Re: Marriage Trending Down

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

@trenet wrote:
Even with marrying later, having multiple or serial relationships, that there still is a large number of women (and some men too) who still talk about finding their "soulmate". Strange!

The whole idea of the perfect soul mate has always irritated me. @trenet

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

Both of my sons married in their late 30s. I didn’t think I’d ever have g-kids but I do

deepwaterdotter · ‎03-09-2010

@tansy wrote:
Both of my sons married in their late 30s. I didn’t think I’d ever have g-kids but I do

I got married at 36 years of age. A few people lost bets when that happened.

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

@Starpolisher wrote:
@Snowpuppy wrote:
@DiAnne wrote:
My grandchildern at 29 and 30. Are single and living alone. I haven't heard any complaints from either one.
The complaints I've heard from the young professional guys is that they are looking for someone to settle down with and can't find anyone who is much interested.
This seems to be the situation for my youngest son. He's 36. He's an attractive guy, makes a substantial salary, has a nice laid back personality, owns a beautiful condo in the city yet he's still single. He also says the women nowadays don't want to or know how to cook or clean. I do see this with my sweet dil as well as my friends dil's as well. They certainly don't believe in the traditional roles that I'm used to. He does travel quite a bit and he is happy. That's what's important to me. To each his own but unfortunately for me it means I probably won't have any grandchildren from him. My ds' both believe that marriage should be in the equation before children.

Hi @Starpolisher

Re: “women nowadays don’t know how to cook and clean.” That could be the problem. Most women aren’t interested in waiting on men or being a cleaning lady. There are better options.

Starpolisher · ‎03-10-2010

@homedecor1 wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
@DiAnne wrote:
@Noel7

I actually think it is a good thing. They know they have options.
@DiAnne

I do, too. I can remember all the pressure to get married, and married young. It was expected of us back in the day. Horrible.
@Noel7

Oh yes the pressure! Interesting conversation I had w my spouse today! We both realize we DID get married to young (or I should say I did right out of college - he's older) we are facing a big life changing decision.

re: our children don't want or have pressure to marry (like us)

kids today are well educated, travel, have good jobs & they decide the path of their life!!! I admire them & sometimes I wish I could rewind my life!!

I too wish I could rewind my life! I sometimes admire them as well! I got married at 20. Dh was 22. I finished college while married and had my first child at 27. I've been married 43 years, more than half my life. If I had it to do over I'd also put marriage off till I was older. When I think about it...What was the rush anyway? After all, you have until the rest of your life!(hopefully)😉

note* dh has been getting on my nerves today

"Kindness is like snow ~It beautifies everything it covers"
-Kahlil Gibran

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

@Starpolisher wrote:
@homedecor1 wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
@DiAnne wrote:
@Noel7

I actually think it is a good thing. They know they have options.
@DiAnne

I do, too. I can remember all the pressure to get married, and married young. It was expected of us back in the day. Horrible.
@Noel7

Oh yes the pressure! Interesting conversation I had w my spouse today! We both realize we DID get married to young (or I should say I did right out of college - he's older) we are facing a big life changing decision.

re: our children don't want or have pressure to marry (like us)

kids today are well educated, travel, have good jobs & they decide the path of their life!!! I admire them & sometimes I wish I could rewind my life!!
I too wish I could rewind my life! I sometimes admire them as well! I got married at 20. Dh was 22. I finished college while married and had my first child at 27. I've been married 43 years, more than half my life. If I had it to do over I'd also put marriage off till I was older. When I think about it...What was the rush anyway? After all, you have until the rest of your life!(hopefully)😉

note* dh has been getting on my nerves today

@Starpolisher LOL, those DHs do that. Us, too 😁

Starpolisher · ‎03-10-2010

@TNoel7 wrote:
@Starpolisher wrote:
@Snowpuppy wrote:
@DiAnne wrote:
My grandchildern at 29 and 30. Are single and living alone. I haven't heard any complaints from either one.
The complaints I've heard from the young professional guys is that they are looking for someone to settle down with and can't find anyone who is much interested.
This seems to be the situation for my youngest son. He's 36. He's an attractive guy, makes a substantial salary, has a nice laid back personality, owns a beautiful condo in the city yet he's still single. He also says the women nowadays don't want to or know how to cook or clean. I do see this with my sweet dil as well as my friends dil's as well. They certainly don't believe in the traditional roles that I'm used to. He does travel quite a bit and he is happy. That's what's important to me. To each his own but unfortunately for me it means I probably won't have any grandchildren from him. My ds' both believe that marriage should be in the equation before children.

Hi @Starpolisher

Re: “women nowadays don’t know how to cook and clean.” That could be the problem. Most women aren’t interested in waiting on men or being a cleaning lady. There are better options.

Hi @Noel7

I don't know but I think the problem may be how they view it. I don't consider what I do "waiting on men" or being a "cleaning woman." I do it because I want to and because I was raised to believe it was my role. Just as it's his role to be the bread winner, fix things, do the yard work and be the head of the family. That's how my parents did it so that's what I knew. And yes both my mom and I worked outside the home but after our children started school all day. While I would put marrying off until I was older, I wouldn't change the role I play. I actually enjoy it and believe it IS important to the dynamics of a family! The happiest time of my life was being a stay at home mom with my ds'!😉😀

"Kindness is like snow ~It beautifies everything it covers"
-Kahlil Gibran

tends2dogs · ‎05-08-2010

@Starpolisher wrote:
@TNoel7 wrote:
@Starpolisher wrote:
@Snowpuppy wrote:
@DiAnne wrote:
My grandchildern at 29 and 30. Are single and living alone. I haven't heard any complaints from either one.
The complaints I've heard from the young professional guys is that they are looking for someone to settle down with and can't find anyone who is much interested.
This seems to be the situation for my youngest son. He's 36. He's an attractive guy, makes a substantial salary, has a nice laid back personality, owns a beautiful condo in the city yet he's still single. He also says the women nowadays don't want to or know how to cook or clean. I do see this with my sweet dil as well as my friends dil's as well. They certainly don't believe in the traditional roles that I'm used to. He does travel quite a bit and he is happy. That's what's important to me. To each his own but unfortunately for me it means I probably won't have any grandchildren from him. My ds' both believe that marriage should be in the equation before children.

Hi @Starpolisher

Re: “women nowadays don’t know how to cook and clean.” That could be the problem. Most women aren’t interested in waiting on men or being a cleaning lady. There are better options.
Hi @Noel7
I don't know but I think the problem may be how they view it. I don't consider what I do "waiting on men" or being a "cleaning woman." I do it because I want to and because I was raised to believe it was my role. Just as it's his role to be the bread winner, fix things, do the yard work and be the head of the family. That's how my parents did it so that's what I knew. And yes both my mom and I worked outside the home but after our children started school all day. While I would put marrying off until I was older, I wouldn't change the role I play. I actually enjoy it and believe it IS important to the dynamics of a family! The happiest time of my life was being a stay at home mom with my ds'!😉😀

@Starpolisher I totally agree with your post. Alas, it isn't for everyone.

Fear not Brothers and Sisters! I have read THE BOOK..........we win!!!

I am still oxox · ‎03-09-2010

Same here I was married in my late 30's and we will be married 25 years next May.

@Sweetbay magnolia wrote:
I was in my late 30's when I married, almost 20 years ago.

It was not a goal of mine. Someone asked, and I said yes.

Though I do like the company of a partner, and financially things are simpler when "joined" - I have had moments when I would like to be un-married, but I realize that when one has a decent arrangement it is best to stay right there. I'm glad I have some help getting through life.

Don't know what I will do if he dies before me, though I know i can sustain myself.

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

@Starpolisher wrote:
@TNoel7 wrote:
@Starpolisher wrote:
@Snowpuppy wrote:
@DiAnne wrote:
My grandchildern at 29 and 30. Are single and living alone. I haven't heard any complaints from either one.
The complaints I've heard from the young professional guys is that they are looking for someone to settle down with and can't find anyone who is much interested.
This seems to be the situation for my youngest son. He's 36. He's an attractive guy, makes a substantial salary, has a nice laid back personality, owns a beautiful condo in the city yet he's still single. He also says the women nowadays don't want to or know how to cook or clean. I do see this with my sweet dil as well as my friends dil's as well. They certainly don't believe in the traditional roles that I'm used to. He does travel quite a bit and he is happy. That's what's important to me. To each his own but unfortunately for me it means I probably won't have any grandchildren from him. My ds' both believe that marriage should be in the equation before children.

Hi @Starpolisher

Re: “women nowadays don’t know how to cook and clean.” That could be the problem. Most women aren’t interested in waiting on men or being a cleaning lady. There are better options.
Hi @Noel7
I don't know but I think the problem may be how they view it. I don't consider what I do "waiting on men" or being a "cleaning woman." I do it because I want to and because I was raised to believe it was my role. Just as it's his role to be the bread winner, fix things, do the yard work and be the head of the family. That's how my parents did it so that's what I knew. And yes both my mom and I worked outside the home but after our children started school all day. While I would put marrying off until I was older, I wouldn't change the role I play. I actually enjoy it and believe it IS important to the dynamics of a family! The happiest time of my life was being a stay at home mom with my ds'!😉😀

@Starpolisher

That’s basically the point. That was expected of women back on the day, not so much now. Grocery shopping, preparing meals and doing the dishes is waiting on men. So is doing all the cleaning. It also deprives women of the time and energy to get their own job or higher education.

Women can still choose that but most don’t want it expected of them.