatically blame the male.

Pook, we just had a thread about this a couple of months ago. There was a study done by the CDC and the DOJ that more men than women were victims of physical violence. The rate of women abusers has really jumped in the past 20 yrs.

http://www.saveservices.org/2012/02/cdc-study-more-men-than-women-victims-of-partner-abuse/

http://www.batteredmen.com/NISVS.htm

[Nuttmeg]

On 11/29/2014 terrier3 said:

On 11/29/2014 Pook said:

I am sympathetic to women who are abused for no reason but I am definitely not sympathetic to women who play their mind games and even get physical and expect to get away with it - and they usually do!! If a woman cannot control herself then why should a man have to??!!! I have seen too many examples of these women laughing about torturing their men and goading them to hit them so they can call the cops!!! That's not right. Also, a good friend who raised a really polite son was arrested for domestic violence after his trampy wife did that to him. There is no way this man would ever have done that. She then went on to do it to 2 other men as they compared notes!! Like I said those that chase after athletes often just want the lifestyle and will do anything to keep it or get a great settlement even if they were cheating or if their husband wants to divorce them many unscrupulous women will ruin their careers because they can just to get even!! Like I said I experienced growing up with an abusive father and the last thing my mother (who chose to stay ) would have ever thought of doing is goading him in any way and that is what so many women do. Women are notorious game players in their relationships and many are so toxic that if it were not for the fact that men want the s x they would spend their lives alone!!

All women are not innocent victims just as all men aren't automatically guilty!

Abusers don't need to be "goaded" into their actions. They find any and all excuses.

That is blaming the victim...

I'm sorry you had to witness abuse as a child. That can lead to all sorts of problems interacting in a relationship as an adult.

I hope the OP here, has received some supportive help to more past this toxic childhood.

[RubyinNE]

It's the NFL. Why is anyone surprised?

[Nuttmeg]

On 11/29/2014 millieshops said:

Rice should have been reinstated - that's a legal issue and he's entitled to be treated legally. Too bad the bigwigs at the NFL didn't just admit they made serious errors from the get-go.

The issue of whether the reinstatement means he will play again is a totally separate issue in my mind. I don't imagine any team picking him up this year, but I also think the football public will accept him should a team decide to hire him next year.

Finally, for her sake, I hope his wife is right and that the abuse we saw was truly an aberration.

I hope he does get picked up by a team next year. He needs to be a spokes person for domestic violence. This is a way for him to continue working on the families recovery, and helping to bring an awareness to this problem.

[Still Raining]

Well, isn't that special?

[terrier3]

On 11/29/2014 millieshops said:

On 11/29/2014 terrier3 said:

On 11/29/2014 millieshops said:

Rice should have been reinstated - that's a legal issue and he's entitled to be treated legally. Too bad the bigwigs at the NFL didn't just admit they made serious errors from the get-go.

The issue of whether the reinstatement means he will play again is a totally separate issue in my mind. I don't imagine any team picking him up this year, but I also think the football public will accept him should a team decide to hire him next year.

Finally, for her sake, I hope his wife is right and that the abuse we saw was truly an aberration.

Wasn't he lucky he had a union to fight for him?

Absolutely, And no matter who fought for him, I do hope you're not saying he isn't entitled to a legal settlement. Poor or rich, we ought to be treated legally.

People put down unions here all the time...his union got him reinstated.

Many people "on their own" would have been fired, no second chances!

[Lion]

On 11/29/2014 terrier3 said:

As a counselor, I see probably 8 cases of males abusing women vs. 2 of women abusing their partners.

What this football player did should NEVER be excused, condoned or explained away. He's VERY lucky he was allowed to plead down.

ITA.

It's unbelievable that anyone would defend his actions. He could've killed her.

He's a professional football player and is at least 2x her weight, taller, and far, far stronger.

No matter what she may have done (and I've only heard that she spat on him), she was completely unable to defend herself from him.

IMO, it's like saying an adult has the right to punch out a child if the child spits or kicks them.

When do we ever approve of a larger person attacking a smaller person?