Community Chat

[smoochy]

she recently posted on fb how grateful she was for her support systems of friends and coworkers to help her heal. I was puzzled so messaged her. She said she had a hard time going back to work after summer break and needed a lot of support. In July her half brother (my ex and his wife had three kids after he divorced me) was killed, hit by a car while riding his bike. He was twenty yrs old and had a twin sister and older brother. My son that my ex and I had together was killed in a motorcycle crash in 2013. Truly horrible for one parent to lose two children. My daughter and my son were not close. She seems way more upset about her half brother's death and is grieving harder and longer. This upsets me. Not sure why. She has not cared to share her feelings with me. I grieve my son's death every day and will til I die. Any thoughts to share?

[Janey2]

Is it possible her age has something to do with how she is handling her step-brother's death. I am assuming she was young when her brother died. She is older and wiser now. Or maybe she was close with her step-brother. Of course I am guessing all this. So sad for you and your family.

[spumoni99]

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@Janey2 wrote:

Is it possible her age has something to do with how she is handling her step-brother's death. I am assuming she was young when her brother died. She is older and wiser now. Or maybe she was close with her step-brother. Of course I am guessing all this. So sad for you and your family.

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It was her half brother not a step, just fyi.  She was probably closer to him and I agree the age probably made a difference.

@smoochyI would talk to her openly sounds like you have a good relationship with her.

[QVCkitty1]

She feels what she feels. 

[smoochy]

for clarification my daughter is 37. When her brother was killed in 2013 he was 29, she was 26. I gather she was close with her young half brother. He was a sweet, simple young man with a soft heart for animals especially cats. He    had no agenda except to be kind and do a good job at his work (fast food). 

[nwbabs]

@smoochy it is interesting to see the way various things are shared these days via FB and other social media. Hard to always comprend for an old dogs like me. But folks grieve, express, and heal in different ways as time marches on. 

Today I actually called and spoke with a few folks versus just texting to wish Happy Holidays and Happy New Year. The conversations have been more rewarding than I could imagine. Made me realize I should probably call vesus texting more often. 

Bless you and yours. 

[Shanus]

@smoochy   My younger brother died unexpectedly at 49. He just fell to the bathroom floor getting ready for golf and that was it. The emergency room thought it was his heart but none of us knew he had an illness. My parents were never the same after that. I tried to hold them together being an only child until they passed. 

It's not the order of things even for a sister. It leaves a big emptiness in the hearts of the family. It's expected that your daughter is greiving and it will forever be in her mind. Just provide support and let her talk as long as she needs until she comes to terms with this loss.

So sorry for all of you.

[Roscoe the Rascal]

We all grieve in our own way and deal with our loss the best way we can.  All my experiences has been different through each loss.  Doesn't mean I didn't care or love that person. 

I am so sorry for the loss of your son which is a great loss for you.  Sometimes one loss brings on more sorrow for the next loss because it all connects.  One by one a person goes from our life and just doesn't get any easier.  

You would think the older you get the easier it would be but not always true.  Maybe your daughter can express herself better than she did before.  I have friends I share much more of my feelings with than I do with my siblings and even my daughter.  I can't always say what I am feeling about a loss to some and others I can express myself better.  We are all different.

[jlkz]

@nwbabs 

You can tell more about how a person is doing from hearing a voice than by reading a simple word in a text !!!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄 💛💛💛💛💛

[skatting44]

@smoochy 

   often  feeling of guilt occur when someone dies - guilt that maybe you should have  done something, said something or acted kinder nicer when the person was still alive