Community Chat

[jackthebear]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@Zhills wrote:

In Florida and many other states, what was just yours before a wedding is always just yours.  Only property purchased during the marriage belongs to both of you.  Check it out.  You may not need any agreements, it's the law!

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@Zhills

If the state OP lives in is a community property state, there are further complications.    Florida is NOT a community property state.

Nevertheless, I got the impression that the OP wasn't clear on WHY two lawyers thought it was necessary.   She just thought she would never get divorced.

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remember that old saying

1 lawyer in a town has no business, but 2....

[henderson]

My husband and I set up a trust and will (cost about $1500).  We have only one remaining son and he isn't married nor has children.  Having a trust guarantees the estate won't go into probate which could take years.  If we both pass and our son also passes, our estate (which isn't that much, we just own a house) will go to whomever we have designated and not the next of kin.  We don't want our brothers, sisters, nieces or nephews, etc. getting our money.  It will go to a specific charity.  That is the purpose of a trust.  We have even designated a bank to administer the trust instead of our family.  I don't know where the poster has gotten the information that trust money is taxed higher than if you don't have a trust.  My 97 yr old mom has a trust and it's to be divided 3 ways.  A trust gives us piece of mind.

[asoutherngirl]

I wish you the best, but I hope you will take the advice of those who have "been there" and the legal suggestions of those whose profession it is to advise and protect those, who like you, may innocently be ravaged by someone who says they will love, honor, cherish you.  I WAS a wealthy woman who twice ignored pre-nups, thinking they were for cynical people or people who really feared their marriages would not last. I was twice taken by men whom I truly thought married me for love.  I was a fool.  Please do not be one.

[MaggieMack]

I have a friend who lost all of the assets from her first marriage, she was widowed, to a handsome charmer who married her, stole her money, and left.

I will never get married again, but if I did, I would have no problem signing a pre-nup. To me, it's no different than having a will prepared. Sure, it feels like you're tempting fate, but that is rarely the case. Most need to update the will after the passage of years. Neither a pre-nup nor a will is any indication that love will die or life will end imminently.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

@Spinach heck no I wouldn't sign one.

All or nothing at all.

People don't take marriage seriously nowadays because they know they can always bail.

I wouldn't want to be with someone of that mindset.

[Junebug54]

I am on a second marriage.   First husband died.    I have 4 children from my first husband.    I absolutely had a pre-nup before I got married (2nd time).    For those against pre-nups please explain to me why you think your children do not deserve everything you and their father worked for?   I can understand if no children are involved.    We have been happily married for 10 years but still have the pre nup in tact.  Oh and I should add I was 60 when I remarried.

[SydneyH]

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@Spinach wrote:

My husband and I, married now for six months, are working on our trusts.  We are in our late fifties.   We both came into the marriage with previous assets.  I don't believe in pre-nups or post-nups and to me it means you are already planning for a divorce.  While preparing his trust his attorney suggested that a post-nuptial agreement be done.  While I was preparing my trust with my attorney she suggested the same.  I'm against it!  Didn't do a pre-nuptial and won't do a post-nuptial.   He and I do not have any children.

Would you sign either a pre-nup or post-nup agreement if you were presented with it?

Whatever happened to marriage until death do us part?  

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People don't stay married for a variety of reasons, if there's a vast difference in assets, I'd have no problem signing one.

[Ms X]

I think you have to answer what you have to gain from a post-nup and what you would lose by not having one.  Perhaps your lawyer can explain that in practical terms and plain English.

I also wonder whether one is necessary since you are drawing up other documents.  I know nothing about trusts, post-nups, and the like.

It's my understanding that inheritances are not community property unless the funds are commingled.  Therefore, can you protect your assets by keeping them separate?  Obviously, the post-nup wouldn't cover just inherited money.

If your husband has the most money, it would seem that he has more to lose by not having a post-nup.  That might not be the case when one considers the totality of the trusts and other documents.  Perhaps the same thing can be/is being accomplished through other documents that are just not being called post-nups.

Congratulations to you!  Make sure you protect your absolute bottom line, but don't worry too much about this.

[Shorty2U]

I agree with you OP. There is no way I would have signed or would sign any kind of nuptial and nor would I have asked for one. Because to me that means mistrust.

[Stormygirl]

I wouldn't be comfortable talking about my most personal affairs on here but since you asked you have gotten many sound opinions....some you may not like. You seem to already have a concrete opinion and no one knows the totality of your situation except you, husband and lawyers. .Everyone gets married with the mindset of "death do us part" or why bother to get married? Ive seen a lot of whim marriages and loneliness marriages.....and others that were not founded on love. Some I have seen the love die after some years. Divorce statistics say otherwise then death do us part though in reality. I have seen many people (male and female) get taken to the cleaners too by not having a pre-nup, post-nup. and I would absolutely require a pre-nup if married again to protect myself. If the other person says no...so be it we wont get married. Simple as that but I am not you and would discuss these issues before marriage if married later in life. I think is a sound document for those who one has much more earned wealth then the other before marriage, prior kids etc and there are many sound reasons a lawyer may give this advice. in this day and age I see no reason for me to marry again but that is me.........and you are you. Noone here can make that decision except you and yours. Congrats by the way.