Old School versus New School Parenting

MorningLover · ‎10-04-2015

March 2, 2016

Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison defends his parenting style on Steve Harvey Show.

Harrison made headlines during training camp last summer when he posted pictures of his children’s participation trophies with a caption that read:

“I came home to find out that my boys received two trophies for nothing, participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy.

I'm sorry I'm not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I'm not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best.........

.

cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better...not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut u up and keep you happy.

Steelers' Harrison to appear on 'Steve Harvey' show ...

What are your views on this ?

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

I understand the point but I would have handled it differently. I would have explained what trophies are really for, ie., superior performance. However, I would preface that with the importance of participating, to try one's best, that even if you don't win and get a trophy, it can happen next time and it's trying your best that counts. Just making kids return those trophies teaches no real lessons and probably just disappointed the kids. I think a truly valuable teachable moment was missed.

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

They were proud of their trophies which they received for accomplishing whatever it is they did. They proudly showed them to their dad, who told the wold the trophies were useless and they didn't deserve them....

He sounds like an @ss-hole of a dad and his kids will never forget this, I'm sure. They will likely grow up to be competitive alpha-males like their father unfortunately. That's probably what he thinks "men" should be anyway...that's my opinion.

Im editing to say that I don't see anything wrong with participation trophies. The kids DO work hard to accomplish what they do. I received participation trophies and medals as a child too, as did most everyone. Why is everyone coming down so hard on them in this decade?

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@MorningLover wrote:
March 2, 2016
Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison defends his parenting style on Steve Harvey Show.

Harrison made headlines during training camp last summer when he posted pictures of his children’s participation trophies with a caption that read:

“I came home to find out that my boys received two trophies for nothing, participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy.

I'm sorry I'm not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I'm not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best.........
.
cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better...not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut u up and keep you happy.

Steelers' Harrison to appear on 'Steve Harvey' show ...

What are your views on this ?

I think he will someday regret his actions. His son won a trophy for showing up and doing his best. As the parent of children where we encouraged them and didn't tear them down, I think he is wrong.

And that stuff about raising his sons to "be men" really rubs me the wrong way.

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

@Trinity11 The "raising boys to be men" rubs me the wrong way too. Coming from a linebacker, I do not want to know what he thinks being a "man' means.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@Mrsq2022 wrote:
@Trinity11 The "raising boys to be men" rubs me the wrong way too. Coming from a linebacker, I do not want to know what he thinks being a "man' means.

I totally agree. I shudder to think what his definition of a "Man" is.

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

I guess this is Mr. Harrison's idea of becoming a "man? Glad my kids had a different sort of role model lol..

(from his Wikipedia page)

His high school football ability was tight, but his lack of maturity at times was a struggle. Harrison did not pay attention to his grades or college entrance tests, and by his senior year he had become disruptive to his football team. Early in his senior year, Coventry staff had to suspend him for two games for challenging an assistant coach to a fight. After he returned from his suspension, in his next game, he began the game by carrying 3 times for nearly 100 yards and 2 touchdowns. After his second TD, he ran down the opposing team's sideline, and was ejected and later suspended for one game for making obscene gestures to the fans. Harrison was in court soon thereafter, after he shot a BB gun in the school locker room towards a defensive coach. He pled guilty to a minor charge and was able to return to school to finish his senior year. Due to his off-the-field issues, powerhouse football programs like Ohio State, Notre Dame, and Nebraska would rebuff their scholarship offers.[5]

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

I second that!!!! My girls are close to 30 now and to be honest, I don't see much of the so called "new parenting" where I live. We sent them to Parochial schools so the concept of being rewarded for just trying didn't exist. Those who excelled got the awards and the high grades; those who did't excel, tried harder. Perhaps that is part;ly why my girls did well in college and are doing well in their careers. I have come across employees who who are all "huggy feely" and constantly need to be told how great they are and need their heads patted on regular basis. I remember several years ago, I hired a really nice young man. He was doing a good job; very personable and harding working. One day, I got a call from his mother. This young man in his early 20's. His mother called to ask that I give him some one-on-one attention because he responded best when he received positive reinforcement and she wanted me to "keep in touch" with her so that "together" we could make sure he was happy and fulfilled in the job....lol I think I was so surprised and amused and then shocked that I babbled something about not being able to do that and hung up. I didn't tell him about his mother's call because she's probably been doing (*&^** like that to him his whole life. She probably ruined few opportunities for him.

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

@Mrsq2022 wrote:
@Trinity11 The "raising boys to be men" rubs me the wrong way too. Coming from a linebacker, I do not want to know what he thinks being a "man' means.

...raising kids to be responsible adults would have been a better choice of words. But I do agree with the sentiment of what he said, if not his choice or words.