Re: Maybe We Should Stop Giving Advice?

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

I'm sorry, but the world isn't all unicorns and puppies, and neither is this place, nor should it be.

To pretend that this place is unicorns and puppies, or to try and make it that way, would be a great big lie.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

SXMGirl · ‎07-07-2010

I think that there are many people who seek advice and post on these boards and may not have any other person to ask. We live in a lonely society where it can be difficult to make or keep friends. It is an epidemic and dangerous, especially as people get older. While some would never post and ask for advice, others may just need a sounding board or need to vent. Hopefully, anyone asking can determine their own best course of action after asking and receiving advice. However, if someone has no one, I would encourage them to reach out to what I consider a safe board such as this. I do not know how many who post here actually know each other, but I think from reading most postings, people here are nice people and mean no harm to anyone. That, in my opinion, is much better than no one.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@denisemb wrote:
@K9buddy wrote:
@denisemb wrote:
@Sooner

I respectfully disagree with you in this one instance as I generally agree/enjoy with many of your posts.

How can being encouraged to seek professional advice be considered inferior to allowing her to continue to share her problems on the internet?

Especially as it includes "a number of us"? Sorry, I think treatment by a professional to be emmensely more helpful than 1,000 "I'm so sorry", "poor you" from random strangers that definitely will not result in any change in this person's dilemma.
Do you not think that these people haven't been told a thousands times from friends/family/family doctors to seek professional help?
so internet strangers offering "I'm sorry" platitudes will help sove their problems?

@denisemb Sometimes people want nothing more than to be heard and acknowledged. “I’m sorry” might be enough.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

denisemb · ‎12-07-2012

@Sooner wrote:
@denisemb wrote:
@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@K9buddy wrote:
@denisemb wrote:
@Sooner

I respectfully disagree with you in this one instance as I generally agree/enjoy with many of your posts.

How can being encouraged to seek professional advice be considered inferior to allowing her to continue to share her problems on the internet?

Especially as it includes "a number of us"? Sorry, I think treatment by a professional to be emmensely more helpful than 1,000 "I'm so sorry", "poor you" from random strangers that definitely will not result in any change in this person's dilemma.
Do you not think that these people haven't been told a thousands times from friends/family/family doctors to seek professional help?
@K9buddy This certain poster does not have many friends,family or doctors. In fact, maybe only one.
.And we're supposed to know this? All the more reason to GET a doctor.

Finance problem? Sliding scales, SS, SSI.

@denisemb It sounds so easy doesn't it? Well, it isn't. Been there done that lived that too many times.

@Sooner

I'll go up against you any day on been there/done that. In my case, you nor anyone else has a CLUE. Which is why I empathize, sympathise with many but ultimately realize *I* nor an internet message board is the answer and encourage proffessional help.

Especially when I don't have all the facts your "in group" do.

Get a FB group and stop frustrating the ""rest" of us. Or at least title your threads ""In-group Post Only".

Denise

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@Carol Diane wrote:
A lot of people on these boards ASK for advice.

@Carol Diane That is the first thought that came to mind when I read the thread.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@NicksmomESQ wrote:
Maybe some people feel alone & have no one in their lives to turn to.So they turn to us.We should always be kind & if necessary encourage those people to seek professional help like most of us on this forum do.
Those people who make unkind remarks should consider not responding at all.You don't know who you're really dealing with.If you say something nasty to someone who's on the edge you may just push them over.

@NicksmomESQ ... I pretty much agree with what you said, however, the people who respond with nasty remarks do not see themselves as nasty, that's the sad part.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

I know i ask about products, but if we are speaking of halfpint, one just wants to help her, but i think she just does not understand some things, or perhaps will not follow our advice.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I know for a fact the said poster comes here for comfort ,when she is frightened. We are her security blanket ,and I refuse to turn my back on her. If trying to help her understand what is happening is nothing to fear and telling her to see her Dr, is bad advice, so be it

It would be worse for her, if everyone gave her a cold shoulder. We are a candle in her darkness, and I refuse to blow that out. She would even be more alone than she is now

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
@NicksmomESQ wrote:
Maybe some people feel alone & have no one in their lives to turn to.So they turn to us.We should always be kind & if necessary encourage those people to seek professional help like most of us on this forum do.
Those people who make unkind remarks should consider not responding at all.You don't know who you're really dealing with.If you say something nasty to someone who's on the edge you may just push them over.
@NicksmomESQ ... I pretty much agree with what you said, however, the people who respond with nasty remarks do not see themselves as nasty, that's the sad part.

@Lindsays Grandma In some cases I'm sure you're right. But in other cases there are posters who seem to enjoy attacking people.Either way, we are all friends on these boards & need to think before we post.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@denisemb wrote:
Or maybe people should stop asking a message board for advice - at least on personal matters?

I.E. I currently have a post asking for advice on the best split pea soup recipe. That's about as far as I take it.

On message boards, one is likely hear things they don't want to hear.

@denisemb I found that out the hard way getting in a discussion thinking I was helping someone w/ questions about a will and older parents. A poster came back at me w/ advice that was intrusive to say the least. I may also have to go the "split pea soup route".

That stinks, too. I'm an open book and try to help by giving my own experiences that I've gone through. When others throw it in your face and are snarky, the boards do get nasty and at times difficult to handle. It takes a tough skin and the ability to stand up for yourself to stay here. Some have it and some just leave. Their choice.