Community Chat

[HappilyEverAfter]

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@Spinach wrote:

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@HappilyEverAfter wrote:

Congratulations on your wedding!  What you decide to do legally should be between you and your husband. I am a newlywed too! I was married this past December (2nd marriage for both of us) and I wouldn't dare discuss with some of these posters what we decided upon in terms of a pre-nup. 

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Congratulations to you too.  You are right, every relationship is different and people tend to respond based on their experiences.  Good luck to you!  Hope you have a very happy and healthy long life together!  

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Thank you Spinach! I wish the same good things for you.

Also wish there was a private message system on this forum because I would write to you and let you know how we proceeded.

May you both live happily ever after!

Best wishes!!

[TeezNu]

Something in this thread that concerns me far more than the pre- and post-nuptial docs, are the "trusts" you mention.  Please, please, please make sure you understand the purposes of trusts, and that you really do need these. Do your own research.  Challenge your attorney.

My brother and I have been settling our parent's estates over the last few years, that required a family trust to be set up, and their assets to be moved into the trust.  Our parents meant well, and were very hard working, simple, trusting people, who would never question someone who had more education than they.  As a result, I am now sharing the money they worked so hard for with the lawyers, CPAs, and the federal government (trust income is taxed at a higher rate than individuals).  Not to mention that setting up financial accounts in the name of a trust is WAY more labor intensive than setting up an individual account.  I could go on and on about this process, but there was absolutely no need for a trust in our case;  we were very organized and knew where all assets were located - it would have been a very simple and inexpensive process.....except for the trust.  

[MacDUFF]

@Spinach

@Tinkrbl44

I think Tinkr might have been referring to the fact that, generally speaking, men have more wealth than women...?  I'm ducking out of here in case I'm way off base and things escalate!

[Dawnie]

I married second time at age 60.  Myself, both times I had pre nups.  I would never marry without one.  We both have children from our widowed spouses. And a lifetime career of assets.  Every situation is different.  For me it was an absolute must.  

Congrats on your marriage!!!   A new bride!  Best wishes to

 both of you.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@MacDUFF wrote:

@Spinach

@Tinkrbl44

I think Tinkr might have been referring to the fact that, generally speaking, men have more wealth than women...?  I'm ducking out of here in case I'm way off base and things escalate!

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@MacDUFF

That is exactly what I meant.  

Nevertheless, there are a LOT of people who thought "divorce isn't an option" that ended up divorced.   While it requires TWO people to keep a marriage together, it only takes ONE person to want out and they will refuse to stay, regardless of what the other person wants.

[Zhills]

In Florida and many other states, what was just yours before a wedding is always just yours.  Only property purchased during the marriage belongs to both of you.  Check it out.  You may not need any agreements, it's the law!

[hckynut]

No

hckynut(john)

[Tinkrbl44]

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@Zhills wrote:

In Florida and many other states, what was just yours before a wedding is always just yours.  Only property purchased during the marriage belongs to both of you.  Check it out.  You may not need any agreements, it's the law!

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@Zhills

If the state OP lives in is a community property state, there are further complications.    Florida is NOT a community property state.

Nevertheless, I got the impression that the OP wasn't clear on WHY two lawyers thought it was necessary.   She just thought she would never get divorced.

[jaxs mom]

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@Spinach wrote:

My husband and I, married now for six months, are working on our trusts.  We are in our late fifties.   We both came into the marriage with previous assets.  I don't believe in pre-nups or post-nups and to me it means you are already planning for a divorce.  While preparing his trust his attorney suggested that a post-nuptial agreement be done.  While I was preparing my trust with my attorney she suggested the same.  I'm against it!  Didn't do a pre-nuptial and won't do a post-nuptial.   He and I do not have any children.

Would you sign either a pre-nup or post-nup agreement if you were presented with it?

Whatever happened to marriage until death do us part?  

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Don't take advice from random people on the internet who don't actually know you or your husband. 

[SXMGirl]

Congratulations on your new marriage.  We recently had new wills done and it is an expensive process.  Since you do not have children, the only concern would be relatives and if you would want to include them by leaving them either money or remembrances.  

Relatives can get greedy, especially if they believe that they would be entitled to something.  My suggestion is to either give those closest to you some type of remembrance or make a provision in your will.

What I would suggest is that if you have pets that you make a plan for them.  We had no problem with our estate distribution except for how our pets would be taken care of since they cannot speak for themselves.  We have money set aside for their care and guardians who will hopefully be around if needed.