Community Chat

[KathyPet]

Attach a unsigned note saying you found the envelope on top of some trash cans and wanted to be sure she got it. slip it under her door.

[raven-blackbird]

On 12/23/2014 Holly Jolly JingleBells said:

On 12/23/2014 raven-blackbird said:

just take it back to her............she'll be happy to have it and as far as any suspicions that you opened it..........the check it there, that proves you're not a thief................................raven

How do you know she'll be happy to have it? Perhaps she has an estranged relationship with the sender and didn't want it. Maybe SHE threw it in the trash. Regardless, not for the OP to decide. I certainly wouldn't take it to her in person....if someone showed up on my doorstep with a piece of my mail that they opened I would think that was a little strange. Just because the check is in there might prove she isn't a thief, but it doesn't explain why someone would pick a card out of the garbage and open it.

Did I miss some critical piece of information as to why the OP didn't just put the card in the recipient's mailbox?

because the card wasn't opened...........so she obviously doesn't know what's inside and it was probably an oversight on the intended recipients part...........I threw the keys to the car away once because it was in my hand as I was throwing some trash away and thinking of something else I needed to do also......couldn't find the keys anywhere, had to back track what I had done the last time I knew I had them........sure enough they were in the trash............poop happens.....................................raven

[Peaches McPhee]

Goodness, OP. Did you ever dream that your simple question would lead to such a stir?

[Vamp]

On 12/23/2014 Dam Yankee said:

On 12/23/2014 Vickie00 said:

On 12/23/2014 Dam Yankee said:

It's against the law to open mail that isn't addressed to you. I would knock on her door, apologize, and explain what happened.

I know it is against the law to open it. The only reason I did, since it had been thrown away, was there was some heft to the envelope, like something other than a card might be inside. I initially thought maybe it was an ex-boyfriend who is having a hard time accepting she's moved on. Since the envelope was red, it is kinda hard to miss it. I thought, "well she recognized the return address and threw it away because she's had enough of this person bothering her".

I was worried if I had knocked on her door and handed it to her, unopened, not knowing the story, that she might have been upset of giving her the card that she obviously threw away.

I do thank you for your reply.

You're welcome and I'm sorry, but none of that was for you to decide. You should have just slipped it under her door, unopened, and let her decide what to do with her own mail. You owe your neighbor a major apology.

I agree--never open anyone else's mail unless they specifically ask you to. Your intentions may have been good, but a good neighbor minds his/her own business unless someone is in immediate danger. I don't understand how the OP tries to justify her actions by thinking it might have been from an ex-boyfriend. How is that relevant? It is still NOT YOUR BUSINESS. To me, that makes her actions even more objectionable. Personally, I would be livid if someone did that to me. I disagree that you did the right thing. I hope you've learned your lesson!

You owe your neighbor an apology. If you don't have the courage to do that, slip it under her door or back into her mailbox. She may choose to throw it away again, with the check. People do that, you know. Who knows what strings were attached to that card and gift? Not your business.

[adelle38]

It was not your business to open it. Whether it had a check, a card, a nasty letter inside, you had no right to decide whether it belonged in the trash. You could have either slipped it unopened under the door or knocked and said, I saw this in the trash bin and didn't know if it got thrown away accidentally. Just slip it under the door.

[adelle38]

On 12/23/2014 raven-blackbird said:

On 12/23/2014 Holly Jolly JingleBells said:

On 12/23/2014 raven-blackbird said:

just take it back to her............she'll be happy to have it and as far as any suspicions that you opened it..........the check it there, that proves you're not a thief................................raven

How do you know she'll be happy to have it? Perhaps she has an estranged relationship with the sender and didn't want it. Maybe SHE threw it in the trash. Regardless, not for the OP to decide. I certainly wouldn't take it to her in person....if someone showed up on my doorstep with a piece of my mail that they opened I would think that was a little strange. Just because the check is in there might prove she isn't a thief, but it doesn't explain why someone would pick a card out of the garbage and open it.

Did I miss some critical piece of information as to why the OP didn't just put the card in the recipient's mailbox?

because the card wasn't opened...........so she obviously doesn't know what's inside and it was probably an oversight on the intended recipients part...........I threw the keys to the car away once because it was in my hand as I was throwing some trash away and thinking of something else I needed to do also......couldn't find the keys anywhere, had to back track what I had done the last time I knew I had them........sure enough they were in the trash............poop happens.....................................raven

She didn't need to know what was inside. The address was on the outside of the envelope so she should have just put it in the mailbox or slipped it under the door without opening it.

[Marianne1]

FYI: it is NOT against the law to open it once it is in the trash. Should it have been opened is a different question.

Trash outside of the house is public domain once at the edge of the property or in a designated collection area.

[RainyDayGal]

Turn yourself - and the card - over to the police.

[Shaunac]

On 12/23/2014 RedConvertibleGirl said:

Turn yourself - and the card - over to the police.

Thanks for the laugh!

[raven-blackbird]

On 12/23/2014 adelle38 said:

On 12/23/2014 raven-blackbird said:

On 12/23/2014 Holly Jolly JingleBells said:

On 12/23/2014 raven-blackbird said:

just take it back to her............she'll be happy to have it and as far as any suspicions that you opened it..........the check it there, that proves you're not a thief................................raven

How do you know she'll be happy to have it? Perhaps she has an estranged relationship with the sender and didn't want it. Maybe SHE threw it in the trash. Regardless, not for the OP to decide. I certainly wouldn't take it to her in person....if someone showed up on my doorstep with a piece of my mail that they opened I would think that was a little strange. Just because the check is in there might prove she isn't a thief, but it doesn't explain why someone would pick a card out of the garbage and open it.

Did I miss some critical piece of information as to why the OP didn't just put the card in the recipient's mailbox?

because the card wasn't opened...........so she obviously doesn't know what's inside and it was probably an oversight on the intended recipients part...........I threw the keys to the car away once because it was in my hand as I was throwing some trash away and thinking of something else I needed to do also......couldn't find the keys anywhere, had to back track what I had done the last time I knew I had them........sure enough they were in the trash............poop happens.....................................raven

She didn't need to know what was inside. The address was on the outside of the envelope so she should have just put it in the mailbox or slipped it under the door without opening it.

and there was no reason for her to NOT know what was inside...........the card was in the trash....and as Complicated has so kindly pointed out...........it's now open for grabs.............I have a little old man who sorts through my trash on a weekly basis looking for cans and bottles............and he has every right to do it because it's on the curb............................................................raven