Community Chat

[mistriTsquirrel]

I would like to get married someday.  I guess it's not for everyone though.

[glb613]

I wonder how many are single parents who don't get married because you can't get welfare if you're married.  I know of a couple who were living together while she was going to school on the tax payer's dime and as soon as she graduated, they got married. 

[blackhole99]

I think education, a great job or profession and ability to financially take care of oneself is not the reason the kids are not getting married. I think if you were to ask , they probably don't know any couple who has been in love and are still together for any length of time. My son's girlfriend could not believe my husband and I have been married for 43 years. She shared she knows no one who has been married more than 14 years. My son's friends go into marriage with the thinking it probably will end in divorce, but they are willing to take the chance.Like I tell my son, "marriage is a commitment, but you have to have the mean red hots for each other and  need each other to make it go for the long haul". Just my opinion, the experts are probably just kids and they don't know anyone who has been married forever either.LOL

[SahmIam]

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@blackhole99 wrote:

I think education, a great job or profession and ability to financially take care of oneself is not the reason the kids are not getting married. I think if you were to ask , they probably don't know any couple who has been in love and are still together for any length of time. My son's girlfriend could not believe my husband and I have been married for 43 years. She shared she knows no one who has been married more than 14 years. My son's friends go into marriage with the thinking it probably will end in divorce, but they are willing to take the chance.Like I tell my son, "marriage is a commitment, but you have to have the mean red hots for each other and  need each other to make it go for the long haul". Just my opinion, the experts are probably just kids and they don't know anyone who has been married forever either.LOL

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THIS. Though not 100% (obviously) but I do believe it pays a larger role than many realize.

A few years ago I was in court and I was asked how long I had been married. I thought the question odd by the attorney but was directed to answer it so I replied "25 years". You would have thought I said the F-word a few times very loudly. There were gasps and "WOW" and "I didn't know people still stayed married that long", etc. The lawyer looked at me, smiled and said "I'm impressed. Don't hear that very often". 

I found it odd and yet...those with me said THEY didn't know anyone who had been married so long. I don't know....I can name MANY couples but....they're my age (50's) are older. Younger couples? Don't know any that has stayed married beyond 5 years; even those living together seem to break up around the 5 year mark. 

Something else... every couple I know who had children young have divorced after the youngest turned 18. I know a few couples who had kids late and are divorcing now that their youngest is 18 (the couple are in their late 50's).

It's definitely interesting to sit back, think and look at the research. There are always exceptions, of course....this is simply what I'm seeing in my circle.

[RedHeadedWench]

My oldest son is 32 and he has no spouse or girlfriend at this time. He likes it that way. He does date, but no one serious.

He is focusing on his studies right now in a doctorate program, so that has alot to do with it. LOL

My middle son, is married and they are currently trying to start a family.

[Oostende]

The demise of marriage makes me sad.  Perhaps it was inevitable once marital vows became optional.

It seems to me that the bonds of marrage...the unshakeable, immutable, sacred bonds of marriage...allow a freedom of being that is unattainable in any other way.

I met my spouse when I was 20.  I'm 53.  I've had him vastly longer than I lived without him.

We raised a daughter together, built a life together, suffered loss together, and now we are grandparents together.

When we are old, he will remember me as I was when I was young.  Our memories intermingle in ways no one else can share.

Our lives together were only possible because we vowed to never, EVER leave one another.  Ever.

There's freedom in that.

[TheMemphisVette]

why do u all turn a perfectly good thread into a personal fighting match?

marriage trending up and down is due to multiple issues.

1.  faith

2.  economic

3.  values

4.  options

5.  human evolution

[sunshine45]

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@Oostende wrote:

The demise of marriage makes me sad.  Perhaps it was inevitable once marital vows became optional.

It seems to me that the bonds of marrage...the unshakeable, immutable, sacred bonds of marriage...allow a freedom of being that is unattainable in any other way.

I met my spouse when I was 20.  I'm 53.  I've had him vastly longer than I lived without him.

We raised a daughter together, built a life together, suffered loss together, and now we are grandparents together.

When we are old, he will remember me as I was when I was young.  Our memories intermingle in ways no one else can share.

Our lives together were only possible because we vowed to never, EVER leave one another.  Ever.

There's freedom in that.

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you may not believe it @Oostende, but all of the things that you said can be achieved even without an official marriage license.

[Noel7]

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@Oostende wrote:

The demise of marriage makes me sad.  Perhaps it was inevitable once marital vows became optional.

It seems to me that the bonds of marrage...the unshakeable, immutable, sacred bonds of marriage...allow a freedom of being that is unattainable in any other way.

I met my spouse when I was 20.  I'm 53.  I've had him vastly longer than I lived without him.

We raised a daughter together, built a life together, suffered loss together, and now we are grandparents together.

When we are old, he will remember me as I was when I was young.  Our memories intermingle in ways no one else can share.

Our lives together were only possible because we vowed to never, EVER leave one another.  Ever.

There's freedom in that.

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you may not believe it @Oostende, but all of the things that you said can be achieved even without an official marriage license.

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@sunshine45. @Oostende

Another point is that the bonds of marriage are obviously NOT unshakable.  If that were true, there would not be divorce or so many married people having affairs.