Community Chat

[jaxs mom]

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@nun ya wrote:

I blame Tinder and the like. Why settle down when you can hook up with someone different every night.

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Technically, you can get married and still hook up with whoever you want to. Monogamy is a choice. Sure the majority of society assume marriage = monogamy but the fact remains that like every other part of marriage or partnership it's up to the two people involved to decide the parameters and roles they play. 

[JaneMarple]

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@nun ya wrote:

I blame Tinder and the like. Why settle down when you can hook up with someone different every night.

This is not what the OP is saying out all, you have it all twisted! @nun ya

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[reiki604]

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@Starpolisher wrote:

@Noel7 wrote:

That’s basically the point.  That was expected of women back on the day, not so much now.  Grocery shopping, preparing meals and doing the dishes is waiting on men.  So is doing all the cleaning.  It also deprives women of the time and energy to get their own job or higher education.

Women can still choose that but most don’t want it expected of them.

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@Noel7

I don't want to start an argument but if those things are "waiting on men". Is cutting the grass, shoveling the snow, changing a tire, fixing things around the house, maintaining the cars, etc., etc., all while working a full time job with all the overtime you can get so that your family is taken care of "waiting on women?" Just asking. I am from another generation.

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I believe that sharing responsibilities is what makes a real partnership and should include each person's interests and strengths no matter what they are. Woman today have more options and are able to choose for themselves rather than fulfilling prescribed roles. DH does most of the cooking, I enjoy fixing things around the house and for many years made the higher salary. We share what needs to be done. 

If cooking, cleaning, mending and childcare are a person's interests. More power to them regardless of whether they are male or female.

[Oostende]

I don't see how marriage trending down is a good thing, on a personal level, or a societal level.

We have an older group of women on this board  who continually reiterate the major problems of their own youth, i.e. it is good to have choices.  We are glad women have choices.  Women do not have to be enslaved to the single life set out for them, to be wives and mothers and nothing else.  Fair enough.  I don't think anyone would deny that.  I certainly wouldn't.

The flip side of that, and there is always a flip side, is that in their haste to find self fulfillment in other ways, many younger women become blind to the idea of marriage.  That there is value in bonding for life.  It makes child rearing much easier, it generates more wealth, and over time the efforts that you make on behalf of the marriage itself, pay emotional dividends that aren't acquired by a life of serial monogamy or remaining single.  Now there are surely benefits to that style of life, too.  Again, I'm not denying that.

I am merely making the case that there are advantages pair bonded couples that cannot be denied.  The children of such unions benefit over children who are raised by single parents of either gender.  The research on that is clear. 

In my initial post, I used my own example, but if you prefer a larger, blaket statement about marriage in general, I would say I am for it, in theory as well as in practice. 

[Irshgrl31201]

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@reiki604 wrote:

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@Starpolisher wrote:

@Noel7 wrote:

That’s basically the point.  That was expected of women back on the day, not so much now.  Grocery shopping, preparing meals and doing the dishes is waiting on men.  So is doing all the cleaning.  It also deprives women of the time and energy to get their own job or higher education.

Women can still choose that but most don’t want it expected of them.

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@Noel7

I don't want to start an argument but if those things are "waiting on men". Is cutting the grass, shoveling the snow, changing a tire, fixing things around the house, maintaining the cars, etc., etc., all while working a full time job with all the overtime you can get so that your family is taken care of "waiting on women?" Just asking. I am from another generation.

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I believe that sharing responsibilities is what makes a real partnership and should include each person's interests and strengths no matter what they are. Woman today have more options and are able to choose for themselves rather than fulfilling prescribed roles. DH does most of the cooking, I enjoy fixing things around the house and for many years made the higher salary. We share what needs to be done. 

If cooking, cleaning, mending and childcare are a person's interests. More power to them regardless of whether they are male or female.

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I agree @reiki604, I think it is important to teach children regardless of gender how to take care of themselves.

I watch my grandson (3 yrs old) quite a bit and I want him to know how to take care of himself and not rely on anyone to do so. As I go through my day doing chores, he does them with me. I explain to him not only how to do it but different ways it can be done and why we do it.

I have cooked with him since he was about 18 months. When ever I cooked for him, I put him on the counter and let him get involved. He loves it. He has his own set of childrens knives and other cutlery and loves to make scrambled eggs for himself. He cuts up mushrooms, chives, asparagus, tomatoes, etc... to add to his scrambled eggs that he whisks up himself (I bought him a hair color whisk that is just his size for his personal whisk). He gets on his little step stool while I supervise him cooking his eggs and folding them with a spatula. He LOVES to help me cook and I am convinced he is a more adventurous eater because of that. He has his own little Maldon sea salt tin that he likes to take everywhere with him. He can be a little bougie when it comes to his finishing salt. lol! 

I don't want him reheating food when he gets older or constantly ordering out, I want him to know how to make a nutritious meal on his own and be able to cook for a future girlfriend/boyfriend. 

He knows how to keep his bathroom clean when he stays at my house. He uses his cleaning wipes to clean off the sink and used them when he was potty training and maybe dribbled where he shouldn't have and still cleans up if he makes a mistake. He comes right up to me and says GG I cleaned up my sink after I brushed my teeth. He knows how to go and get the cordless Dyson if he makes a mess and he even loves to clean the toilet. Kids actually enjoy being part of a household and knowing they have chores that are expected of them. He feels so good about himself when he gets praise for being a big boy and taking care of himself, his living space and his belongings. 

I would be embarrassed if my daughter sent some slob out into the world with no idea how to cook and take basic care of himself and a home and expect some poor woman to follow him around catering to him. No way. No how. This kid will know how to take care of himself and how to work as a partner in a household. 

I don't understand why all parents wouldn't want that for their child and  handicap them by not teaching them how to take care of themselves. The world is hard enough, why would you make it harder for your child by not teaching them that because it is considered mans work or womens work. 

[Noel7]

You and I are on the same page @Irshgrl31201

It’s nice to see you and I hope you’ve been well 😀

[muttmom]

@Irshgrl31201

I want to hire your 3 year old grandson.   I hate cleaning toilets.

[Irshgrl31201]

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@muttmom wrote:

@Irshgrl31201

I want to hire your 3 year old grandson.   I hate cleaning toilets.

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Oh my goodness, this kid is obsessed. He wants to clean it every time he uses the bathroom. I have to hide the brush and Comet.

[Irshgrl31201]

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@Noel7 wrote:

You and I are on the same page @Irshgrl31201

It’s nice to see you and I hope you’ve been well 😀

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It is nice to see you too! I have been well, how have you been @Noel7?

[Noel7]

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

You and I are on the same page @Irshgrl31201

It’s nice to see you and I hope you’ve been well 😀

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It is nice to see you too! I have been well, how have you been @Noel7?

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@Irshgrl31201

I’ve been well, also.  We had a nasty summer here, a lot of heat.  SF, fog city, went up to 106, breaking all records by a mile.  We’re at 80 degrees today, the heat just keeps coming. I love hearing stories about your grandson 😊