Community Chat

[Lila Belle]

is this the bag ?

[Marp2]

Lila,

I don't know. The one in the picture accompanying the article (active link in #13) is yellow.

[betteb]

Noreen, "saying a lunchbox is a trigger for bullying, is like saying a short skirt is a trigger for rape. It's flawed logic, it doesn't make any sense."

This pretty much says it all.

[tansy]

If I were the boy's mother, and being pragmatic in many matters, I would not allow him to wear a skirt to school or to carry a bag to school that resembled the one in Lila's picture. In a perfect world, the other kids should not bully this child and the school would figure out how to deal with the bullies but his mother should have seen this coming. I would not set my child up to be bullied:/

[Marp2]

Tansy,

But wouldn't that be suppressing who he is and sending the message that you have to conform to get along? Why should he be made to accept other's expectations of what is appropriate rather than "them" being accepting of differences?

[tansy]

I'm conflicted on the issue, Marp, but I do not think this would be the particular battle I'd choose to fight for my son.

[RainCityGirl]

Here's the deal. Kids can be mean and brutal. While the pony bag may be the boy's choice du jour, he many have to rethink rainbows and ponies. To me, it's like wearing a neon sign that says "Kick me." I know it's not right and it's the other kids, not him, but sometimes, you just have to take the path of least resistance in order to be free of harassment. I don't know all the details regarding the school's handling of this. I would assume that the parents of the bullies were brought into it, but maybe not. Kids get picked on for a variety of reasons, some of it not their fault, and some of it fomented by them. Chances are he also gets bullied about his name and possibly by how he behaves in social situations. Just a guess. At any rate, even if the school took drastic action, that doesn't guarantee he wouldn't still be bullied...off campus, of course. As I said....kids are vicious and cruel at times, and anything this boy can do to diminish the attacks would contribute to a more pleasant environment for him.

[PurpleBunny]

Even when the back pack is left home, the bully children will find another thing/kid to target. It's not the situation, it's their personalities.

[occasionalrain]

On 3/11/2014 RainCityGirl said:

Here's the deal. Kids can be mean and brutal. While the pony bag may be the boy's choice du jour, he many have to rethink rainbows and ponies. To me, it's like wearing a neon sign that says "Kick me." I know it's not right and it's the other kids, not him, but sometimes, you just have to take the path of least resistance in order to be free of harassment. I don't know all the details regarding the school's handling of this. I would assume that the parents of the bullies were brought into it, but maybe not. Kids get picked on for a variety of reasons, some of it not their fault, and some of it fomented by them. Chances are he also gets bullied about his name and possibly by how he behaves in social situations. Just a guess. At any rate, even if the school took drastic action, that doesn't guarantee he wouldn't still be bullied...off campus, of course. As I said....kids are vicious and cruel at times, and anything this boy can do to diminish the attacks would contribute to a more pleasant environment for him.

So you expect a person to conform to what others find acceptable to get by? What about celebrating individuality? What about the right to be free of harassment? What about making an example of the bullies instead of expecting a person to avoid being themselves?

The fact is that there are behaviors that even children avoid because of the consequences. The consequences need to be severe enough to prevent bullying in the first place.

[~moxie~]

My grandson is 9 years old. He is always reading and some of the boys bully him for that. They bully him for his scholastic abilities and his interest in science and math. He is a strong young boy and feels sorry for the kids that bully him. He is very comfortable with his nerdiness and tells me that he would have more friends if he dumbed it down but he is what he is and feels no need to change.