MY THERAPIST...

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

2. A man says to his neighbor, I have an extraordinary dog. He brings me the newspaper every morning. The neighbor responds by saying "That's noting special. Lots of dogs do that." The man says, "Sure, but I don't have a subscription."

3. A blond has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and says, "You have acute appendicitis. The blond says, "That's sweet doc, but I came here for medical help.

4. The curiosity of the passenger was excited by his seat mate who has his right arm in a sling, and the following dialogue occurs: "You broke your arm didn't you?" "Well, yes I did." "Had an accident, I suppose?" "Not exactly, I did it trying to pat myself one the back." "My land! On the back! Now, whatever did you want to pat yourself on the back for?" "Just for minding my own business."

5. A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm just a walking economy." His friend replies, "What do you mean?" "It's like this, my hairline is in recession, my stomach is a section of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me in a deep depression.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

Twoaces · ‎05-02-2011

I don’t know where you find all these great sayings and fun and silly jokes, but I sure enjoy them! Such a nice respite from all the craziness! I shared the silly jokes from last week with my 5 year old god grandson who loves them. He’s at that stage of wanting to tell jokes, and those were right up his alley!

thanks very much for taking the time to post all of this for us!