Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

LdyBugz · ‎03-10-2010

@qvcaddition Yes, I agree with you 100%. This approach would establish boundaries while keeping things civil so to speak.

781Florist · ‎10-16-2021

I think you should leave things as they ended. If he really did the job as a favor, no harm no foul. He won't be offended and may continue to do that for you. If he was hinting around for payment and you just smile, play dumb and say "Oh thank you" he won't do any more unsolicited "favors" for you since they are not profitable.

Biftu · ‎02-05-2011

@shoesnbags wrote:
@SloopJohnB wrote:
@Biftu wrote:
My neighbor's son (he's in his 40s) knocked on my door to tell me he has cleaned up both our front lawns from pinecone like things that fall from his tree but branches hang over my property. I thanked him and an hour later he said his trash barrel was filled and can he use mine. Sure I said. He came back again and told me his father used to pay him 10 cents for every pincone he picked. I laughed and said he had a good thing going. Back again to tell me my trash bin was heavy and to call him on trash day and he will move it to the front for me. I felt like he wanted me to pay him. These pinecones don't bother me in the winter and I did not ask him to do this, although I appreciate he did it.

He has done small outdoor chores for me in the past which I asked for his help and I paid him. He took on this task on his own. Being retired I try to only pay for projects I can't do on myself. Would you have paid him?

@Biftu Is he by chance special needs? Only ask because he is in his 40's, lives with his parents I'm presuming from your post, kept coming back to your door at least 4 times, and talked about getting paid a dime per pinecone.....🌲. Maybe this was a "real" type job for him? Not inferring anything about being special needs as I have an autistic child of my own. Just trying to picture the scenario.
@Biftu
This is exactly what I was thinking. For all of the reasons @SloopJohnB mentioned. I was a special ed teacher and his behavior rang some bells for me. But all the more reason to have the talk with him about waiting for you to ASK for help instead of doing it on his own. And also explaining about needing to work it into your budget.

No, he is not a special needs man. I do know that he has had a drug problem in the past but appears to be doing fine now. He has been living with his mom for quite a few years now. Could be because of his drug problem, but I don,'t know. He does have a job, not sure what but something to do with art. He sometimes, on his own, helps me shovel during snow storms for which I pay him or give him a gift certificate. He is always pleasant. I can count on him to help with small outside jobs, but never have him in my house. His mother is a lovely woman who just retired as a hospice nurse. If he takes on jobs without my asking, I will not pay him.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Talk about burying the lead...lol. That he did jobs for you in the past should be at the top. Yes, obviously he wanted to be paid. Obviously by the second knock, you knew he was angling for payment. I would have thanked him and given him $10 and told him that in the future he should ASK me before he does any lawn work because I live on a budget.

Carolina925 · ‎03-09-2010

@LizzieInSRQ , that's exactly what I thought. When I first moved to NY in the early 70s, I was so surprised at people coming up to your stopped car and washing the windshield. I'm from the south and had always heard how unfriendly people might be up there. I told my husband about it and how glad I was to have moved up there and found that the people up north were just as nice, if not moreso, than the people in my little hometown. He explained that they were doing that to get money from me! I did find that people were the same all over, friendly and loving, and mostly treat you like you treat them...but I was ready for the next kind gentleman who wanted to wash my windshield!

This neighbor may be a bit developmentally delayed and I would need to explain to him that, while I appreciated his assistance, I could handle the work on my own but would be glad to reach out if there was something he could help me with in the future.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

I would tell him he has to ask for permission before doing work on your property.

I have a neighbor who sometimes does work on my property out of the goodness of his heart. I've offered to pay for big jobs but he refuses money. Otherwise, I profusely thank him and take time to visit with him.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

He sounds like specials needs. Hubbs plow driveway for neighbors and doesn't ask for payment. Another neighbor does favors for neighbors and also doesn't ask for payment.

Could you speak to his Mom? This is a difficult situation and I would not know how to handle it. Hubbs says extortion. LOL

Rockycoast · ‎03-02-2016

No, I would not have paid him. It was mess from his/his mom's tree that prompted the clean up. He took it upon himself to do this as a favor to you. It does not need payment. Thanking him was enough.

SilleeMee · ‎05-22-2016

I use to have a good friend and I say "use to" now b/c he was a good friend before he started doing work for me. I paid him well. Now he only calls me when he needs money. Last time he called I told him so and he didn't like that at all. Tough. Sometimes you just have to draw the line and speak the truth.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@Biftu wrote:
@qvcaddition wrote:
@Biftu
@Biftu wrote:
My neighbor's son (he's in his 40s) knocked on my door to tell me he has cleaned up both our front lawns from pinecone like things that fall from his tree but branches hang over my property. I thanked him and an hour later he said his trash barrel was filled and can he use mine. Sure I said. He came back again and told me his father used to pay him 10 cents for every pincone he picked. I laughed and said he had a good thing going. Back again to tell me my trash bin was heavy and to call him on trash day and he will move it to the front for me. I felt like he wanted me to pay him. These pinecones don't bother me in the winter and I did not ask him to do this, although I appreciate he did it.

He has done small outdoor chores for me in the past which I asked for his help and I paid him. He took on this task on his own. Being retired I try to only pay for projects I can't do on myself. Would you have paid him?

Orginally, I would say no, but in thinking about it, I would offer 5.00 and say, I appreciate it and just want to show it, but In the future, I can't afford it. If I have a bigger job, then I will let you know, but I have to put it in my budget when I can afford it. Thank you for thinking of me. Showing good faith and keeping the friendship.
I understand, but giving a grown man $5 doesn't cut it.