I'm having some trouble deciding what to do for the upcoming holidays. My parents and sister live about 2+ hours away from me and my two sons. Every Christmas Eve for the past 20-odd years, I have driven to my parents' house for the holiday. We're an Italian family, so my mother and aunt cook the traditional fish meal on Christmas Eve. We even did this when the boys were little--in fact, I'd bring not only my own gifts to them, but all of "Santa's" as well, and they would open Santa's gifts on Christmas morning at my parents'. Now, we have a dog and have to drag him along too.
Several years ago, I asked my mother if my parents would come to have Christmas Eve/Day at my house instead. I was getting tired of making the long trip (which is even longer on a holiday) and didn't feel it was fair that I was always the one who had to drive. Plus, my house always looks pretty for the holidays and I want my family to see it. Needless to say, my idea did not go over very well and so I gave in and made the trip. Each year since then, I have reluctantly gone there.
Well, it's coming upon the holidays again, and my mother is assuming I will once again make the trip. She's already talking about inviting other people to her house for Christmas Eve. I want to put my foot down finally and have everyone over to my house. My mother says things like, who'll cook the fish? Or, Your father is too old to drive. Neither is a good excuse. My parents can come with my sister, and as for the meal, I can either order it or make something different. I have plenty of room for everyone to sleep over, so that is not a consideration either. My mother, however, refuses to budge.
Each year I dread the holidays because I feel that no one is listening to my feelings. When I first brought up this idea, I thought it would be nice if we could switch off where we spend Christmas--one year at my parents', one year here. But as time goes on, I realize my parents are getting older (they're in their mid-70's), so they won't be able to make the trip at some point. But that point is NOT now. Wouldn't it be nice if they would agree to spend at least ONE Christmas at my house?
To complicate matters, my sister, who lives about 30 minutes from my parents, told my parents that she is having Thanksgiving at HER house this year. Guess what? My parents are going there. I'm invited too, but the thought of driving on both Thanksgiving AND Christmas Eve makes me very angry....plus the fact that my parents will drive to HER house but not to mine! What should I do? Should I put my foot down and insist my family come here for Christmas? Or give in once again, and resent it the whole time?
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