Community Chat

[Carmie]

Some people are always nasty and negative, some are super sensitive and many have poor reading comprehension skills.  They read well, but don't understand and jump to conclusions.

Often people don't understand sarcasm and take everything as being as written.

It is difficult to convey things in writing and sometimes someone will read something and it triggers a personal negative thought and they get their feelings hurt.

If this happens, most poster's will apologize and explain that was not their intent to hurt someone.

Occasionally, a poster or two do it on purpose.  Some of those posters are no longer on the boards, but there will always be monsters among us.

I know I am pretty straight forward and have been called out for being as such more than once. I would never hurt anyone intentionally, but if I do and I am called out, I always apologize and it makes me feel bad and I try to be more careful in the future.

[silkyk]

My Mom use to tell me "Why do you care what they think....they're not paying your bills." Mom right again.

[Zhills]

I had an ex-boss who was a tyrant at work......Many said it was because he was a "totally henpecked" husband at home!

That's how I look at many who post here!  Just need somewhere to blow off steam and say what they are holding in for someone else!

[Nancy Drew]

I also think some media pits people against each other. Like we are all mean and just waiting to offend or be mean to each other. Then you go to Costco and everyone is polite and minding there own business. People are generally nice and nothing nefarious is going on. Even on these boards there are waaay more nice friendly helping fun threads . I read and enjoy those. 

[QVCkitty1]

I take it the way I take it, period. I can’t worry if someone thinks I’m too “ sensitive,”  those that say that often use it as an excuse for boorish behavior.  I find most of the posters here kind and helpful, and we can all misunderstand comments from time to time. However, when attacked, like the kitty, I will scratch .

[Suzeecat]

If something is posted and is agreed with, a reader might click on the "heart" for a "like".  They may not comment, so the OP may not hear that it make someone smile, laugh or learn.

On the other hand, there is no "thumbs down" button, so if someone doesn't agree, they may leave a comment.  Those negative comments can carry more weight with the OP than a simple "heart", although the truth may be that it was a great post and 9 out of 10 people thought so.  But, the OP will have hurt feelings because one person said they thought it was "stupid". 

I guess that's human nature playing out on this board. 

[Cakers3]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

Dejav vu all over again. With true respect for the OP's feelings, these threads NEVER work to change anything and rarely end well.

Someone who is truly a "bully" or always nasty will not read this and say, "Oh, gee, that's me...I'll change right now."

Nope, if there are such people here, they would just point their fingers at others. the upshot is that no one is going to change the nature of social media. Take it for it's worth, enjoy the good parts, or make a decision not to engage.

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@suzyQ3   Agree.

It's all about perception.  Whether a remark is meant in the spirit of the discussion-meaning agree or disagree, or whether a remark is a snark or off topic or whatever-how one views anything is on that person, not the author of the remark.

We all know the difference-if somebody uses an out and out insult vs. using a pov to disagree.  Or uses back up from reputable sources to discount a pov about a topic.

What is really useless is the psychoanalysis that goes on every....single...time.

Nobody will agree with everyone all the time; opening up to a different perspective is more important than assessing how much posters take things the wrong way or are just plain miserable.

It's not the end of the world in the grand scheme of life.

[chrystaltree]

It's hard to answer because I don't know the specifics but generally speaking if someone takes something you say the wrong way, it's probably because you didn't phrase the comment well.  That hasn't changed, it's always been like that and it's like that in real conversations too.  Sometimes we say something and it didn't come out  the way we meant it to.  And on the other end, other posters are allowed to have opinions and feelings.  Disagreeing with someone doesn't mean the poster is being negative.  

[CrazyDaisy]

When you go looking for insults you can usually find them.

[IamMrsG]

Whenever I direct a comment to a specific poster, I imagine the possibility of being discovered as that person's next door neighbor.  If I would not comfortably look my 'neighbor' in the eyes afterwards, I do not click onto 'Post.' 

That said, I have frequently left a biting comment hanging.  There are some people in this forum who deserve being cut down a peg or two, and just typing the comment is usually enough to vent steam.  

The posts (and posters) I think are arrogant and self-serving are those belittling comments such as, "Get a life;" "Change the channel;" "For cryin' out loud;" "There are bigger problems to be concerned about," etc.  You likely know the sort better than I.