Re: Pre Planning a Funeral

vermint · ‎04-05-2010

@JeanLouiseFinch Like someone else said, just choose your funeral home and make an appointment...they will walk you through every step.

DH & I did this just this summer. We used the funeral home that did my parent's funerals--they are known for NOT being pushy whatsoever, and we found this to be true. There was no upselling at all. Plus, they have an on-site crematorium.

We chose the simplest--direct cremation. They will pick up the body, and cremate it. No embalming, no viewing, etc. The remains will be picked up by a family member, and the FH has no more involvement.

The price included whatever container they use for the cremation itself, plus an urn suitable for burial. They also recorded info for our obituaries. It was around $1,300 for each of us...total $2,600. The way this FH does it, is they purchase a life insurance policy with themselves as the beneficiary. Cash it in when the time comes.

We already have cemetery plots at our church. For cremains, no vault is required--we can dig our own grave, so to speak, and place the container in it. So, no grave opening/closing fees. We will have a simple, casual service.There will, of course, be some additional expenses with the church, which we will pay ourselves when the time comes. Since we are members, they will be minimal.

gidgetgh · ‎03-09-2010

@JeanLouiseFinch - one big thing to consider, is after cremation, what do you want done with your ashes? You didn't mention that part.

My sisters husband had both of his parents cremated, per their wishes, years ago, and the ashes are sitting in urns in my sisters basement because there wasn't a plan as to what to do with them. So it is still unresolved and a task that still has to be completed. And my brother in law just doesn't "get it done"

So, I'm all for pre-planning, but plan it all the way through.

Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@gidgetgh wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch - one big thing to consider, is after cremation, what do you want done with your ashes? You didn't mention that part,

My sisters husband had both of his parents cremated, per their wishes, years ago, and the ashes are sitting in urns in my sisters basement because there wasn't a plan as to what to do with them. So it is still unresolved and a task that still has to be completed. And my brother in law just doesn't "get it done"

So, I'm all for pre-landing, but plan it all the way through.

Yes, that would have to be included. Honestly we don't care, we know where we'll be and the physical ashes carrry no importance. I get your point, though. More from a sentimental POV, I think about mingling our ashes and each child gets a little. But then that forces them to hang onto something they might not want to deal with. We've also joked with them that they can take us to some favorite places of our and sprinkle us around. We'll have to figure that part out.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Find out who in your town does cremations. Call them, ask your questions. Call a couple of them. We did that very thing for that very reason. Call and check on what you need to find out.

gidgetgh · ‎03-09-2010

@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:
@gidgetgh wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch - one big thing to consider, is after cremation, what do you want done with your ashes? You didn't mention that part,

My sisters husband had both of his parents cremated, per their wishes, years ago, and the ashes are sitting in urns in my sisters basement because there wasn't a plan as to what to do with them. So it is still unresolved and a task that still has to be completed. And my brother in law just doesn't "get it done"

So, I'm all for pre-landing, but plan it all the way through.
Yes, that would have to be included. Honestly we don't care, we know where we'll be and the physical ashes carrry no importance. I get your point, though. More from a sentimental POV, I think about mingling our ashes and each child gets a little. But then that forces them to hang onto something they might not want to deal with. We've also joked with them that they can take us to some favorite places of our and sprinkle us around. We'll have to figure that part out.

@JeanLouiseFinch - I get it. my sister sees those urns every time she goes to the basement, which is every day, and it is an unresolved issue. Something that she more than likely is going to have to take care of. Task hanging over her head that should have been done years ago.

I applaud you for doing the pre-planning.

Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?

Stray · ‎04-20-2013

I have made my wishes known. Cremation & scatter, no service, no visitation

We live next to a funeral home & they are very good neighbors. Many of our older residents who have passed on used their services as friends & neighbors could walk over. Many pre paid for their arrangements but the funeral home is going out of business & an apartment building will replace them. They are very honorable people so I’m sure they’ve helped clients who have pre paid but it is something to consider before making final arrangements.

cindyNC · ‎08-01-2019

Well, I don't want to be buried in the home town I moved away from and I will be the single aunt that people have faded memories of. So I'm planning on being creamated and want my ashes to go to the Neptune organization. They are put in concrete and taken down to the bottom of the ocean where they form a reef for ocean critters.

Eileen in Virginia · ‎08-25-2010

My 98 year old Aunt pre-paid her funeral after my Uncle died in 2009. Her plan included an inflation clause. At the time, she chose the standard viewing, wake, church service and burial option. She'll be buried at Arlington National Cemetery with my Uncle. As time passed and most of her family and friends pre-deceased her, she told us she only wanted a graveside service. She died earlier this month and her foresight has been very helpful to us. She died 4 days after entering home hospice care, the administrative aspects of which left a lot to be desired, so it was very stressful to us on top our sorrow at her impending death. The plan includes everything from the casket to the stipend for her minister. Since she wanted a smaller funeral than she originally contracted for, her estate will receive a check for any surplus funds after she's buried. All we need now is a burial date from Arlington National Cemetery to lay her to rest. After seeing how much her forethought has helped us, DH and I are seriously considering purchasing this type of plan.