Community Chat

[goldensrbest]

The mom is angry, and is having a tough time , that is one reason she is doing this, you have been good to these kids,and they need your help,before something really horrible happens.It may well get nasty once you report her, the kids may get mad at you,but you must do this.

[sidsmom]

When I read this original post, I had a strong reaction.  

I kinda wanted to 'let it cook' before responding.

Her story reads like the many abusive stories we hear.

For example, an abused wife making excuses for her dangerous husband.  Many victims think since they don't have the money or resources to life on, they'll continue to live with the husband because the fear of the unknown is greater than the fear of an abusive husband.   At the end of the day, there's something which makes the victim stay when they should've left looooong ago.  

Like @brii said, I hope the OP does the right thing....and no need for use to shame her.  

I believe deep down, the OP knows what to do....and not put her own life in danger. 

[ladyroxanne]

i can't tell you how sorry i am that i opened this thread.  it sickens me and i only hope the op has the strength, because didn't read all the posts, to do the right thing.  i hope that all ends well.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@JavaQueen wrote:

I just don't know what to do. 

Over a year ago, I gave up my apartment and took a share to save expenses.  I moved in with a family: a single mother and her teenagers. It was quiet, the kids attend a Catholic school, it is a drug-free household and it was cheap. For some reason, the kids really bonded with me (yeah, they could be the age of my own kids.) There's some other crazy things going on here which I am going to post about. This one thing shakes me to the very core of my being. And I just don't knwo what to do.

I grew up with "old-school' discipline that woud be considere abusive today. On plus side, I grew up to be a law-abding, college-education citiznen. But there was a line drawn. We didn't receive spankings after a certain. It was intended as a very seious thing so you got the message. And it worked. We didn't repeat the behavior and as we got older, the approach shifted to reasoning, etc.   What did we know back then?

Back to the current situation.

My "roommate" had hinted that she had a take-no-prisoners child-rearing approach. I thought it similar to my own. It seemed that the kids were OK.

However, this woman has a quick and hot temper and she screams at the kids. Ok, not pleasant, but that's her style. 

She still beats them with a big thick heavy leather strap.

The son is very sensitive, childlike, but will not listen to anyone. He doesn't follow instructions from his schoolwork, doesn't do it and spends hours (I mean hours) gaming. He's as quck-tempered and stubborn as his mother. He has mood swings and doesn't remember what you tell him.  I have been here a year and I think he is a troubled boy who needs assistance. Not beatings.  he does the same things over and over again and she beats him over and over again with a strap. On Thanksgiving, she beat him wiith a pot. And that's when I told her to stop it. A pot. She screamed at me not to interfere. Today she beat him so badly that he shrieked. At least I htink it was him.  I didn't know whether to call the cops. I was shaking so badly. 

  Then it was like nothing happened. Everyone was calm.

At some point, the daughter has told me that she suffers panic attacks and has a history of cutting. 

I want to leave from here, but it being NYC, it's hard getting the money together and on other hand, i am feel so badly for the kids.

At what point does one step it? If things were different, i would have recorded it on my phone or some other device and reported her. Then left. But, of course, she does this after I have paid my rent for the month (so i can't leave.)

Thanks for readking.

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Java, I'm sure at least a few  (including myself) have been worried about this .......  what has been happening?    Can you give us an update?      

Tink

[SaRina]

This should be and can be reported anonymously.  Worse than what the child is going through now, he stands to live his adult life being an abuser or molester due to the abuse he is receiving now.  

[Shorty2U]

I would report that ASAP. There is NO WAY I would just do nothing. That is child abuse and terrible!

And Id like to add this, my parents never ever hit us, and I did not hit my children either. I am talking of spanking, never did it or had it done to me. We all turned out fine! It is my opinion that violence promotes violence. We had privilege's taken away, and I took privilege's away from my children too or grounded them. There is no need to hit anyone!

[60sgirl]

I haven't read through the whole thread but it seems the OP has taken on more of a role in that family other than boarder. She is now personally involved buying food and paying expenses for them. 

OP, do you work? I ask because if not, then go to a women's shelter at once since you don't have to be near a job. If you do work, even though as you say its NYC, find another room to rent somewhere. Then as quickly as you can call the authorities and tell them what you witnessed. They need to do a homecheck asap. If they feels the kids are in danger they will take them and put them in foster care. The situation you describe is worse than living in a shelter.

The mother sounds mentally unbalanced, if you stay and do nothing, this is not going to have a happy outcome. 

[goldensrbest]

Not surprised she has not returned, with all the blame people were giving her.