Re: Missing My Son

LillyandHobo · ‎07-17-2020

I am so sorry for your loss. My nephew would have been 28 two weeks after he took his life. The questions, the what if's, the could I have, constantly wondering why......It's an awful feeling and it's been 9 years now. He was so handsome, so full of life, had a 4 year old son that he adored........and then just gone. He was my youngest sisters son and I think it has broken her completely. She goes to his grave once a week (or more), she makes sure his grave has a light on it so he's not in the dark, takes new flowers all the time....I don't think it will ever end. It makes my heart so sad when I hear about these things. No words. I wish I could hug you. God Bless you and may your son RIP and Love.

katiemichelle · ‎06-10-2015

I had no idea that so many of us belonged to the club no one wants to join. I am two years into my journey. My young, vital son was 32 when he succumbed to cancer, leaving behind a wife and baby.

There really is nothing like losing one's child! My parent's lost my younger brother at 17 to a car accident. My condolences and caring to all of you ladies that have enduured the loss of a child.

Growing · ‎07-12-2020

To all the people who have had a loved one take their own life. This is a good support group on zoom run by a female pastor who has experienced the same. Christian Survivors of Suicide Loss (I think). Highly recommend. You are not alone.

Contact the group through caregrouppastor@gmail.com

Detachment isn't the absence of love but the ability to take care of yourself in the midst of someone else's choices.

katie1859 · ‎06-25-2022

As a mom, missing your son is natural and I send a hug around you. Our children are our children, and your losing him to suicide is crushing to the heart .
I’m sorry you lost your child and that you must live with the hurt.
I’m very sad to hear this.
Maybe all here who read your post circle you with love and compassion, so you know
We hear you and you’re not alone.

ChouChou · ‎03-13-2010

I lost my son 19 years ago. Ken was 38 and was a wicked smart and funny man. I am still grieving his loss. His father and I never really recovered. My husband passed away on May 8th. He said that he wasn't afraid to die because he wanted to see Ken again.

One thing I have noticed: there is no word for a parent who has lost a child. If you lose your parents you are an orphan. If you lose a spouse you are a widow/widower. What are you if you lose a child.

I find that if I know that I'm going to be around people or situations where I know that my son's name will come up, I can prepare myself and I can handle it without starting to cry. However, if his name comes up unexpectedly I still get a jolt and the tears start flowing. I read this by Kristof St. John, an actor on The Young And The Restless,

"Grieving the loss of a child is a process. It begins on the day your child passes, and ends the day the parent joins them." Kristoff St. John, actor on the loss of his son.

Sapphiregal · ‎04-08-2019

@ChouChou wrote:
I lost my son 19 years ago. Ken was 38 and was a wicked smart and funny man. I am still grieving his loss. His father and I never really recovered. My husband passed away on May 8th. He said that he wasn't afraid to die because he wanted to see Ken again.

One thing I have noticed: there is no word for a parent who has lost a child. If you lose your parents you are an orphan. If you lose a spouse you are a widow/widower. What are you if you lose a child.

I find that if I know that I'm going to be around people or situations where I know that my son's name will come up, I can prepare myself and I can handle it without starting to cry. However, if his name comes up unexpectedly I still get a jolt and the tears start flowing. I read this by Kristof St. John, an actor on The Young And The Restless,

"Grieving the loss of a child is a process. It begins on the day your child passes, and ends the day the parent joins them." Kristoff St. John, actor on the loss of his son.

@ChouChou

I totally understand. For me, this year is 26 years since I lost my son. I still cannot talk about his death without breaking down. The 6 years from his cancer diagnosis until his death were so stressful. Sitting on pins and needles all the time.

We will grieve our losses forever while on this earth.

Like your husband, I look forward to the day I am reunited with him. However, I have another son that I want to spend as much time as I can with, so, I will leave it up to our Good Lord to decide when my time on this earth is over.

Dogs are God's most perfect creatures. Angels here on earth to teach us to be better humans.

ChouChou · ‎03-13-2010

@Sapphiregal wrote:
@ChouChou wrote:
I lost my son 19 years ago. Ken was 38 and was a wicked smart and funny man. I am still grieving his loss. His father and I never really recovered. My husband passed away on May 8th. He said that he wasn't afraid to die because he wanted to see Ken again.

One thing I have noticed: there is no word for a parent who has lost a child. If you lose your parents you are an orphan. If you lose a spouse you are a widow/widower. What are you if you lose a child.

I find that if I know that I'm going to be around people or situations where I know that my son's name will come up, I can prepare myself and I can handle it without starting to cry. However, if his name comes up unexpectedly I still get a jolt and the tears start flowing. I read this by Kristof St. John, an actor on The Young And The Restless,

"Grieving the loss of a child is a process. It begins on the day your child passes, and ends the day the parent joins them." Kristoff St. John, actor on the loss of his son.

@ChouChou

I totally understand. For me, this year is 26 years since I lost my son. I still cannot talk about his death without breaking down. The 6 years from his cancer diagnosis until his death were so stressful. Sitting on pins and needles all the time.
We will grieve our losses forever while on this earth.

Like your husband, I look forward to the day I am reunited with him. However, I have another son that I want to spend as much time as I can with, so, I will leave it up to our Good Lord to decide when my time on this earth is over.

I find that with my husband's death the grief is compounded - this grief upon grief. I am at a loss as to how to handle it. I've had therapy in the past but this long term chronic grief is extremely difficult to come to terms with - just chronic profound and overwhelming sadness.