Community Chat

[PIT-HAG Melissa]

Jig Saw-

Not here but in everyday life it drives me crazy when my friends throw out the P.A comments when they don't pertain..

LOVE PSYCHOLOGY... I always want to know what makes a person ""tick"" below the surface...

[minkbunny]

On 10/29/2014 Jig Saw said:

On 10/29/2014 minkbunny said:

Nah, never let 'em get to you.

Ignoring a person gives them power.

While all the while responding to them.

EXACTLY ! I never tell somebody I am ignoring them and then post on every thread they even come near. That always made no sense to me.

I have you all on ignore yet I see and comment on your every word.

Pfffttt.

Thus my comment, ignoring someone gives them the power to think you give a fig about what they might say.

Obviously, I don't.

[Jig Saw]

On 10/29/2014 JustMeMelissa said:

Jig Saw-

Not here but in everyday life it drives me crazy when my friends throw out the P.A comments when they don't pertain..

LOVE PSYCHOLOGY... I always want to know what makes a person ""tick"" below the surface...

Me too! The psychology of it all is one reason I love the Saw movies.

[dooBdoo]

On 10/29/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

On 10/29/2014 dooBdoo said:

On 10/29/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

On 10/29/2014 dooBdoo said:

On 10/29/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

"Well, Bless Her Heart".

I hate seeing that comment become one that people take as sarcasm. Coming from the south, I always used it sincerely. Now if I say it, I always feel I have to add some sort of disclaimer.

Sorry, dooBdoo, I don't have control over the evolving vernacular.

Oh, come on, now, Kitty. I thought you did, and you could help us out here.

I Am Kitty, Hear me Mew!"

And hiss, and grrrrowllll. And purr! Just don't scratch me!

[LaterGator]

8 examples of passive-agressive behavior:

http://coachingpositiveperformance.com/8-examples-passive-aggressive-behaviour/

[JuJu Squeezie]

On 10/29/2014 Jig Saw said:

On 10/29/2014 JustMeMelissa said:

Jig Saw-

Not here but in everyday life it drives me crazy when my friends throw out the P.A comments when they don't pertain..

LOVE PSYCHOLOGY... I always want to know what makes a person ""tick"" below the surface...

Me too! The psychology of it all is one reason I love the Saw movies.

Did you snack on biscuits and mustard while you watched those flicks?

[LilacTree]

On 10/29/2014 kittymomNC said:

I see posters use this against other posters all the time. Here's Merriam-Webster's definition, which I think is very clear... it seems to be a favorite put-down since I've seen it used quite a bit.

Passive-aggressive behavioris the indirect expression of hostility, such as throughprocrastination,sarcasm, stubbornness, sullenness, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.

In psychology, passive-aggressive behavior is characterized by a habitual pattern ofpassive resistanceto expected work requirements, opposition, stubbornness, and negativistic attitudes...

Exactly the example I used.

[SoX]

On 10/29/2014 dooBdoo said:

It's really more complicated than we might think. But in general, it's not confronting a person or an issue head-on, directly, face-to-face, and instead finding side-roads, less obvious things, to make your point.

Yep ... that's it.

[QueenDanceALot]

On 10/29/2014 dooBdoo said:

On 10/29/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

On 10/29/2014 dooBdoo said:

On 10/29/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

On 10/29/2014 dooBdoo said:

On 10/29/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

"Well, Bless Her Heart".

I hate seeing that comment become one that people take as sarcasm. Coming from the south, I always used it sincerely. Now if I say it, I always feel I have to add some sort of disclaimer.

Sorry, dooBdoo, I don't have control over the evolving vernacular.

Oh, come on, now, Kitty. I thought you did, and you could help us out here.

I Am Kitty, Hear me Mew!"

And hiss, and grrrrowllll. And purr! Just don't scratch me!

Sometimes my animal nature just takes over.

[dooBdoo]

On 10/29/2014 LaterGator said:

8 examples of passive-agressive behavior:

http://coachingpositiveperformance.com/8-examples-passive-aggressive-behaviour/

Very nice, LaterGator! Here's part of it, for those who don't like links:

". . .8 Examples of passive aggressive behaviour

There are many different ways in which passive aggressive behaviour can be expressed. The following list, though not exhaustive, covers some of the most common examples.

1. Resenting the demands of others

When others make requests or demands of them, passive aggressive people will often view them as unfair or unjust. Rather than express their feelings, they will bottle them up and resent the other person for making the demands. They quickly forget that they did not have to agree to the demand, or that they could have voiced their feelings at the time that the request was made.

2. Deliberate procrastination

Procrastination, the act of putting off that which needs to be done, is often a subconscious decision. With passive aggressive people, however, it is often a conscious decision. Rather than tell the other person that they cannot agree to their request, the passive aggressive person will delay completing the request until the very last moment, or later. This is aimed at punishing the other person for having the audacity to make the request.

3. Intentional mistakes

Again, rather than say ‘No’, passive aggressive people sometimes find it easier to deliberately perform poorly at a task. The hope is that they will not be asked again due to the substandard work.

4. Hostile attitude

As they often assume that others know how they feel, passive aggressive people tend to immediately assume that anything they do not approve of was an intended to be a jibe at them. For example, they may assume that their boss knows that they have a full workload. When he boss makes a request of them, they assume that the has something against them and wants to put excessive pressure on them. It never crosses their mind that they could point out to their boss that they have a full schedule and he would then ask somebody else to help.

5. Complaints of injustice and lack of appreciation

Everything is viewed as an attack on them. When something doesn’t go their way, it is seen as unfair or an injustice. It’s all about how the world impacts on them.

6. Disguising criticism with compliments

At first, passive aggressive people may seem pleasant and warm. They often appear to be complimentary. It is only after they have left that you realise that the compliment was actually disguising a cheap jibe.

7. The last punch

Passive aggressive people love to throw the last punch. So much so, that even when an argument has been reconciled, they slip one last insulting remark into the conversation. This remark is often more subtle than the ones which went before but it is still an insulting remark which allows them to feel victorious.

8. The silent treatment

As stated at the start, passive aggressive behaviour is recognisable by the disconnect between what is being said and what is being done. Nothing highlights this more than the famous silent treatment. Silence generally signifies agreement but not in this case. When you are on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you realise that the other person is far from agreeable. They have a big problem with you and just to allow themselves the Pyrrhic victory, they have no intention of telling you what that is.

There are 2 other common versions of the silent treatment. One is to answer the question ‘What’s wrong?’ with ‘nothing’, when there certainly is something wrong. The other, which sadly I used to use myself, is to answer any question with just one word. This is intended to signal that there is a problem, without you having to say it. I used to pride myself on the complexity of the questions which I could answer with just one word. . ."