Re: Neighbor stole my cookies

tsavorite · ‎03-09-2010

@Carmie wrote:
This lady was also my neighbor from my childhood neighborhood. I have known her forever.

The kids, me included, used to go to her house for drinks and Italian cookies because she lived across the street from the playground. She was a great friend to my parents.
She must be in her upper 80's in age.

We gave her her a check, so no worries about her stealing money. I am not angry, just concerned. This is so not her MO.

After Christmas, I think I will give her daughter a call. There has to be something wrong.

I think you have handled this perfectly and calling her daughter after Christmas is a great idea....since you have known her for soooo long you already know this is out of character for her. Most likely you are correct that something is changing mentally with her. Please let us know how this goes!! God Bless you for kindness...world needs it badly!!

Pearlee · ‎06-11-2011

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@Pearlee wrote:
@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
So, people don't feel compassion for those with dementia?

Wow.

That's very, very sad.

There by the grace of G-d goes you, a loved one, and I.

Why assume the worst of this woman?

IF she has dementia, then she deserves compassion, not vilification and condemnation.

@Plaid Pants2 No need for the attitude of condemnation toward your fellow posters. You are so harsh leaping to your judgment of them. The OP doesn't know that this woman has dementia - she "can't help but wonder" if she does. So no, I don't know that she has dementia and therefore feel no compassion for a thief. You certainly read a lot into people's posts and think the worst of your fellow posters. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt - show some compassion yourself before leaping to conclusions about posts..

And why jump to conclusions and assume the worst about the neighbor lady?

Why not give her the benefit of the doubt that she just might have deminished mental capabilities?

Afterall, it is the holiday season.

You know, good will towards our fellow man, and all that stuff?

It's one thing to say it, but it's entirely different to actually do it.

You should know, as exemplified on this thread.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@Pearlee wrote:
@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@Pearlee wrote:
@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
So, people don't feel compassion for those with dementia?

Wow.

That's very, very sad.

There by the grace of G-d goes you, a loved one, and I.

Why assume the worst of this woman?

IF she has dementia, then she deserves compassion, not vilification and condemnation.

@Plaid Pants2 No need for the attitude of condemnation toward your fellow posters. You are so harsh leaping to your judgment of them. The OP doesn't know that this woman has dementia - she "can't help but wonder" if she does. So no, I don't know that she has dementia and therefore feel no compassion for a thief. You certainly read a lot into people's posts and think the worst of your fellow posters. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt - show some compassion yourself before leaping to conclusions about posts..

And why jump to conclusions and assume the worst about the neighbor lady?

Why not give her the benefit of the doubt that she just might have deminished mental capabilities?

Afterall, it is the holiday season.

You know, good will towards our fellow man, and all that stuff?

It's one thing to say it, but it's entirely different to actually do it.

You should know, as exemplified on this thread.

Yes, I do know, as exemplified on this thread.

I have compassion for the woman.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

I haven't read all the replies yet, but will offer up a couple of things.

First, I'm glad at this point, you aren't confronting her, because while it seem obvious, you don't know for sure what happened.

I have misplaced things or had them end up in places I never put them. Strange things happen.

If you have known her for so long, and know her well (as well as we can really know people) you are right to wonder if something is wrong. Is she failing in health or financially in ways that would cause her to do something like this? Sure it is possible, and confronting her could be devastating.

Does she have family at all that you might talk to? Are there other things and encounters, now that this has happened, that you can see 'signs' that you may have missed or excused, and this would be a place to start with her family?

I'm glad you had more treats to be able to put together quickly, and I feel really bad that this has happened, because something is definitely wrong.

Pearlee · ‎06-11-2011

@ROMARY wrote:
All I can say is that I could write a book......And then, one day, I was watching a TV show in which they were talking about dementia and Alsheimer's. At the end of the segment one of the doctors was going over the various symptoms and then said that a person continuously stealing things is or could be one of the symptoms of one or both of those medical disorders. (Although, I'm only guessing that if they have also been doing it in their younger, mid-life years, it could be a psychological problem?) ............ Regardless: 'I mean', who in their 'right mind' would go around stealing things and not care at all that it's obvious as to who did it.

Or could be kleptomania, or just plain dishonesty. All this is speculation. But facts are the cookies & pretzels were gone.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@Godsgirl 15 wrote:
I think you should confront her or you will never be able to trust her in your home again. Sure, you don't want the cookies back, neither would I, but you need to let her know how you feel.

@Carmie @Godsgirl 15Absolutely!! I think this is exactly the way to handle it. If you say nothing, she may think it's okay, you don't mind. She won't think you didn't notice.

And not just to let her know how you feel. To let her know it was wrong. Apparently she doesn't know that.

We look the other way too many times when people behave improperly. You can and should say something to her.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
So, people don't feel compassion for those with dementia?

Wow.

That's very, very sad.

There by the grace of G-d goes you, a loved one, and I.

Why assume the worst of this woman?

IF she has dementia, then she deserves compassion, not vilification and condemnation.

Yes, it does seem that many people are jumping right to the conclusion that this woman is just 'bad', and not considering that after the OP knowing her for a long time, she could be ill and needing some compassion at the very least and some help most likely.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@Carmie wrote:
Early last evening, a neighbor stopped in collecting money for her church's annual fund raiser for the homeless. We contribute every year.

My husband let her in and she joined me in the kitchen for a cup of tea. We chatted for a while. I excused myself to go to the powder room and while I was washing my hands, I heard her say she had to leave and would let herself out. She was gone before I came out.

Later, my daughter came to pick up cookies and chocolate covered pretzel sticks that I made and packaged for the girls in her Girl Scout troop. She is a Girl Scout Leader.

The goodies were in cellophane bags and tied with ribbon for each of the six girls in her troop and the two leaders and placed in a nice Christmas gift bag.

The bag was gone! There was no one in my house except my husband and me and my neighbor. I have to think that my neighbor took the bag and made a quick exit.

My husband wanted to confront her and get the cookies back. I didn't want the food back because it was compromised and out of my sight. I feel if she needs the food that bad, she can have it.

My daughter and I quickly made up more goody bags for the girls.

I have known this lady forever and she would never do something like this. I can't help wondering if she is suffering from dementia. My MIL did stuff like this before she was diagnosed.

@CarmieWhy is everyone so willing to play the dementia card? Is it an epidemic now? Maybe it's just bad behavior on her part.

Maybe you've known her forever, but how well do you know her? Maybe she's done things like this before or things like it when she had the opportunity. If she has, maybe no one has said anything to her about it and she keeps doing it.

And collecting for the church's annual fund. I wonder how much of the money she collects the church actually gets.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

@Plaid Pants2 @qualitygal

Humbly, I extend a big Thank You. I never had a close relationship with this Uncle, but I can't turn my back on him.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@esmerelda wrote:
@Carmie wrote:
Early last evening, a neighbor stopped in collecting money for her church's annual fund raiser for the homeless. We contribute every year.

My husband let her in and she joined me in the kitchen for a cup of tea. We chatted for a while. I excused myself to go to the powder room and while I was washing my hands, I heard her say she had to leave and would let herself out. She was gone before I came out.

Later, my daughter came to pick up cookies and chocolate covered pretzel sticks that I made and packaged for the girls in her Girl Scout troop. She is a Girl Scout Leader.

The goodies were in cellophane bags and tied with ribbon for each of the six girls in her troop and the two leaders and placed in a nice Christmas gift bag.

The bag was gone! There was no one in my house except my husband and me and my neighbor. I have to think that my neighbor took the bag and made a quick exit.

My husband wanted to confront her and get the cookies back. I didn't want the food back because it was compromised and out of my sight. I feel if she needs the food that bad, she can have it.

My daughter and I quickly made up more goody bags for the girls.

I have known this lady forever and she would never do something like this. I can't help wondering if she is suffering from dementia. My MIL did stuff like this before she was diagnosed.

@CarmieWhy is everyone so willing to play the dementia card? Is it an epidemic now? Maybe it's just bad behavior on her part.

Maybe you've known her forever, but how well do you know her? Maybe she's done things like this before or things like it when she had the opportunity. If she has, maybe no one has said anything to her about it and she keeps doing it.

And collecting for the church's annual fund. I wonder how much of the money she collects the church actually gets.