Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,433
Registered: ‎03-29-2020

@tansy wrote:

I was raised by parents who were very negative:  one extremely critical and the other an alcoholic.  With that background my first thought about a new experience is often negative but I am usually able to shake it off as I gain some perspective on it.  I don't normally share those initial negative feelings with anyone, although my one DIL and I joke around about it.  

I agree with @Caker's assessment that being negative is often realism.  


tansy, bless your heart for powering through and not let your upbringing ruin you. I had pretty much the same experience with my parents, and I know how really hard it is to survive that without your life being ruined.

Good on you! 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,433
Registered: ‎03-29-2020

@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

I ignore someone if their negative outlook bothers me.  I also ignore perpetually perky Pollyanna/Mary Poppins life is rainbows and unicorns people. 


lol, I agree with you. people like that can be just as annoying as the grumpy ones.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@VenturaHighway wrote:

I know we all are going through rough and difficult times but we really don't have a choice at this point.


I have a close  family member that never sees good in anything. And  negative views about everything.


No matter what I say or do, she is mean and hateful.  I know that I can't change anyone but it is sad that people feel this way.


Thought someone else may have the same problem. 



@VenturaHighway  Used to. Not anymore. 

Keepin' it real.
Occasional Contributor
Posts: 14
Registered: ‎04-04-2020

Is your relative in chronic pain?   That can make you feel miserable.

has he or she ever sought professional help?  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,458
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

@SuhseK wrote:

I don't have anyone, personally close to me, like this, but, I'm in the medical field, an RD.  

I've unfortunately, had a few patients, that fit the description.  

It's tough, because that attitude only makes things harder!

When my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer she became absolutely miserible and complained about everything which was unstandable.  However, she was sweet as pie to the doctors and nurses that cared for her.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,407
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

@VenturaHighway  I know exactly what you mean.  I have a friend who I have worked out with at the Y for many years.  She always had something to complain about, whether it was the classes, the activities, or the schedule.  She was not hateful, but she complained about everything.  It was so easy to get sucked into it.


In comes Covid and the Y is closed.  I texted her on three different occasions, asking how she was and if she needed anything.  Her daughter is a doctor, so I did not think there would be any problems, but a friend checks.  Her response on the first two texts were just that she was ok.  On my third text, I let her know the tentative date of the reopening, and it was all negative about the Y.  Not once did she ever contact me.


When the Y reopened, she did not return and I have not heard from her.  I am much happier, and I apologized to the Director and Assistant Director, just in case I had said something that might have offended after spending so much time with my friend.   It is actually a relief that she has not returned, and I still have not heard from her.


I believe that, at least for me, when you get to a certain age, the negativity has to stop.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,978
Registered: ‎09-30-2010

@ninjawife   You have to be nice to the doctors and nurses, and of course should try to be.  But, from my experience, you must be nice to them.  They are pretty much in complete control of you while, depending on what you have, you, the patient, are helpless and have to follow the/their rules.


I am a very independent person so on the rare occasion I have been hospitalized I have loathed it.  I appreciated the--for the most part--excellent care but did diplomatically get my point across about still needing to maintain my dignity.


And I made sure that they understood to alert me as to what aand why they were going to do certain things BEFORE doing them.  Makes it easier for me as a patient to cooperate.



Super Contributor
Posts: 420
Registered: ‎06-02-2010

Narcissitic Personality Disorder might be at the root of the behavior for some, especially if the behavior has been lifelong.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,817
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Nearly everyone posting on this thread is negative, complaining about people whose personality is not to their liking. Look in the mirror.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,864
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

I look in the mirror, and I don't see anything negative/mean/insulting/etc. about myself or toward others.


I'm fairly even-tempered, and, in the past, when confronted by a 'so-called' 'insultor', I didn't say anything.  I just moved on, ignore, etc.  in a normal/pleasant way.


Not over-the-top cheerful, polly-anna-ish etc.


Just normal, for myself.





'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).