My first therapy appointment for grieving.

Beautiful life · ‎03-11-2010

My first appointment went well. I go back in a couple of weeks. Each appointment is for 45 minutes, went by fast. She's going to see how I do with therapy before referring me to a physiatrist for medication.

She gave me some suggestions like group therapy, meet ups's and to write my feelings down. I was told that my mom had unrealistic expectations for me.

That I am feel hurt and unnecessary guilt from my past. She said maybe my mom had a little bit of narcissism. My mom is not to blame I'm sure it came from her insecurities.

She he said my feelings were normal, I became a orphan and now I'm lost and going to need a different route in life.

jaxs mom · ‎04-18-2012

Good for you taking this step to help yourself. It takes courage.

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@Beautiful life I am glad to see you have taken a very important first step to your recovery. Little baby steps.

As you said, this is a whole different path for you and without any experience you can feel torn in all directions.

I do hope you will seek out a support group, too. You do not have to say anything if you are uncomfortable at first but give it time-you will hear "your story" from others who have been there, done, that, and how they handle everything.

If you are comfortable with this therapist, let her guide you. Keep the focus on you and remember-you are worth happiness.

I wish you all the best.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

MickD · ‎03-10-2010

@Beautiful life oh good for you! Continue with the grief work and therapy. You'll feel better, and learn so much about yourself and your relationships.

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.... ~ S & G

Witchy Woman · ‎03-15-2010

It's great that you took a step to find some comfort and relief.

I have gone to therapy off and on for many years, including a psychiastrist, hypnotherapy and EMDR therapy.

Even though it was often difficult and sometimes painful, I am thankful I did it. Looking back, I can say it was a wonderful journey.

Keep at it and don't lose faith in the process.

Even just learning to accept how you feel is a big step!

LUV 2 SHOP · ‎10-04-2010

The first step is the hardest. You have passed an important benchmark. I observed that you didn't mention family members. If you are seeking therapy perhaps there are others who would benefit from therapy too. You sound very young. You have a whole life to find happiness, just one day at a time.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Beautiful life wrote:

My first appointment went well. I go back in a couple of weeks. Each appointment is for 45 minutes, went by fast. She's going to see how I do with therapy before referring me to a physiatrist for medication.

She gave me some suggestions like group therapy, meet ups's and to write my feelings down. I was told that my mom had unrealistic expectations for me.
That I am feel hurt and unnecessary guilt from my past. She said maybe my mom had a little bit of narcissism. My mom is not to blame I'm sure it came from her insecurities.

She he said my feelings were normal, I became a orphan and now I'm lost and going to need a different route in life.

@Beautiful life

SO glad you took the first step to heal and move forward!

It can be very hard to allow a therapist to be totally objective .... or even critical of anyone who comes up in discussion. Sounds a little like she "criticized" your mother's actions and you defended her. Please try to resist doing that. Your mother wasn't perfect, so she obviously made mistakes. All mothers make mistakes. Be open to the therapist's observations.

Your being open minded about the dynamics will allow you to see other points of view, which can accelerate your healing process. Don't be afraid or defensive when it comes to considering many other points of view.

I'm not sure if you think you are an orphan now, or she adopted you at a young age when you were an orphan. If I recall correctly, you have a husband a kids, so you certainly can't say you have no family.

In between appointments, things will "come up" ... be sure to document them for discussion at a later time. Oftentimes, it's a process that feels like putting a large jigsaw puzzle together .... it takes time and patience, and every piece counts.

Take good care of yourself.

Drythe · ‎07-09-2011

@Beautiful life

You took a huge step to help yourself!

I am glad for you.

There is no right or wrong way to experience grief, but sometimes it does trigger us to learn some things we didn't know about ourselves, or other people in our lives.

Best wishes on your journey.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@Beautiful life wrote:

My first appointment went well. I go back in a couple of weeks. Each appointment is for 45 minutes, went by fast. She's going to see how I do with therapy before referring me to a physiatrist for medication.

She gave me some suggestions like group therapy, meet ups's and to write my feelings down. I was told that my mom had unrealistic expectations for me.
That I am feel hurt and unnecessary guilt from my past. She said maybe my mom had a little bit of narcissism. My mom is not to blame I'm sure it came from her insecurities.

She he said my feelings were normal, I became a orphan and now I'm lost and going to need a different route in life.

@Beautiful life

SO glad you took the first step to heal and move forward!

It can be very hard to allow a therapist to be totally objective .... or even critical of anyone who comes up in discussion. Sounds a little like she "criticized" your mother's actions and you defended her. Please try to resist doing that. Your mother wasn't perfect, so she obviously made mistakes. All mothers make mistakes. Be open to the therapist's observations.

Your being open minded about the dynamics will allow you to see other points of view, which can accelerate your healing process. Don't be afraid or defensive when it comes to considering many other points of view.

I'm not sure if you think you are an orphan now, or she adopted you at a young age when you were an orphan. If I recall correctly, you have a husband a kids, so you certainly can't say you have no family.

In between appointments, things will "come up" ... be sure to document them for discussion at a later time. Oftentimes, it's a process that feels like putting a large jigsaw puzzle together .... it takes time and patience, and every piece counts.

Take good care of yourself.

@Tinkrbl44 Her defense of her mother is a natural reaction more than people realize. Even the most severely abused child will often defend the parent, especially in the early stages of therapy.

We are brought up not to question our parents or disclose "dirty laundry" about our families, especially those of us brought up in past decades.

I think it would have been better for the therapist not to assess the mother right off the bat since not all the "facts" are available especially in the first session. However, I am not the therapist nor did I sit in the session, so context is important.

jmoymmv.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh